SAM..HOW DO I TELL YOU..

I sit at the end of the dinner table..I listen to you laugh, I see you smile..I know that you are happy..every day you are become stronger..and im really proud of you..

I sit in the quiet of the night, in my own thoughts..you start to talk, I try to listen, and drift back into my own thoughts..

Could it be Sam, that you are stronger than me...in body, mind and soul in this moment in time?

I have goals, I have dreams..and a wish list..there are many rivers in my life that flow in the correct direction..but another..that DOESNT...I crave to know what is ahead for me..I long to find what im looking for..and yet..I believe that I FOUND IT..so AFRAID TO STAND UP AND CLAIM WHAT I KNOW IS RIGHT, FEELS RIGHT..I WANT IT WITH ALL MY BODY MIND AND SOUL..and yet..its that first step into the unknown AGAIN...

Sam, how do I share what im feeling with you..when its a dream..I want to make it real..I just dont know how..

Its that "distraction" Sam.. and yet hes..NOT a distraction anymore girl..hes real..alive..makes me HAPPY..and I dont know from here onwards Sam..I always tell you that God has a Master plan for all of us..but what could it be for me???

In time I will talk to you, but for now Sam, I need to work through this one..I know that only in time...will I know in what direction will that river flow...

Im so so so so proud of you Sam, know that in my own time of thoughts and questions of my own..I am, and will always be here for you...

xxx