Change in the House of Flies
I step into this New Year alone and clueless about myself. I'm a very open person that can normally talk about anything, but I dare not touch on the root of the subject. I read a forum post about a week ago that said we can create who we want to be. Though I didn't agree with it at the time, everyone else seemed to think it was 100% possible. Can someone who's generally anti-social force themself to like being around people? Can a child molester force themself to not like children anymore? I apologize if that offends anyone, but those are the two best examples I could come up with of personal desires (not mine) that seem almost impossible to just up and change of someone's own free will.I am told and have read that changing yourself is all a matter of getting into certain habits of how you want to be. I'm curious how long it takes for those habits to become a part of your natural personality. I know, just as well as many others, that at first it's a struggle. Your body and mind rebells. And you'll only change if you truly 100% want to. But what do you do if you don't want to change? I enjoy my life and how I am but it's not looked upon favorably by most of society and it's definitly not healthy for me or certain involved parties. I'm not changing because I want to . . . but because I have to. I suppose a good example would be . . . like an alcoholic who craves booze but everytime they get drunk they end up hurting themself or someone else. I simply can't go on living like that. And when I step away from the situation, though I don't loathe myself as much as I once thought I did, I still don't like the person I am. I suppose it doesn't matter though. I'm rather convinced that I'll end up destroying myself in the end. Then the person I was and who I could have been won't matter anymore.
Comments (4)
Give yourself a break you desever it., been there. IF you at the bottom you can stay there or the hard one , see the beauty in yourself and decide TO GET OFF YOUR BUTT.Will you slip again yes but get back up. No one told us its easy, you may surpize your self, take at your pace but try enjoy the ride, laught at your self do not take so serious. You are beautifull GO FOR IT, WHAT EVERY IT IS
Too...get rid of the rebellious garb... ditch the body piercings. Get down with being real and not some decorated spectacle... learn to love yourself so others can love you too. Only you can take down that curtain that divides you from the rest of the world.
can a person change? the anwser is YES, you most want to change or at least know that you need to change.
it is said that there is a good person in every one, we just need to look inside and find it.
slowly and a little bit at a time, working with what ever we have here now today.
we will not find the answer by looking in the past, it is only here and now that we can start and it is only us that can do it.
every thing we do/say starts in the mind, if we think bad things we may end up doing bad things, likewise if we think good things we will end up doing good things.
if we are told every day that we are bad, in time we will believe it.
you say that you are alone and clueless... is that true are you alone??? you are not clueless you have a clue that your life is not going well at this time,and that you need to change it, is that not the first step in putting things right?
it may be hard but it is worth and so are you.
take care co's i care
tiny
Just do something else that you like doing instead of the bad thing. If you don't like doing anything else, then try a new thing every day, if you don't like it, at least you only have to do it one day right? You might find something you like a whole lot better, in any case, least your not doing the thing you wanted to avoid.