What if u crash & burn ... again?
R relationships worth the risk?R U ready to travel down that road of sacrifice/compromise & tolerance ... again?
And what about YOUR freedom?
All those choices you freely make for yourself now, taken away from you?
Ask yourself what do I really want for my life?
Still chasing that happily ever after fairy tale?
Sure it's possible, but the odds are slim. Statistics speak for themselves.
Me, personally, I'd rather just have guys as friends.
Friends don't leave wet towels on the bathroom floor ...
Or bread crumbs all over the kitchen bench ...
OR take you to court & leave you in financial ruin, when everything turns to crap.
AND thems the harsh realities of life.
Relationship? No thanks. Friendship? Yep.
For me, it's a no brainer.
Comments (15)
GOOD FOR U! I APPLAUD YOUR DETERMINATION!
The day goes by and you drop a note... morning meeting is over, time to do some real work! ... in the afternoon... no dinner plans... won't know when I'll be done until I'm done --- and they reply with acceptance and understanding, not with expectations or with guilt. Look after things and we'll see each other later. No need to call, if it gets too late I'll call you. All is well.
We're at home together in the evening. Doesn't matter who cooked or who didn't. Doesn't matter if one feels like reading a book and the other is going to listen to music while walking on the treadmill. Doesn't matter. Heading to bed soon? Not yet... meet you there. One gets to the bed and falls asleep... the other arrives a little later... clean from the shower... the first rolls over --- "hey, good to see you" (with a smile) ... and they snuggle a bit before both find sleep again.
In the morning, a new day starts in a similar way... each takes care of themselves... offers to stop at the market... and meet back home at the end... paths cross and interlink but no guilt, no conflict, no manipulation... not getting what you want? ... just ask ... we'll talk ... we'll work it in in a way that fits.
I see this as possible... just need to find the right person who also sees life this way.
Jodi --- There's a continuum of compromise, guilt, expectations and control. I've had experience on the same line as yours but not nearly as intense. My wounds weren't as (emotionally) deep so it's easier for me to be optimistic. I'd like to think your fears will diminish over time... they likely will... and your choices may remain the same... this is as it should be... they're your choices, after-all.
So one of the challenges you face is that men will act nice, friendly, courteous... they will put effort into themselves that is not normal and natural (or sustainable). Many will feel they need to impress you.
With my ex (to-be) ... that was part of the challenge ... she wanted/needed the relationship and behaved more accepting and patient than she really is. She maintained this act until we were married (we lived together for 4 years). After the legal hooks were in it started to unravel... inch by inch.
I won't go through it all but that's the trap ... that when life becomes all normal and routine, you'll find who the real (authentic) person is.
So --- From me --- no acts --- real and authentic from the beginning. I'll be nice and patient... because I am nice and patient. I've put the work in on me so what you see 'is' me. I'm hoping I'll find 'the one' who has arrived at a similar place in life.
And if you all weren't so darn attractive, men wouldn't try to impress you so much!
Good luck with your friends, your prince, and the journey... and, thanks for sharing your journeys