BlueScrubs Blog

Serious Conversation

Years ago, I had a talk with myself regarding my troubles about love and relationship. My inner self told me: "I think your problem is that you are very serious about getting into and being in a relationship that you are missing out on opportunities that are yet to present themselves. When you meet a guy, you already categorize him to MIGHT or MIGHT NOT have a future with. You have judged them as to what they have initially shown you. When you yourself are holding back in the beginning. At the start, both people are expected to hold back a little, so by putting a tag on a person early on, when he hasn't shown himself fully on all his potential is what's making you sad. What if he was actually good, but you didn't give him a chance to begin with?"
With that, I gave one guy a chance. The problem is, when I start to have a bond with someone, I trully give them all the chances and accept everything and overlook everything, even all the red flags. That it took me 4 years to realize that the relationship I was in was not the right one for me.

Was I right with the way I dealt with my issue before that landed me the 4 years relationship? It was. Because even when it was not the right relationship, I learned so much from it. So now, Im thinking of another change inside me. But I guess this time, I will focus on something else.

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Aug 2018
in Self-Improvement
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Diplomacy and Kindness

Recently, I had a conflict with a co worker who has become a friend. And someone gave me an advice that united my heart and my mind.. He said: Never pick a fight and make an enemy out of anyone. No matter how you dislike a person, deal with them with diplomacy and kindness. For you never know what they might bring to you.

That moment, I gave it deep thought. I have 3 options:
1. I will confront the issue with anger. With it I keep my pride and express to everyone that I am right. And that noone can step on me because I know how to fight back.

2. I will face the issue with apathy. Some people might think I'm wrong on the matter, some people might tale my side. But who cares? I will just act as if I don't care and it doesn't matter.

3. I will talk to the person involved sincerely using diplomacy. Even when she wronged me, I'll give kindness. This will kill my pride but it will keep the peace and won't create unnecessary drama and awkwardness at work. And if by it she still rejects my attempt to peace keeping, at least I will be at peace.

So, I chose option 3, anyway, the only thing I lost was my pride, temporarily. In the end, I kept my friendship and peace. That guy was right. A little diplomacy and kindness go a long way. And letting go of pride once in a while, gives me peace that I need way more than whatever prize pride will ever bring me.

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Aug 2018
in Self-Improvement
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Little Miss Cautious

Good day CS. I haven't wriiten in a while.

but now, i have something I want to talk about, so here I am..

All my life, I've always been so careful and really cautious about my steps. Making sure that i don't make any wrong major decision. People around admired how my life is in the right direction. Giving praises to my parents on how they raised me well and and how lucky they are to have a chilf like me..

The thing is, I had people's admiration, but I was living under too much pressure. I thought I was happy with it, but it didn't feel like living my life the way that I can achieve the kind of happiness that goes through your soul. The kind of happiness that inspires you to be bolder and take risks.

I thought it was because of lack of a certain person in my life. A love interest to be exact. So I entered a relationship thinking that it would give me the push I needed. But instead of being pushed, I became more comfortable. Instead of bettering myself, I focused on bettering the other person that I put myself less in priority. After a long while, I realized the relationship is getting nowhere, and some triggering situations, I ended the relationship.

Then I opened myself up to dating again. I dated a few guys of different background, races, and personalities. Until I found one guy who suited all the criteria. He was one of the triggers of big changes in me. He is a great guy. Values, personality, availability. However, he made it clear that he cannot commit, so I stopped seeing him. It was difficult, but I cannot continue with something without guarantee..

I guess what I'm trying to say is, even when Ive tried to change my outlook and the way i see things, some values and beliefs never change. Ive changed so much, but I'm still the little miss cautious me..

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Aug 2018
in Self-Improvement
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No more fights

So, this is an update to my first blog..

I have ended it with my then boyfriend. I was taught by the example of my parents that loving someone is putting the other person's needs before your own.

Our relationship started out that way. However as time went on, especially on the later months, it felt like he was only more interested with his own happiness, like mine didn't or shouldn't matter much. At least that's how it felt to me. I know that I didn't lack in trying to communicate it with him, clearly and frankly, yet, he'd rather not talk about it, so he ignored me. My point is, if there is an issue in the ralationship, shouldn't you both talk about it? Not avoid it? Just because it isn't an issue for you, doesn't mean that its just ok with your partner. The sad thing is, the lack of solution to certain problem keeps lurking. And instead of both of you talking it out to resolve it once and for all, it just gets set aside and builds up frustration everytime...

So, now, I'm moving on..

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Mar 2018
in Dating & Relationships
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GOALS

When 2018 started, I have vowed to pursue a less lazy life and try to be a more devoted woman who knows how to clean and cook.

Ive mastered the cleaning part when I was 6 and a master of it now. The cooking part however proves to be way more challenging than brushing the edges of the bathroom floor. So Ive pushed myself harder and in less than 3 months, I learned not to burn my fried spring rolls and sunny side ups.

I have a feeling though that I have to learn how to cook vareity of dishes to be able to satisfy my future husband. Or else, he'll have to suit himself in takeouts everynight for 3 years before he divorces me.

Good day CS!

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Mar 2018
in Self-Improvement
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Valentine's Fight

My boyfriend and I had a petty fight on Valentine's day. And haven't talked since. I don't know how it became a fight actually. I told him I was kind of disappointed about the day, he told me "thank you for ruining Valentine's."

I got speechless. I didnt know what yo say because I suddenly got frustrated. It probably was fault for expecting something. I know that he has a lot on his plate right now. But I wasn't expecting anything elaborate. He knows me and that I like simple things. Come on.. I'm still a girl. I want something special on a special day. Not just a distracted "happy valentines day baby" reply.

What hurts me more is that he's ignoring me now. Wth! What is ignoring ech other for days going to resolve? And now, here I am, complaining about it here because I can't rant about it on social media, because my family follows me there abd they're nosy. And I'm oceans away from my friends. Or booze!

Some strawberry Ice cream for me please!

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Feb 2018
in Women
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52 comments
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This is a list of BlueScrubs's Blogs. Click here for BlueScrubs's Blog List

BlueScrubs Blog (6)

Serious Conversation

Diplomacy and Kindness

Little Miss Cautious

No more fights

GOALS

Valentine's Fight

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