Being Stood Up (183)
lonelygirl53: my true experience has been that when they stood me up, their wives came home, or they had a better offer. PIGS
Or their mommies came home!
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I just logged on and read the 1st and last pages of this thread, but not each post. I will try to answer your questions, Dru, without speculating about what this man's reasons might be for standing you up. (I just ended a sentence with a preposition! Aaaargh! But how else do I say what I wanted to say? "without speculating for his reasons for putting you in a position up where you stand? No, doesn't work! 
)
Yes, I've been stood up. More than once in my many years. I, like you, Dru, react to it much differently now than I did 20 or 30 years ago. It hasn't been a very long time since I last had this experience. I had not made contingency plans as I had taken him for his word that we would be going out for dinner. As zero hour was approaching and I hadn't heard from him to fine-tune the plans (what time will he be coming for me, for example), I sent him a message and asked him when I should expect him. He didn't reply right away. It became evident that I was being stood up, and I didn't call or message him again. I must admit that I was a bit ticked off because I had declined an invitation from friends to go out that evening. So I felt sort of doubly denied. Anyway, he called later that evening and apologized. He gave me some story about being unavoidably held up at work and such. But he is not in the kind of job that he would suddenly be unable to send a quick message or make a quick phone call to me, so I quite honestly didn't buy his story. And I told him as much. I wasn't pissed off at this point; in fact, I was in bed and trying to sleep when he called. I was honest with him when I spoke to him...I told him he had been rude and that he showed that he didn't respect me or my time. He asked if I would see him the next evening and I declined. I wished him well, but told him that I wasn't interested in seeing him after this.
To me, it is a matter of respect.
)Yes, I've been stood up. More than once in my many years. I, like you, Dru, react to it much differently now than I did 20 or 30 years ago. It hasn't been a very long time since I last had this experience. I had not made contingency plans as I had taken him for his word that we would be going out for dinner. As zero hour was approaching and I hadn't heard from him to fine-tune the plans (what time will he be coming for me, for example), I sent him a message and asked him when I should expect him. He didn't reply right away. It became evident that I was being stood up, and I didn't call or message him again. I must admit that I was a bit ticked off because I had declined an invitation from friends to go out that evening. So I felt sort of doubly denied. Anyway, he called later that evening and apologized. He gave me some story about being unavoidably held up at work and such. But he is not in the kind of job that he would suddenly be unable to send a quick message or make a quick phone call to me, so I quite honestly didn't buy his story. And I told him as much. I wasn't pissed off at this point; in fact, I was in bed and trying to sleep when he called. I was honest with him when I spoke to him...I told him he had been rude and that he showed that he didn't respect me or my time. He asked if I would see him the next evening and I declined. I wished him well, but told him that I wasn't interested in seeing him after this.
To me, it is a matter of respect.
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lonelygirl53: my true experience has been that when they stood me up, their wives came home, or they had a better offer. PIGS
Yeah, I'm thinking the latter, myself in this case. I agree that anyone who does this to another human, regardless of gender, is a pig. Women do it to men, too. Nobody deserves to be treated as if they're this unimportant to someone, and I'm sorry to see that you seem to have had it happen more than once. Sucks.
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druidess6308: Right now I'm in the process of being stood up for a date. I am finding that my reaction to this is to laugh, and to be thankful that I'm seeing this man's true colors so early, before my heart got involved.
His text message yesterday indicated we were still on for today. Then no further contact to confirm time and location. It was supposed to be for lunch today, and it's now noon here. Obviously, he's rude and disrespectful, which means he's not worth any more of my thought or emotional energy.
So, how do you react when someone stands you up for a date? Do you let it get you down? Mope and cry about it? Or when you set up a first date, do you have other plans made just in case s/he doesn't show? Do you laugh it off or cry it out? Have you ever stood anyone up for a date? If so, why? (And no, I haven't.)
His text message yesterday indicated we were still on for today. Then no further contact to confirm time and location. It was supposed to be for lunch today, and it's now noon here. Obviously, he's rude and disrespectful, which means he's not worth any more of my thought or emotional energy.
So, how do you react when someone stands you up for a date? Do you let it get you down? Mope and cry about it? Or when you set up a first date, do you have other plans made just in case s/he doesn't show? Do you laugh it off or cry it out? Have you ever stood anyone up for a date? If so, why? (And no, I haven't.)
that is rude for someone to do, but u cannot start assuming, could be emergeny, accident, u name it. If he doesn't call back after a couple of days. Then sure is a morron. As u mentioned seen his true colours on time 
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Arlene101: You can handle him, I am sure of it.
I was stood up once and went out anyway with a g/f of mine and ran smack right into him getting slightly inebriated at a bar.
He apologized profusely and asked if we culd contine and I said NO because I was already with a friend and said he could phone the next day if he wanted and we would make another date which he did.
I told him he could pick me up at my place this time and gave him the address
I would still love to see his face when he pulled up to that address and saw it was a church.
I was stood up once and went out anyway with a g/f of mine and ran smack right into him getting slightly inebriated at a bar.
He apologized profusely and asked if we culd contine and I said NO because I was already with a friend and said he could phone the next day if he wanted and we would make another date which he did.
