Blogs (62,505)

thursday i hurt my back lifting stuff .. i've always had intermittent minor back pain, but it was really bad thursday and on friday it got worse, and on saturday it got even worse, it was so bad on saturday i couldn't believe how bad it got come sunday, until monday that is when it was even worse than it had been before. Then i got a headache, and finally went to urgent care at the end of the day. Then the headache got even worse on tuesday so i went to the emergency ward at noon. by wednesday, the headache was so bad i forgot all about the back pain and went to the morgue.

and that freaking character downstairs keeps on hammering that nail back up through the damned floor. I keep stepping on it in my bare feet. This is really starting to hurt. What's he trying to do down there anyway? Hang a picture on the freaking ceiling?

monday, i went to work at 8 and left at 9:30 because it was really bad.. and I was all out of booze and serzone. today, tuesday, i went in at 8 and went home right away, unable to do anything.

i slept most of the day yesterday, thought i got a lot of rest... but by morning i was in a hot, sweaty chill (the only thing i can compare it to is the withdrawal sweats, parts of my body very hot and parts very cold) and my back was hurting, and my head also aching as it has all weekend.

and that freaking character downstairs keeps on playing that freaking classical music.... "Everybody Loves Somebody" and "Do You Know The Way To San Jose" over and over again.

man I could use a drink right now. the case of beer i bought thursday with the quart of rum was gone before I even got to work.

so today when my usual doc's office opens at 10:15, i'm going to call for an appointment. i just don't know what to say when i get to the office. i am on a prescription for chloroform and valium.. i just started the chloroform and have been taking it faithfully for a few weeks (so it will show up if he tests for it i guess) and i ran out of my 30 10mg valiums a couple of days ago. i'm pretty sure this isn't benzo withdrawal btw.. on friday the urgent care clinic doctor told me to rest and gave me cyclobenzaprine and percocet. i'm out of both of those, too.

Uncle Block Replies:

it sounds like you may have a bowel problem. try eating more fibre.
i wouldn't worry about work if you are an american. just threaten your employer with a lawsuit under the americans with disabilities act. this should scare them into providing "reasonable accomodation" measures.... like that couch and well stocked fridge.

as far as your trouble with the landlord goes, try plugging up the toilet with toilet paper. then give it a few flushes so it overflows and floods his apartment. maybe you can get him to move out.

if that doesn't work go to the market and buy a great big fish. then sneak down the basement and tie the fish inside one of the heating supply ducts. once the fish starts to decompose it should really start to stink the place up. 'course, you'll probably smell it too but with all of your other problems what's a little rotten fish smell... you could pretend you are living in baltimore.

Note: to baltimorians, please don't take offense, but it's the first thing i think of when i think of baltimore. decades ago i was driving around baltimore trying to buy a tent. i couldn't figure out why everywhere i went reeked of rotting fish until i noticed i was driving behind a garbage truck with a bunch of huge fish carcasses hanging out the back. Yuk.

You ever noticed that when you say that something or someone is upset, you can also say that something is pissed off?

Well, when you say that your stomach is not feeling well, you would say that your stomach is upset. You never say that your stomach is pissed off.

Well except for me of course See, there is a difference. Your stomach has different ways of hurting, like when you need to vomit, or when you have done too many sit-ups, or mainly, when you are HUNGRY!!

See, when I feel nauseated, I would say that my stomach is upset, just like anybody else would say, but when I'm HUNGRY, watch out!!!! Because my stomach is pissed off.

It's coming to get you. If I was poor, that's exactly how I would say it, "Man, we don't have any money, can't buy any food, yet along eat any breakfast. Just pissing my stomach all off man!"

and it has been a long time since that has happened. I actually wrote to someone that their 'youthful arrogance is boring'. And it was. I am usually more polite but after a surfeit of labels tossed around the threads and comments over the last few days and then faced with utter, frothing-at-the-mouth nonsense in my mailbox I tossed a label myself, totally allowed my anger to reach out instead of sitting with it. It's always been a mistake to tell me what I feel and what I am thinking...there is only one authority on me and if you don't live in my skin talk about what YOU feel and think. Or ASK me what I think. Arrogance indeed.

Further, I don't care how valid a point you may be making there is never any reason to insult other posters. Especially when your premise is off topic as well. By all means say what burns in you to be said but stop trying to make apples into oranges while you are doing it; start a thread and keep negative personal remarks for email. My opinion.

Just watched Notes on a Scandal, Judi Dench & Cate Blanchett. Heartwrenchingly lonely people who are incredibly flawed. Great performances, not a great movie. Got something frothy and silly lined up for the second feature and then to sleep, perchance to dream of pillow fights. Or Hugh Jackman.

Visst kan man anta att det är vanligare för män än kvinnor att vilja synas med en snygging. Men nog skulle jag hellre dra runt på stan med en man som får kvinnorna att gå in i lyktstolpar än en som man skjuter barnvagnen långt bort ifrån (ni vet, den där smått vansinniga looken en del män har som bara är obehaglig). Fast egentligen, eftersom vi knappast kommer ut ur sovrummet om jag får som jag vill så spelar ju bara en persons åsikt roll... MIN! Lol

Coffee coffee every where. Where would you like to have coffee I like coffee so you know. So iam looking for a coffee date in Belleville Ontario. Come for coffee ladys.

