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EL: It is not the End

LL will quit the job and leave us. But it is not the end. It is a new beginning for him.

So far CC and PP quitted the job, to welcome the November, a month when many new jobs will be created and many companies will hire employees. Yes, many jobs, many companies, but much more people. Compared to the large number of people who seek for jobs, those jobs and companies are fewer.

Of course the competition is very fierce and cruel. Though you are quite excellent, yet there are always some people who are more outstanding. So you still can not get a job.

Many people call that war or battle. A war or a battle to get a job among so many excellent rivals… But I would rather call that hope.

A hope to get a better job and make life better.smitten

Yes, it is not the end, but usually we will feel sad when one colleague leaves. Who knows where they will go. Perhaps in the future we can’t see each other anymore. The world is so big.

Yet they existed in our life at those times.

Anyway, it is not the end. It is a new beginning. A beginning of a better future. smitten
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EL: Stars, Shooting Stars

Roumania beauty~~ The blond hair is you from the far West, and the black hair is me from the far East. hug

Embedded image from another site



They said when you look up into the night sky for some longer times, you will see one or two shooting stars flash across the sky.

But when I look up, I can not even find any stars, let alone shooting stars. The city is polluted, and the night is full of lights, so it is very bright.

I remember before I saw many stars in the dark blue sky. They were twinkling, tranquil and mysterious. They seem to see through everything.

Yet so far I haven’t seen any shooting stars. I guess shooting stars are always sad as once they appear, they will vanish quickly.

Just like some people. They come quickly and they leave quickly. Just like some love.

Yet another people, they are more like the other stars, twinkling, tranquil, mysterious. They are far away, they watchcool, they care, silently, in the distance.
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EL: Distance in a Family

Distance in a family can be very far.

She said her dad and her mom have been quarreling all these years. Even the minor things can make them quarrel. Since her mom lost her job, her dad has ignored her mom completely. Apathy exists between her dad and her mom.

She said her young brother has become her dad’s enemy since her young brother turned 15. Her young brother always disagrees with her dad’s deeds and her dad always disagrees with her young brother’s deeds. After several years’ quarrels, apathy exists between her dad and her young brother.

For some reasons, apathy also exists between her mom and her young brother. These years, her young brother hasn’t called her mom mom. So her mom always sighs: “Yes, I have a son, but my son has stopped calling me mum these years.”

For them, family seems to become a wall, which imprisons them in an unhappy state. So she always sighs: “They always said that it is time for me to get married and have a family. But if this is what family is like, then I prefer to stay single.”

But I think, family doesn’t fail, just people in it fail. cold
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EL: Loneliness

She said:

“Before I met him, I seldom felt lonely in my life.

“After I met him, I felt how lonely I used to be before.

“Now he died, I feel so lonely in this big big world full of so many people.”

I patted her head comfort. I guess what she lost is not just a husband, but also another “myself”.

But at least she is lucky to meet another “myself”. So many people walk through their whole life and still can not meet the another “myself”. However, she has met, though her another “myself” has died..

“Half of what I say is meaningless; but I say it so that the other half may reach me." Read it somewhere.

I guess most of us have already said enough, but the other half still can not reach us. uh oh
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EL: Those Who are Really behind You

I feel quite hurtful when TT ignores me after she got married.

She got married in April. From then on, she seems to disappear among us. Before she got married, I would see her 2 or 3 times in a year when I came back. But after she got married, I haven't seen her and got few chances to hear from her.

She says she is extremely busy, busy with her husband, busy in visiting her husband’s family and relatives, busy in joining her husband’s friends circle…

I asked DD and RR whether they had heard of TT. DD, RR, TT and I were good friends in high school. They said no, they hadn’t heard of her for ages.

This time when I came back, I bought a gift for TT. But she told me she would visit her husband’s relatives and friends in other city so could not join me.

Yes, I can understand that she tries to get along well with her husband’s family and friends, but--- I am one of her friends too.

She just knows her husband’s friends for a short time but her husband’s friends are more important than me.

First I felt I shouldn’t split hairs on such kind of minor things. But when YY knew it, she also said what TT does is not what a good friend should do.

YY is one of my good friends. She shared her stories of blind dates with me. I guess that is what good friends should do, to share the happiness and sadness, to learn and encourage each other. buddies

Today I read KAI-FU LEE’s 15 advices to the young girls. One if them is: Never lose your friends circle or ignore your family after you find your lover, because if he leaves, it is exactly your friends and your family who are really behind you.

