re:adivce for a freind..help (37)
hot_chickLondon, Greater London, England UK4 Threads 8 PostsHi all just wondering if anyone can help me my freind has been chatting over net to this turkish guy thy are bot the same age 25 n she thinks she in love with him they talk every day n night n text each other lot but i think he may be after a visa wot do u think i mean do u think like 99% turksih guys are just after visas? she said he never asked her for money or anything. wot do u guys thinks he wants her to go visit him in turksy he pay for it n everything. they have seen each other on webcam anyone that has turksih bf;s n it worked out? help...
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I don't think any generalizations about people would be helpful for this couple. They needs to work out what is right or wrong for them. My only suggestion is simply to say; if something doesn't feel right, go with your gut instincts.
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It may be wiser if she pays for him to visit her. It's not a matter of his nationality, I think she should stick closer to family and friends till she gets to know him better. Others have fallen in love on the internet befor, who knows. Best of luck to your friend.
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mazzd03: It may be wiser if she pays for him to visit her. It's not a matter of his nationality, I think she should stick closer to family and friends till she gets to know him better. Others have fallen in love on the internet befor, who knows. Best of luck to your friend.
I think he should visit her, but why should she be the one to pay for his fare? After he arrives, yes, she should help make his stay enjoyable, but to lay out the cash for everything???? (nice vacation)
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Tell her to take her burly bro if she has one or take her mother with her
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I don't think that he is looking for a VISA. I have been to Turkey myself. There is absolutely no reason for him to move over to UK.
The weather in Turkey is much better and the shopping malls there a great too. Maybe he just wants to show off with his british friend.
The only strange thing I can see is that he wants to pay for everything. That would bother me.
Why don't you fly with her to Turkey.
The weather in Turkey is much better and the shopping malls there a great too. Maybe he just wants to show off with his british friend.
The only strange thing I can see is that he wants to pay for everything. That would bother me.
Why don't you fly with her to Turkey.
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if your friend´s Turish boyfriend want a vista ,he will need , A .a vista for 3 or 6 mths to the UK (holiday vista ,)B .address where he will be staying & a name who is putting him up !!!, C .Money ,the passport controll will ask him to show how much CASH he has with him so he can pay his way ,
i know of a lot of Turks that TRY to enter the UK , with the 1st holiday vista & never leave ,,
IF he does not leave after the 3 /6 mths the person who he names with a address will be in lots of trouble with the passport & customs !!!!
from my experience (i work for a german airport )!!
tell your friend ,be careful ,
if he /the turkiy guy) id trueful ,he will not need her address & name for a guarnentee!!!
i know of a lot of Turks that TRY to enter the UK , with the 1st holiday vista & never leave ,,
IF he does not leave after the 3 /6 mths the person who he names with a address will be in lots of trouble with the passport & customs !!!!
from my experience (i work for a german airport )!!
tell your friend ,be careful ,
if he /the turkiy guy) id trueful ,he will not need her address & name for a guarnentee!!!
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mazzd03: In thinking of her safty, I was trying to imply that paying for his visit would be well worth every penny.
Oh, I agree with that...but I think she should let him pay for his own visit. After all, he's willing to pay for her to go see him, so why not have him pay to come see her instead?
And I agree with the above posts about taking someone with her if she goes there...though not another young female. A male relative or older female one would be appropriate. He should certainly understand the concept of a chaperone, and I'd suggest she have one for this first visit.
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hot_chick: Hi all just wondering if anyone can help me my freind has been chatting over net to this turkish guy thy are bot the same age 25 n she thinks she in love with him they talk every day n night n text each other lot but i think he may be after a visa wot do u think i mean do u think like 99% turksih guys are just after visas? she said he never asked her for money or anything. wot do u guys thinks he wants her to go visit him in turksy he pay for it n everything. they have seen each other on webcam anyone that has turksih bf;s n it worked out? help...