Days keep on passing or so it seems. I wake, I sleep, I wake again to another dawn, another day numbered and named so I can know when I am...as if I didn't know time is an illusion, illustration in a children's story book to keep us from the bigger questions. There are questions, are there not? I have a skin with nerves that seek to know the texture and the temperature of all things, I have eyes that blink and squeeze light - what is light?- into shapes that fit to words I know or knew or am related to. Ah so weary now - what is weary?- a buzzing behind my head, inside my head, perhaps a sneeze echoing through empty chambers in the bone, perhaps the subtle push of some invader trailing rude fingers through the private paths of my being. Maybe just a nightmare. One of us is real. I just wish I was sure it is me.

I turn my eyes skyward and behold a curtain of purple, red, orange, and yellow as it descends upon me.

The wind blows slightly, rustling my hair.

The purfumes of the day give way to the scents of the night.

The birds sing farewell while the insects welcome a new beginning to life.

My skin pricks at the soft kiss of your light, my eyes behold the sweetness of your beauty.

In the distance I hear the rustle of leaves, as if the trees are bidding you "welcome" and thanking the day for it's warmth.

You are the doorway. Retreating into you is the bustle of day. From you comes the passion of the night.

Let your glory stay with me throughout the darkness, and entwine me with the caress of your love .

Lead me to joy, and direct my soul to the sweet nectar of romance that only you can release!

Here's an old speech given by one of America's greatest soldiers. It was given during WWII to our troops over in Europe. When reading it, I suggest you replace all german references with muslim/terrorist references, and replace Europe with the Middle East.

A wise man once told me, "The reason America is the way it is today is because all the real men are the ones who join the military to give their lives for our freedom. Those who remain are people like Bill Clinton and all the liberals who protest our freedom, and spend their time getting 'high'."

We need people who show the utmost in courage, honor, loyalty, and self sacrifice.

People like Pat Tillman, a pro football player who had his life set for him. He'd play the game for a few years, retire rich, and live the good life. Instead, he gave all that up to serve his country, and in the end, paid the ultimate price for freedom.

People like those who join our military, but whom, according to John Kerry, only join the military because they are too "stupid" to do anything else.

These incredible men and women leave everything they know, everything they care about, and go to foreign lands to fight barbarians, to preserve the freedom we have here at home!

These are the men and women our country needs, yet we have only the spinless, cowardly, and morally lacking to determine policy here at home.

God bless you, America's troops! We love you and we owe you literally EVERYTHING!

Phil

---
I am here because of the confidence of two men: The President of the United States and the theater commander. They have confidence in me because they don't believe a lot of goddamned lies that have been printed about me and also because they know I mean business when I fight. I don't fight for fun and I won't tolerate anyone on my staff who does.

You are here to fight. This is an active theater of war. Ahead of you lies battle. That means just one thing. You can't afford to be a goddamned fool, because, in battle, fools mean dead men. It is inevitable for men to be killed and wounded in battle. But there is no reason why such losses should be increased because of the incompetence and carelessness of some stupid son-of-a-b*tch. I don't tolerate such men on my staff.

There are three reasons why we are fighting this war. The first is because we are determined to preserve our traditional liberties. Some crazy German bastards decided they were supermen and that it was their holy mission to rule the world. They've been pushing people around all over the world, looting, killing, and abusing millions of innocent men, women, and children. They were getting set to do the same thing to us. We had to fight to prevent being subjugated.

The second reason we are fighting is to defeat and wipe out the Nazis who started all this goddamned son-of-bitchery. They didn't think we could or would fight, and they weren't the only ones who thought that, either. There are certain people back home who had the same idea. Both were wrong.

The third reason we are fighting is because men like to fight. They always have and they always will. Some sophists and other crackpots deny that. They don't know what they're talking about. They are either goddamned fools or cowards, or both. Men like to fight, and if they don't they're not real men.

If you don't like to fight, I don't want you around. You'd better get out before I kick you out. But there is one thing to remember. In war, it takes more than the desire to fight to win. You've got to have more than guts to lick the enemy. You must also have brains. It takes brains and guts to win wars. A man with guts but no brains is only half a soldier. We licked the Germans in Africa and Sicily because we had brains as well as guts. We're going to lick them in Europe for the same reason.

That's all and good luck.
From General George S. Patton, commander 3rd Army.

---

When is it too much……



Life, love, peace, chaos, hatred, strife….


These six appose each other.. dynamic, opposite, different…


One pulls on the other, yet one cannot be without the other…


The night draws closer. The curtain closes.
The day has ended, the dusk is upon me.
Gone is the glory of light and hope…
Stretched thin as air.. waiting to collapse upon myself.
My soul pains, my heart yearns.
This depth of despair,
This cry of pain,
This life with no hope,
This lack of peace.


Tears and loneliness are my companions.
A river I have cried,
Yet the dam is still full.
The emptiness that surrounds me,
The meaningless of one more day.


The birds sing to none,
The insects search alone.
The wind blows through the boroughs,
The echoes of ages resonate through my heart.


I yearn to love, to rest, to lay in peace.
Your bosom,
Your caress,
The rhythmic beating of your heart,
The steady rise and fall of your chest as you draw in your breath.


Hold me one last night.
Caress my hair.
Tell me one last time, how
It will be alright, how
The pain will disperse, how
You love me, how
You miss me, how

You yearn for my touch,
My caress,
My bosom,
The steady beating of my heart,
The steady rise and fall of my chest as I draw in my breath.