Little Miss Cautious
Good day CS. I haven't wriiten in a while.
but now, i have something I want to talk about, so here I am.. All my life, I've always been so careful and really cautious about my steps. Making sure that i don't make any wrong major decision. People around admired how my life is in the right direction. Giving praises to my parents on how they raised me well and and how lucky they are to have a chilf like me..
The thing is, I had people's admiration, but I was living under too much pressure. I thought I was happy with it, but it didn't feel like living my life the way that I can achieve the kind of happiness that goes through your soul. The kind of happiness that inspires you to be bolder and take risks.
I thought it was because of lack of a certain person in my life. A love interest to be exact. So I entered a relationship thinking that it would give me the push I needed. But instead of being pushed, I became more comfortable. Instead of bettering myself, I focused on bettering the other person that I put myself less in priority. After a long while, I realized the relationship is getting nowhere, and some triggering situations, I ended the relationship.
Then I opened myself up to dating again. I dated a few guys of different background, races, and personalities. Until I found one guy who suited all the criteria. He was one of the triggers of big changes in me. He is a great guy. Values, personality, availability. However, he made it clear that he cannot commit, so I stopped seeing him. It was difficult, but I cannot continue with something without guarantee..
I guess what I'm trying to say is, even when Ive tried to change my outlook and the way i see things, some values and beliefs never change. Ive changed so much, but I'm still the little miss cautious me..
Comments (15)
Few regrets in my life but I don’t let them bog me down. Life is meant to be enjoyable
Yes, I agree, life is good and its meant to be enjoyed. However, this part of me makes me less fun than I wanted to be. I get jealous of people who can just ignore their doubts and go for it and trully enjoy the moment. But since Ive recognized it, ill be bettef at it..
Regarding the guy who were not interested in a serious commitment, I guess there’s no point in continuing a relationship with him since you’re looking for something more promising? I think you did the right thing...
I guess having no options is easier, yet it's going to be hard as well. I'm just gonna take things slow, as i usually do, so I don't miss anything out along the way. Thanks!
Yes, it is good to break through your barriers, take that chance. That is the only way to experience life more fully.
Yes, i agree that's a better way to live life. To be less stressed and less worried and enjoying the here and now. But of course not being totally dumb with decisions. I hope.
Living "la vida loca" (Ricky Martin song) is cool, you have to try, I guess you need a little Latino blood in you veins.
You are right, i know good things take time.. However, sometimes, if you know things are going good, you'd want it to happen right away... But thank you.. I will do my best...
Yes, i guess it is innate in a person to be anxious if something isnt going right by ones. I guess it's called intuition.
I heard a old Preacher say once....if you have to worry and wonder if something is right or wrong it's usually wrong.....I often think alone this saying when confused in making a decision.
You seem very mature in your life, and even if life is unfair at times you can still come out ok.
It's good to see you again,
Thanks! Yes, I'm sure my parents have the best intention and I realized not too long ago actually that it is more important to them that I am happy than me doing what they want.
And this "if you have to worry and wonder if something is right or wrong it's usually wrong.." i will try to remember during those times that I am in confusion.
Thanks a lot!