Dating a married man/woman (65)
Dmire: These are the feelings am reffering to as emotions.The question is...Should a guy follow the emotion or conscience?Can you remember when you were dating before you got married how the same man was close to you?
I do remember, I married him. Because I wanted to nad I loved him.
Shold he follow his conscience? He followed his feelings.
I didn't want him because of his conscience, I wanted him becase I loved him and I wanted him to love me, he did at the beginning. Then he fell in love with another. Like JLB, I do not want him or any man if they are with me because they are committed.
If a man does not want me, wild horses are not going to keep him with me, no matter how much it hurts me.
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Dmire: Exactly Sommer.If i am married man and fall in love with another woman, after sometime its likely i will fall with a third one in future, and the cycle will keep repeated every time i get tired of latest catch
That is what often does happen in these cases, Dmire. Exactly.------ This thread is Archived ------
Sommerauer71: I do remember, I married him. Because I wanted to nad I loved him.
Shold he follow his conscience? He followed his feelings.
I didn't want him because of his conscience, I wanted him becase I loved him and I wanted him to love me, he did at the beginning. Then he fell in love with another. Like JLB, I do not want him or any man if they are with me because they are committed.
If a man does not want me, wild horses are not going to keep him with me, no matter how much it hurts me.
Shold he follow his conscience? He followed his feelings.
I didn't want him because of his conscience, I wanted him becase I loved him and I wanted him to love me, he did at the beginning. Then he fell in love with another. Like JLB, I do not want him or any man if they are with me because they are committed.
If a man does not want me, wild horses are not going to keep him with me, no matter how much it hurts me.
The truth.
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jlb684: Does conscience never carry any weight? We use conscience for those times that it benefits us. When we have an overriding compulsion to follow another path, we disregard conscience. Many people abandon conscience for a fleeting emotion. Their so-called conscience is self-serving. I don't buy into this thought process, Dmire.
Well i think it depends with individuals and i actually respect your views.I think the question is... how strong is that part of you that judges the morality of your own action and makes you feel guiltyabout bad things you have done or things you feel responsible for
If im married i will have to respect my spouse same way i respect myself.Figure it out... if i got married to you n it turns out its not working, would you start looking for love somewhere else or we gonna sit and deal with our marriage first?
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jlb684: Damnit, Cap'n!!! Doesn't anyone recognize the difference between love and lust? Did he not feel this at one time for his wife? Will he feel it again, 3 years from now, with another woman? Why, oh why, do we marry? Do we really expect to have that high-school euphoria forever?
Oh, lust and love are two very different emotions.
I'm answering to this with love in mind.
To leave your wife whom you have been with for 20 years, over the lust for another woman, is a crap thing to do.
I'm trying to explain more of a scenario where you meet a woman you start to love, and you don't even lust for the woman you are married with, anymore.
What is the right thing to do then?
I say, never put any sort of limit to love, never any boundary or taboos.
Again, I understand people who back off when it’s someone married, because it involves luggage and insecurities.
And yet, I think what the hell, if you fall in love, why not allow all the way?
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CaptainBeirutIII: Oh, lust and love are two very different emotions.
I'm answering to this with love in mind.
To leave your wife whom you have been with for 20 years, over the lust for another woman, is a crap thing to do.
I'm trying to explain more of a scenario where you meet a woman you start to love, and you don't even lust for the woman you are married with, anymore.
What is the right thing to do then?
I say, never put any sort of limit to love, never any boundary or taboos.
Again, I understand people who back off when it’s someone married, because it involves luggage and insecurities.
And yet, I think what the hell, if you fall in love, why not allow all the way?
I'm answering to this with love in mind.
To leave your wife whom you have been with for 20 years, over the lust for another woman, is a crap thing to do.
I'm trying to explain more of a scenario where you meet a woman you start to love, and you don't even lust for the woman you are married with, anymore.
What is the right thing to do then?
I say, never put any sort of limit to love, never any boundary or taboos.
Again, I understand people who back off when it’s someone married, because it involves luggage and insecurities.
And yet, I think what the hell, if you fall in love, why not allow all the way?
Yes my friend Captain,now how genuine is falling in love when you are breaking a heart of your spouse?If it's a chaotic marriage, then someone can understand that may be you need love.In such a case call it of be a free man and love again.
What im disagreeing with you is when want to keep marriage and at the same time you r falling in love.can you have your cake n eat it?
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Dmire: Yes my friend Captain,now how genuine is falling in love when you are breaking a heart of your spouse?If it's a chaotic marriage, then someone can understand that may be you need love.In such a case call it of be a free man and love again.
What im disagreeing with you is when want to keep marriage and at the same time you r falling in love.can you have your cake n eat it?
What im disagreeing with you is when want to keep marriage and at the same time you r falling in love.can you have your cake n eat it?
The concept of love is very misunderstood. It depends upon every singles person's interpretation. It has a lot to do with the melding of extreme passion on many levels for the person coupled with a devotion and loyalty involved with that. Feelings can change due to circumstances or selfish expression. Roll the dice,
join the game of love...
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If I may, I don't think from what the Cpatain has writteb that he is talking abot having an affair and still remaining with his wife.
Not how I read it anyway.
Not how I read it anyway.
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Dmire: Yes my friend Captain,now how genuine is falling in love when you are breaking a heart of your spouse?If it's a chaotic marriage, then someone can understand that may be you need love.In such a case call it of be a free man and love again.
What im disagreeing with you is when want to keep marriage and at the same time you r falling in love.can you have your cake n eat it?
What im disagreeing with you is when want to keep marriage and at the same time you r falling in love.can you have your cake n eat it?
Well, I'm really not saying that it's ok to remain in a marriage and at the same time be with someone else.
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Sommerauer71: If I may, I don't think from what the Cpatain has writteb that he is talking abot having an affair and still remaining with his wife.
Not how I read it anyway.
Not how I read it anyway.
I don't think so, either, Sommer. I'm just approaching it from the angle that he addressed as something to consider. I answer the question, but I don't assume the question is based on reality, always.
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jlb684: I don't think so, either, Sommer. I'm just approaching it from the angle that he addressed as something to consider. I answer the question, but I don't assume the question is based on reality, always.
Hi jlb..
I thought as much, I was not seeing it as that at all and I would be writing more if I was not so tired. For now, I am happy reading all thoughts.
It is an interesting topic and I am pleased that it has gone deeper than the usual, once a cheater always a cheater comments.
My ex husband had an affair for three years, I would not decribe him as a cheater.
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Thankyou
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I dated a married man a few years ago. I did not know he was married until his wife showed up at the ocean bar where we were seated.........
Surprise!!!!
Surprise!!!!
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romanticman4u: Thankyou
For who? ... for me....
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SensualVixen: I dated a married man a few years ago. I did not know he was married until his wife showed up at the ocean bar where we were seated.........
Surprise!!!!
Surprise!!!!
Ooops.
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i will date a blind man but not a married man...
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I didn't say that at all...I said that the men have become less picky, I didn't say that they cheat any more or less than they used to...same for the women, for that matter.
Times haven't changed that much on this one, I'm afraid. The difference I see is that now when a spouse finds out that their spouse has cheated, they can finally leave them to find one who is more faithful instead. I consider that a change for the better, Dmire.