TOO MUCH INFORMATION -- How much should you reveal? ( Archived) (65)

How much are you entitled to ask of someone?

Here is a cut and paste of an email I received tonight from someone I met on another site.

"Hi that was a very unemotional email, openended and well in need of some more information. I look forward to hearing from you. Is the possiability there will be a call tonight on the horizon??

How is the weather?"

I wrote back exactly this:

"Yes you ARE perceptive. Please understand that
tonight, since last Monday 3:00 am I feel as if I am
going through a divorce. I am having a painful
experience because of circumstances I cannot control.
It will go away, and I WILL be fine.

I apologize for seeming cold in my last email, but you could look at
the brighter side:

I emailed you from here and not the website

I practically told you where I live

I also told you about my past, where I grew up

A sort of committment for a future meeting

You know lots about me from just that email, and I
gave you a lot of emotional feedback. As well as
honesty, that I was not ready to phone you yet.

I can't call now, it's almost 11pm.
What kind of more information would you like to know?
I'll either tell the truth or quite honestly tell you
that I am not ready to tell you yet.

I am in a fragile state right now.

February 19 was your first contact with me.
I told you I was involved, that same day.

April 16 again you pursued me.
April 17 I told you no.

June 20 third attempt to pursue me.
June 26 I replied

Now it is June 28 and you are finally getting very
personal responses from me. What more can I do?
Persistence is one thing, not necessarily good, but
pushiness is something can't and won't take.

Being openended is just your opinion. Now I must
wonder if I have told you too much about myself,
including my state of mind. That was not an unemotional email,
and I have a perfect right to be openended. I don't even know you."

END

In the beginning emails, I hate when they put two or more ?? question marks at the end of a question. It is like demanding an answer.

GRRRRR IS it just me?

I'm gonna get bashed.

Bashing, NOT. You are a very classy and eloquent woman. The few mails that I have received from you were honest,warm and direct. No need to explain yourself and your communications with others. You're class. Paws

Thanks Paws, I shouldn't need validation.

It is something such as that which will cause me to abruptly discontinue communications, even if my first preferences are met, location and nonsmoker.

This is part of that process of learning if you even want to meet a particular person. That is why I wonder how much information should be revealed and when.

u done nothin wrong but say how u feel.Good for u Susierr.Iam behind u,kathy

That person wanted way too much from you. I think you handled it perfectly. You could have been hurt much worse if you told him more. It is completely up to you on these sites. They even warn you in the beginning not to give out too much info too soon. You did good!!

I've never ventured outside of the forum. If you read all my threads, you'll see that I've offered everything about myself. I'm an open book and there for the reading. It saves a lot of time. I'm just human. Nothing to hide nor different from anyone else. Paws

open and honest is my motto...i have nothing to hide either Leo...if someone doesnt like me for me, then cool...gives me more time to spend with people that do.

im with all the rest there is nothing wrong with expressing anything shows honesty and trust and that makes u who u are ur doing well

My old blue rinse Granny used to say "Speak the truth and shame the devil"

No bashing from me either ...
Well said!