Please tread lightly here. I thought, when my wife left me for a man in India, that he was only after a green card. I was wrong. I believe he truly loves her and now they have my blessing. Not all potential lovers are after the "green card" Some do want to come to America, but some just like western women and some just happen to fall for a woman outside of their culture and land mass. They are happy together and while I thought he was only interested in coming to this country...I realize now that he truly loves her and they are happy.
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bradlee: Please tread lightly here. I thought, when my wife left me for a man in India, that he was only after a green card. I was wrong. I believe he truly loves her and now they have my blessing. Not all potential lovers are after the "green card" Some do want to come to America, but some just like western women and some just happen to fall for a woman outside of their culture and land mass. They are happy together and while I thought he was only interested in coming to this country...I realize now that he truly loves her and they are happy.
So very True.
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I was reading all ur comment there thank you for the adivce but one question why does it seem stragne that he wants to pay things for her? also the guy that wors at the airport can he come over for visit without her giving her name address?
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hot_chick: Hi all just wondering if anyone can help me my freind has been chatting over net to this turkish guy thy are bot the same age 25 n she thinks she in love with him they talk every day n night n text each other lot but i think he may be after a visa wot do u think i mean do u think like 99% turksih guys are just after visas? she said he never asked her for money or anything. wot do u guys thinks he wants her to go visit him in turksy he pay for it n everything. they have seen each other on webcam anyone that has turksih bf;s n it worked out? help...
I read this through parted fingers. Is it safe to come in?
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It would seem to me very unwise of her to fly to Turkey alone.
She doesn't speak the local language, does most likely not have any cultural understanding or specific background on that country...and she is in love...a dangerously blinding mixture.
His offer to pay for her trip should alert her !
She doesn't speak the local language, does most likely not have any cultural understanding or specific background on that country...and she is in love...a dangerously blinding mixture.
His offer to pay for her trip should alert her !
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charlos: It would seem to me very unwise of her to fly to Turkey alone.
She doesn't speak the local language, does most likely not have any cultural understanding or specific background on that country...and she is in love...a dangerously blinding mixture.
His offer to pay for her trip should alert her !
She doesn't speak the local language, does most likely not have any cultural understanding or specific background on that country...and she is in love...a dangerously blinding mixture.
His offer to pay for her trip should alert her !
I completely agree. She should be very careful! She could end up never being seen again! It has happened!
Let him come to see her.
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Some poor guys just can't win, can they?
If he offers to pay, he is dodgy, if he asks for money he is dodgy...
Look folks, I climbed on a plane, three countries North of my resident country.
To meet a stranger and hell, I made it out of there alive. So that I could go back again and again and sod it, again.
What she could do, is take him up on his offer, book a hotel, make sure she has a financial vehicle, so that if she does run into any difficulties she can get home.
Turkish people do have relationships, are not all after visas, also nice people.
Good lord.
If he offers to pay, he is dodgy, if he asks for money he is dodgy...
Look folks, I climbed on a plane, three countries North of my resident country.
To meet a stranger and hell, I made it out of there alive. So that I could go back again and again and sod it, again.
What she could do, is take him up on his offer, book a hotel, make sure she has a financial vehicle, so that if she does run into any difficulties she can get home.
Turkish people do have relationships, are not all after visas, also nice people.
Good lord.
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Sommerauer71: Some poor guys just can't win, can they?
If he offers to pay, he is dodgy, if he asks for money he is dodgy...
Look folks, I climbed on a plane, three countries North of my resident country.
To meet a stranger and hell, I made it out of there alive. So that I could go back again and again and sod it, again.
What she could do, is take him up on his offer, book a hotel, make sure she has a financial vehicle, so that if she does run into any difficulties she can get home.
Turkish people do have relationships, are not all after visas, also nice people.
Good lord.
So very True
If he offers to pay, he is dodgy, if he asks for money he is dodgy...
Look folks, I climbed on a plane, three countries North of my resident country.
To meet a stranger and hell, I made it out of there alive. So that I could go back again and again and sod it, again.
What she could do, is take him up on his offer, book a hotel, make sure she has a financial vehicle, so that if she does run into any difficulties she can get home.
