Vanity Fair and City I (16)

Danger is everywhere while fear is universal and eternal.

It is said that there are nine horrible experiences in one’s life. They are something supernatural or even something related to Fengshui. When I read these nine horrible experiences, I was surprised to find that I had experienced some of them.

For the first time I felt scared when I waked up at midnight and thought of these supernatural phenomenon. Maybe I should live with my friend. Then next day Melanie called me and said that in the next few days she would live with me until she went back GZ.

“Why?” I asked.

“I broken up with him.” Said Melanie. Of course “him” was her manager boyfriend. “And I told him that I had never loved him. I stayed with him just because I need his money and his power.”

“Oh you cruel girl!”

Then I met her manager boyfriend or, to be exactly, her ex-manager boyfriend, in the street next day. I didn’t know what to say. He might feel my embarrassment and comforted me with his sunny smile. “Don’t worry. I am ok. I have known what kind of girl she is at the first day I met her. Actually I don’t feel very sad. After all it is just a game. Too many people play such kinds of game and they don’t feel really sad in deed…”

So I trusted what he said. And we said goodbye. He turned back and walked ahead and I looked at his back. Maybe both of them thought it was just a game and played. It is not a bad thing for both of them.

But, suddenly, “Stop” hadn’t sprung out from my mouth, and then I saw that he stepped into the main road where buses, taxis and cars were rushing like the flood.

He was hit by a taxi… Still lying in the hospital now, but thank goodness he didn’t get too much hurt.

And I guess, when he told me he didn’t feel very sad, his told a lie. At that time, his brain must be thinking of those sad things and his heart must be bleeding so he didn’t notice that he had stepped into a busy road and went near to the danger. Sometimes we need to wear a mask to hide our true faces; for fear that those who have hurt us deeply know that we are hurt. Sometimes we need to pretend to be strong, pretend that nothing can really hurt us, just for fear that we may expose our weakness to those who have hurt our dignity.

We can lose everything, but we can’t lose dignity. In a world where people use and are used, cheat and are cheated, we keep hurting each other. Our dignity may have been ravaged by insults from certain people, but we can always pick it up and go ahead.

And never look back.