Yesterday i was washing up..took me an hour,was a very windy day...and i threw the washing up water the wrong way in the wind and ended up wearing all the dirty water... and all i could say was "errrgh!" ... saying this didn't help at all... never cleaned me up... anyway thought i'd share this with you all..hopefully some might have a chuckle
chopping firewood....i lead an exciting life... can't wait for tomorrow,i might be chopping more firewood... life doesn't get much better than this... least i'm not sat in a bar playing dominoes....... yet!
The dog in my picture..beautiful boy..2years of age.... is very timid (even to me).. he has been barking most of the nights lately..protecting the land etc..this starts usually after eating..Today 4 strangers appeared on the land..i heard them from the house...i saw "quick quick!" (the dog) sunbathing and chewing a stick and didn't bat an eyelid at the possible pillagers...he also barks at me sometimes until he can see me.. very strange dog and i have known a lot of dogs in my life..although he is a good dancer..the dog has talent..
This week i will be concentrating on getting a girlfriend who resembles Daphne out of the "Scooby Doo" programs.. (if you don't know"scooby doo" then serious research is required)..
The reason for this is because i've grown out of the Tinklerbell stage...don't get me wrong..Tinkerbell is a beautiful girl,but we don't see eye to eye... infact she says she needs a smaller man...sizeist or what!!!
so now ...well this week anyway i shall be looking for a Daphne Lookalike...
Thanks for reading,and for all the encouragement you will all give me...
my hair is long..blows everywhere in the wind,and gets in the mouth while eating..you tend to eat it...i have eaten loads of it in the past....but still i don't know what it tastes like....don't know if god forgot to put a taste in hair or my taste buds are not refined enough for the explosion of a delightful taste... what does human hair taste like?.... chicken?
if you ever was face to face with your creator(e.g..GOD)....what would you ask him...say to him...how would you react to him etc..would you ignore him.....
Isn't it nice...having the duvet all cuddled around you,your beautifully war? you can star fish on the bed..have all this room for yourself..don't have to move until you feel like it......AAAHHH!!! you are single...
Isn't it nice having your lovers arms wrapped round you,both naked together and your squashed right up to the end of the bed..nearly falling off it i might add.. if your careful and don't move you might be able to suffer another half hour hanging out of the side of the bed trying to sleep until your other half decides WE are all awake and getting up now.... AAAHHH! now you are in hell...
(Its a hard life sometimes)
aged 45 and a bit...still not met the love of my life..been on a dating site and everything..all i'm asking for is a nice girl who likes to dress in a green skirt ,revealing lots of leg,must be sexy,have her hair in a bun,must be 2 inches tall and like snorting magic pixie dust...not much to ask for..there must be loads of girls like this out there...
Anyway diary..i will wait......
saw a girl today at the local cafe...although she was 5ft 3..she said "i like you!"..but i asked if she had a younger..but smaller sister.....she said "yes..she's 2 inches tall!" .. i asked if her name was "Tinkerbell"..she told me that it did used to be that...but she changed it....i thought " damn!"... and told her i wasn't interested..
so i am still looking for love...don't understand why i haven't found my love..i'm not very picky...
...................this post is influenced by a nice mood and plenty of alcohol .... ROAR(lion)
i've been thinking hard and long and have been doing a lot of research about this subject for many years and have finally come up with the perfect ice breaker for any occasion... it goes like this.. "Hi!" .. "i like you!" ..
note that there was a dramatic pause between the 1st word "Hi!".. and the following "i like you!" sentence.. well this was done deliberately so that this blog sounds more intelligent than it at first appears..and also the pause is their incase there has to be a hand gesture while speaking...or infact between speaking so to speak...for example .. a handshake, a pat on the shoulder/back, a wave, a cheesy point with the finger... or something..
anyway i'm glad to share this knowledge with you,thanks for reading..i don't mind if you want to try this out on a friday night down the club..it's not copyright,and you don't have to thank me..it is my pleasure....
next week i will be concentrating on "How To Woo a potential Lover by doing cartwheels past him/her all day".. (might change this title though,there's something wrong...maybe "rolly pollies".. instead of cartwheels..
all the best...............
Lee (samsonx)
When i was a child around 10yrs (ish) i had a Rubix cube and was probably bored and felt like showing off and being an idiot (i was a happy child that just loved people to laugh at me or anything)
Anyway..it was fairly mixed up,i mixed it myself as random as possible.. i walked into the dining area and declared that i am going to complete a Rubix cube behind my back in front of around 6 family members... i had their attention..! so i placed the cube behind my back and fiddled around and randomly turning blocks round etc..while i counted..then when my alloted 20seconds came up i shouted "DADAAAHHH!" pulling from my back a fully completed Rubix cube to my shock surprise and amazement...the family gave their polite "err well done Lee !" encouragement thingies...but!! i think they thought it was a set up trick or something..cos only i seemed mesmerised by what happened .i have never done a rubix cube when i have "conciously" tried... before or after this event.. it's a kind of magic!
samsonx Blog (10)