Well… That is so true. Molly has very few friends. So her ex asked her to build her own friends circle and not rang him all the time. Now her ex has left her. She feels so lonely. moping
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EL: The Sky is Blue and Black

Well have been visiting many relatives and friends and find that “All happy families are alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”.--- Tolstoy

LL’s wife is quite beautiful. They say her own family is much richer than LL’s, so LL’s family is always looked down upon by his wife’s family. Poor LL! He and his parents are rather rich and respectable among us.

XX’s wife turns out to be a vixen. She is stupid, lazy, selfish, wasteful, uneducationed and bad-temper. Once XX quarreled with his wife, his wife threathened to throw their son off from the seventh floor. XX is unhappy. But it is his choice. Who asks him to marry her?

AA is 70 years old now. This time she looks much older than last time. In many people’s eyes, she is very good luck. Her family is a little richer than other common families. Yet her son died last year because of over-drinking.

MM’s husband is ill today. MM feels that life is quite meaningless. Yes, her life is also better than the majority, yet her husband is ill recently and they don't have any child. So even though they have so much money, yet life is quite meaningless.

FF always sighed in the phone that life is meaningless too. Her husband is not good to her. Her son is not good to her. Her beloved father is far in another country. She always says that ten years ago when she still lived in the poor village she was much happier. Now she is in a developed country, but she has lost her happiness.

TT’s eldest son suddenly becomes paralytic. But they are so poor that they don't have enough money to cure their son.

JJ has a stroke. Can not believe it. He is just in his 40s. I still remember before he liked to show off his money. He and his brother are richer than the others. At those times he always liked to show off his money, his house, his car, and his business. Now he has a stroke. They use up all their money and borrow much money. His wife goes to other city, they say she goes to earn money, but who knows what she is doing in that far place! So this is exactly that saying: thirty years up and down. Don't be too arrogant when you are rich. You can’t always sit on top of the hill.

……

People always ask what fate is. By watching people's life and living our own life, we can get the answer...The bad is the shadow of the good. They are not opposite. They are twins.

Yes… I look up. The sky is blue and black. cats meow
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EL: His Old Flames

One of his old flames will get married on the coming National Day, but the bridegroom is not him. :)

How many old flames has he had? Lol 4 or 5. I like them too. Pretty girls.

So he gave his sincere congratulation to the bride-to-be. Actually he gives his best wishes to all his old flames.

At those times he was crazy about his fourth old flame, but that girl has already had a boyfriend. Later that girl refused him (She is the only one who refuses him. Others, it is he who said good-bye to them first:). Many friends said that if he hadn’t given up so earlier, he would have won, after all, he is much better than her boyfriend.

I encouraged him several times to compete with her boyfriend, but he didn’t. Once I thought he was a coward with no courage, but later what he said changed my mind:

“She chooses him, so I do not want to disturb her. I hope she is happy. If I always give her troubles, always ring her, always send her messages, her life will be in a mess and she won’t be happy.”

From then on I know he is not a coward. He just loves her in another way.

And then I understood why I encouraged him to compete with her boyfriend. That is the same: I also hoped he could be happy.

The opposite side of love is not hatred, but indifference. However, I guess, it is not hatred or indifference that makes us choose to leave silently. It is love. violin
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EL: The Way of the World

Today is Mid-Autumn Day. Grandpa is alone in HK. I called him. He has been ill all these years. He said slowly and weakly: “Doctor told me not to eat tomatoes, potatoes, some vegetable…What else can I eat? Not many. My head aches. My feet ache. My bones ache…”

I feel so sorry for him. 82-year-old man. When he walks, he feels tired. So, in this festival, he can not come back---too far for him, and too tired for him. So he is alone. He is forgotten.

There is a saying: Thirty years up and downs. 30 years ago, whenever grandpa came back, many people went to welcome him. As a goldsmith in HK, he had some gold and some money. And 30 years ago, people in the hometown were poor. So, all the friends, relatives crowded to welcome him, as if he carried many bags of gold.

20 years ago, he was still young, healthy and capable. His sons were building their business in HK too. His grandchildren were healthy and clever and loved him. Whenever he came back, he was still the centre. Those friends, relatives all crowded around him, as if he was the king.

10 years ago, his sons became to have money and power. His grandchildren grew up. When people crowded him, some began to crowd his sons.

At those times, grandpa paid more attention to my cousins, but not my sister and me due to some family reasons. Other relatives and friends always forgot us because compared to my uncles, we were poorer.

