Finding "The One"...

" Here’s the point: We want to believe in the idea of “The One.” Human beings crave this idea. One of the reasons I believe we crave it is because we like simplicity. We don’t like the idea that many people could be “The One.” We like the idea that there’s one person out there that’s right for us. It’s what movies have taught us, it’s what books have taught us, and it seems neat and tidy, because if there’s just one person out there then we can just keep searching for that one person who we’re supposed to be perfect with. All we have to do is sit back and wait for “The One” to arrive, and when they do we’ll just “know” it.

What happens when you’re in a relationship and “The One” cheats on you?

What happens when you’re in a relationship and “The One” starts disrespecting you or treating you badly?

There are two schools of thought on this. One person would say, “stick around because they’re ‘The One.’ You have to fight it out and make it work because they’re ‘The One.’” Which, of course, is a recipe for living your life with someone who doesn’t meet your standards.

The other person would say “No, leave, because that means he’s NOT ‘The One.’ Leave because ‘The One’ is still out there.” This attitude is what leads to chronic relationship hopping. It’s what leads people to consistently leave relationships when they find out their partner is not perfect and passionate every single day.

Part of the problem is we live in this incredibly entitled society. We have this entitlement culture where we’re led to believe that we’re supposed to just find “The One” and it will be amazing. The truth is, we’re not entitled to something, but we do have the opportunity to create something.

I believe that the idea of love at first sight is the most unromantic idea there is. If we believe that “The One” comes ready-made, we know we don’t really have to work on a relationship. This person comes to us, ready for us. I think that’s an abhorrent concept. The idea I can look at someone across the room and feel that they’re just “right” for me when they’ve done nothing for me – what an insult to a marriage of 50 years. What makes a person special is not that they are some magically appointed “One,” but how much they’ve invested in you, and what you’ve built together over time.

The idea of love at first sight is an insult to long-term relationships where people have actually built something through effort and hard work. That, to me, is what’s romantic – when people stick around for each other, when people look after each other, when they’re a genuine team. I think what’s romantic is when someone builds a relationship.

An amazing relationship is built, not found. We have the ability to create opportunity. Someone could break up with us and we have the ability to do it again. Our partner could pass away and we have the ability to go out there and find happiness again. One of the most redeeming parts of love is that it’s possible to find love again if we should need to.



By the way, does this mean that everybody could be right for us? No.There’s still a percentage of people that we could make it work with, and that may be a small percentage, but it’s a lot better as odds than finding “The One.” "
Matt Hussey.

So... have hope. There are many, many men(woman) who are right for you.