Turkish people do have relationships, are not all after visas, also nice people.
Good lord.
So very True
You do offer good advice Sommer. I think most of us here were going b/c of her youth. That is the angle I formed my post earlier on.
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Sommerauer71: ...Turkish people do have relationships, are not all after visas, also nice people.
Good lord.
Good lord.
Just read the latest crime statistics on Turkey.
Of course, bad things can happen anywhere, but in a situation as described above the odds are against her.
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CjTenorSax: You do offer good advice Sommer. I think most of us here were going b/c of her youth. That is the angle I formed my post earlier on.
Hi CJ.
I do find myself becoming exasperated, when these things are mentioned.
I flew to another country when I was 14, alone.
My own children have flown without their father or me with a chaperone to the other side of the world. They are safe, as I am.
I have lived in a very delicate area, the Middle East, my children too.
Yes, I am older now, but sometimes, if we let fear stand in our way, then we would never do anything.
If this young lady cannot afford to travel and relys solely on what he is saying, his offer of financial aid, alone and hopes that somehow, if she runs into difficulty then she will magically get home, then that would be a mistake.
If she can afford to go, is aware of her own safety and takes the measures to protect herself, then she will and should be fine.
I mention booking into a hotel, this way she will be protecting herself, if she at all feels uncomfortable with anything she finds when she arrives. Turkey is a holiday destination for many people, if it doesn't work out, then she could have a damn fine holiday and she should take some books.
We are responsible for our own safety, I would never rely on another person who I did not know to ensure that. If he pays her flight, is a good man, then he will be aware that she may be nervous and will ensure that her mind is at rest.
I personally would not accept any financial help from any person, to travel.
Or anything for that matter. I wanted to travel to meet the man, that was at my own behest. But if he wants to meet her and he is kindly offering to pay for that, then she can take him up on his offer, that will be the starting point for any trust that may well be built.
Hope you're well my dear.
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charlos: Just read the latest crime statistics on Turkey.
Of course, bad things can happen anywhere, but in a situation as described above the odds are against her.
Of course, bad things can happen anywhere, but in a situation as described above the odds are against her.
I have read the latest crime stats on the USA.
It does not stop me travelling there to see my son, who has recently moved there.
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I think the whole conversation is way taken to the extremes here.
Since " the girl" seem so confused about what she would do, it's obvious she's not used to traveling, so she'd be better off at home, a long distance relationship is not her best option.
In reality, I think everybody's being way too harsh on the guy.
Come on , people! The guy offered to pay for her trip! he is acting like a man!
For those that don't need a visa to travel to UK, you have no idea what an ordeal is to get a visa and how uncomfortable the application process is, you need to have an invitation and the person who does that needs to send bank account records and vouch for you!
Unless there's a high confidence relation, that is not something lots of people would do.
So, if I would be in this guy's shows, I wouldn't ask a girl to invite him to UK, even if he would pay for it. Instead, I would invite her to Turkey, where she can get freely, without a visa.
And in case you forgot, Turkey is not wild , wild west!
Once there, she needs to be smart and independent,book her own hotel and take it small steps, see if she really likes him or not!
But really.....
Since " the girl" seem so confused about what she would do, it's obvious she's not used to traveling, so she'd be better off at home, a long distance relationship is not her best option.
In reality, I think everybody's being way too harsh on the guy.
Come on , people! The guy offered to pay for her trip! he is acting like a man!
For those that don't need a visa to travel to UK, you have no idea what an ordeal is to get a visa and how uncomfortable the application process is, you need to have an invitation and the person who does that needs to send bank account records and vouch for you!
Unless there's a high confidence relation, that is not something lots of people would do.
So, if I would be in this guy's shows, I wouldn't ask a girl to invite him to UK, even if he would pay for it. Instead, I would invite her to Turkey, where she can get freely, without a visa.
And in case you forgot, Turkey is not wild , wild west!
Once there, she needs to be smart and independent,book her own hotel and take it small steps, see if she really likes him or not!
But really.....
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