Now, 2010. Grandpa becomes old, weak, and unhealthy. And he doesn’t have so much money. So now, not many people remember him. Those who used to crowd him as if he was the king all rushed to crowd his sons, my uncles, who have some money; and their sons, my cousins, who do business overseas and have some money. Those grandchildren, whom he used to love so much, ignore him when he becomes old and poor. So in this festival, he is forgotten.

Only mom called him: He is my mom’s father. Only my sister and I called him: He is my mom’s father. Mom said: “This is the way of the world.”

Yes, the way of the world. You never know who are genuine when you are still rich, strong, capable and have some power.

Grandpa knew this truth 30 years ago. He said: “I know it, but I can not change it.”

Who can!
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WX: Tsangyang Gyatso, This Life

Today PP quitted the job and left us. We have been sitting in the same office for more than 1 year, working, laughig, gossiping, complaining... Now she left.moping

“There is no feast in which the guests do not part. ”
“Even thousand miles I see you off, we have to face the departure doomed.”

I have heard these sentences since I was child watching the Cantonese martial arts teleplays.

Leaving is eternal. In ancient time, in mordern time… Time changes everything.

Buddha said, I have looked at you 500 times in my prelife, so that I can meet you in this life. So I must have looked at PP 500 times in my prelife, if preflife really exists.

Tsangyang Gyatso said,

That day, when meditating amidst the mist of incense,
I suddenly heard your true words.

That month, I turned all gig prayer wheels,
Not to release my soul from purgatory, but to touch your fingertip.

That year, I prostratored myself and prayed on the mountains,
Not for pilgrimage, but for feeling your warmth.

That life, I walked across all the mountains, rivers, Buddhist temples,
Not for the afterlife, but to meet you again on the way.


So in this life I must have walked across myriad of rivers and thousands of hills, just to meet them on the way.

But they leave.

Perhaps everybody is alone. Come to this world along. Leave this world alone. Meet many people but part with them. The young are trapped by the net of lossing the friends or lovers, but the old will say: Time changes, and you can always move on, in this life.

Yes. The old are right, because when they were young, they experienced the same thing. Now they are old, their whole life has demonstrated that they can move on, in this life. So can the young.
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WX: The Vanishing Shaolin Monasteries & the Monks

Today MM and I walked across XX area and found that a monk was performing martial arts to make a living. As a martial-arts-novel lover, I stopped to watch… and then, as a-romantic-love-novel lover, MM dragged me out of the crowd, saying that how boring the perform was.

Well, the vanishing monks, the vanishing Shaolin Monasteries, and the vanishing martial arts.

Can’t explain Martial Arts in a western way. It is the essence of many great founders, put down from generation to generation, but later, it vanished in a large scale, for some reasons.

To see it as a way to keep healthy and to protect ourselves and help those in need is much better than to see it as a way to fight, though in ancient times, some people used it to fight, but the monks in the Shaolin monasteries used it to keep healthy, to keep the world in peace and help the poor.

Whenever somebody went to Shaolin monasteries to learn martial arts, the monks would tell them, before you learnt martial arts, you needed to learn how to be human. That is, to love, to care, to help, to give; but not to fight or fetch. That is, to be good, but not to be evil.

Those respectable monks must see through the world and life, so they could resist fame and gain and keep a peaceful mind. Perhaps they have known the essence of life and death, knowing that everything will turn to nothing. For happiness, it will turn to nothing, so cherish it when you are happy. For sadness, it will turn to nothing, so don’t be trapped and nagged by it when you are sad moping. For fame and gain, you can’t bring them when you die. You have nothing when you were born and you have nothing when you die. It is just a circle.

But as times fly by, martial arts become legends, monks are forgotten and make their living by performing, and monasteries turn out to be the scenic spots.

Yes, guns are more effective than martial arts, business men are more glorious then monks, skyscrapers are more modern than monasteries… People will say it is the Darwinian Theory. However, it is always a little sad to see that those good things, which used to shine upon our land as warm and beneficial as the sunshine, turn to nothing.

However, as the monks say, everything will turn to nothing. Perhaps hundreds of years ago, those great monks have already known---one day they would vanish. uh oh
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WX: His Parents

Last night we went to MM’s new home, to celebrate she and her boyfriend move to their own house. Yes, their own house. Her boyfriend is only 24 but is capable enough to afford his own house. Very expensive.

Since all of the rest still rent houses to live, we feel so happy to see that our friend can live at their own house. Wow MM is so lucky. Her boyfriend is young, handsome and capable. All the girls admire at her fortune.

But their house is those multiple, single apartments, which means that it only suits two adults, or a little baby. QQ asked whether her boyfriend’s parents would live with them. Her boyfriend shook his head and said no.

It didn’t surprise me very much. Nowadays people do not like to provide for their parents, and some people want to but they don’t have this ability.

The young people like to talk about their lovers. The middle-age people like to talk about their children. Who will talk about their parents. Before, in the old time, people were much poorer, but they cared about their parents very much. And the family was bigger, with 3 or 4 generations living together. Grand-grandparents, grandparents, parents, children. They respected and took care of the old and brought up the young. Now the family become smaller and smaller, as young people do not like to live with their parents. So their parents live alone with their own skinny shadow at the age of 80.

Some young people can not support their parents. A research shows that 80% of the 1980s generation can not support their parents due to the lower-and-lower salary, the higher-and-higher product cost and housing price. We feel that we are cheated by some liars. Most of our parents are farmers or workers who do not get much education. But when we were kids, they were told that education would give their kids a bright future. So no matter how harsh life was, they sent their children to schools, to universities to get better education, in the hope that their children could have a good future and could support them in return when they become old… Now the joke is, yes, we get better education, but we become the generation which can not support our parents.

Louis Cha defined his understanding about the parents-children relationship very well in his novel “Heavenly Sword and Dragon Saber”. Not only limit it to the parents Zhang Cuishan, Yin Susu and their son Zhang Wuji, but also expand it to the old teacher Zhang Sanfeng and his seven students. Zhang Sanfeng cares about his seven students like a father, and his seven students respect him. What move the readers is exactly this father-and-son-like emotion and friendship. I think it will make many people feel ashamed and guilty nowadays.

In the coming years, China will become very poor (though some westeners always exaggerate that China is rising.) If I will become a beggar in the future, I will beg whatever I can beg from whoever I can meet, for my parents. In the future, they will only become older and older, and finally, they become my own children who need my care, my support and my protection.

That is why some boys do not like those girls who care about her parents very much, as they consider her parents, even his own parents, as a heavy burden. sad uh oh
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WX: The Man Who Threatened to Kill Himself

Today a man stood on the 3rd floor, threatening to jump of the building to kill himself… People rushed to see this, journalists took photos, rescue men put up inflatable packers, waiters in the restaurants nearby dished out their leaflets…

We are on the 10th floor, so we could see the far scene by opening the window. Some colleagues went down to see. PP said: “He won’t jump. Or else why doesn’t he choose the 30th floor but the 3rd floor.”

Ivy said: “Yes, if he really wants to die, he would jump off immediately and secretly before everybody knows.”

I agreed. He wouldn’t jump. He threatened to kill himself, maybe for some reasons: his boss didn’t give him salary, he was fired by his manger, his wife left him… No matter what reason it is, one point is certain: he was a little famous at that time, with so many people taking photos and journalists reporting.

Nowadays it is very easy to become famous… As long as you dare act strangely, openly, “bravely”, crazily… or just talk a lot in an arrogant way which makes everybody criticize, then perhaps you can be famous. Internet and news media play an important role in it. Takes off your clothes and upload your photos on the internet, everybody click to see them… then you become famous… Act in a ridiculous way deliberately like a clown and the news media report you, everybody think it funny and know you, so you become famous… if you are beautiful or handsome, perhaps some film makers will contact you…

Why don’t journalists focus on some meaningful things, such as poor and harsh life, unfair cases and so on, but keep reporting such kinds of low-taste things, to fulfill people’s entertainment or curiosity. Such kinds of people can become famous, partly because they dare act or say in an abnormal way, partly because people want to know them out of entertainment or curiosity.

It is similar to the evil martial arts and right martial arts. In the martial art world, there are some evil martial arts and right martial arts. Right martial arts need people to learn them step by step for many years, but it does no harm to people’s life. Evil martial arts can allow people to master the superior martial arts in a convenient way, but it is evil and harmful… Some people who want to master the superior martial arts to conquer the whole China will choose to learn evil martial arts… though they can learn them in a short time, however, they will fail when they meet some who learn the right martial arts for Many Many years and who learn it for justice, health and peace, but not for conquer, battle and fame.

That is the same. Today the world changes quickly. Not many people have patience. Everybody wants fame and gain overnight. After all, youth is short. Since not everybody can have the real talent or perseverance, so they choose some weird ways, which allow them to be famous overnight.

But it is just like the shooting star, comes quickly, and disappers quickly. Time will tell.
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