I told him he could pick me up at my place this time and gave him the address
I would still love to see his face when he pulled up to that address and saw it was a church.
this guy had the nerves
but u did the right thing lady
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whaaat: this guy had the nerves
but u did the right thing lady
Hey, I enjoyed the visual and he never even looked my way after that.but u did the right thing lady
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Arlene101: Hey, I enjoyed the visual and he never even looked my way after that.
he thought he could get away with it ------ This thread is Archived ------
whaaat: that is rude for someone to do, but u cannot start assuming, could be emergeny, accident, u name it. If he doesn't call back after a couple of days. Then sure is a morron. As u mentioned seen his true colours on time
True he may have had an emergency or accident and I pray that isn't the case but earlier actions of not phoning or texting the day before the date in my experience to confirm location and time means the individual wasn't that concerned about following through. I know I've never encountered any guy who was serious about a date with me and didn't plan out a time or location the day previous...------ This thread is Archived ------
GothlilPrincess: True he may have had an emergency or accident and I pray that isn't the case but earlier actions of not phoning or texting the day before the date in my experience to confirm location and time means the individual wasn't that concerned about following through. I know I've never encountered any guy who was serious about a date with me and didn't plan out a time or location the day previous...
yes your right, but the accident could have taken place late evening/night.
But if a guy doesn't call a day before the date to set time and place then its off.
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druidess i will be very excited must be from the night i need to be ready------ This thread is Archived ------
druidess6308: Right now I'm in the process of being stood up for a date. I am finding that my reaction to this is to laugh, and to be thankful that I'm seeing this man's true colors so early, before my heart got involved.
His text message yesterday indicated we were still on for today. Then no further contact to confirm time and location. It was supposed to be for lunch today, and it's now noon here. Obviously, he's rude and disrespectful, which means he's not worth any more of my thought or emotional energy.
So, how do you react when someone stands you up for a date? Do you let it get you down? Mope and cry about it? Or when you set up a first date, do you have other plans made just in case s/he doesn't show? Do you laugh it off or cry it out? Have you ever stood anyone up for a date? If so, why? (And no, I haven't.)
His text message yesterday indicated we were still on for today. Then no further contact to confirm time and location. It was supposed to be for lunch today, and it's now noon here. Obviously, he's rude and disrespectful, which means he's not worth any more of my thought or emotional energy.
So, how do you react when someone stands you up for a date? Do you let it get you down? Mope and cry about it? Or when you set up a first date, do you have other plans made just in case s/he doesn't show? Do you laugh it off or cry it out? Have you ever stood anyone up for a date? If so, why? (And no, I haven't.)
Shows his true colours....
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yes your right, but the accident could have taken place late evening/night.
But if a guy doesn't call a day before the date to set time and place then its off.[/quo
sometimes by bad luck its really happen the we should to listen or accept ,its accident unexpected tragedy and it happened in your first date so try next time...
But if a guy doesn't call a day before the date to set time and place then its off.[/quo
sometimes by bad luck its really happen the we should to listen or accept ,its accident unexpected tragedy and it happened in your first date so try next time...
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krisha: yes your right, but the accident could have taken place late evening/night.
But if a guy doesn't call a day before the date to set time and place then its off.[/quo
sometimes by bad luck its really happen the we should to listen or accept ,its accident unexpected tragedy and it happened in your first date so try next time...
But if a guy doesn't call a day before the date to set time and place then its off.[/quo
sometimes by bad luck its really happen the we should to listen or accept ,its accident unexpected tragedy and it happened in your first date so try next time...
sure sweety ------ This thread is Archived ------
I'd have done the same thing you did, Dru.
If the agreement was that he would call to confirm the time and place the next day and I got no call, no text, e-mail, etc. then I'd not have gone on the assumption that it's off. There's no excuse for not sending some sort of notice.... and if his mom had a heart attack, he could have called from the hospital's pay phone
.... where there's a will, there's a way...
I can't remember ever having been stood up, but if it happened (and it may very well happen in the future), I'd just say: F* 'em and not give it another thought. Moving on. Plenty of fish in the sea, you know.
If the agreement was that he would call to confirm the time and place the next day and I got no call, no text, e-mail, etc. then I'd not have gone on the assumption that it's off. There's no excuse for not sending some sort of notice.... and if his mom had a heart attack, he could have called from the hospital's pay phone
.... where there's a will, there's a way...I can't remember ever having been stood up, but if it happened (and it may very well happen in the future), I'd just say: F* 'em and not give it another thought. Moving on. Plenty of fish in the sea, you know.
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Arlene101: You can handle him, I am sure of it.
I was stood up once and went out anyway with a g/f of mine and ran smack right into him getting slightly inebriated at a bar.
He apologized profusely and asked if we culd contine and I said NO because I was already with a friend and said he could phone the next day if he wanted and we would make another date which he did.
I told him he could pick me up at my place this time and gave him the address
I would still love to see his face when he pulled up to that address and saw it was a church.
I was stood up once and went out anyway with a g/f of mine and ran smack right into him getting slightly inebriated at a bar.
He apologized profusely and asked if we culd contine and I said NO because I was already with a friend and said he could phone the next day if he wanted and we would make another date which he did.
I told him he could pick me up at my place this time and gave him the address
I would still love to see his face when he pulled up to that address and saw it was a church.
I'd have loved to have seen that, too, Arlene!!!! Good one!------ This thread is Archived ------
hi dru i have my gelding knife send him over, we make him talk higher for you, it is best you found out ahead of time
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I have been stood up - he was one that would make plans and then conveniently forget about them when something else came up. I could have been angry with him but I knew his friends and he did exactly the same thing to them so I guess I had a bit of warning before the date.
I gave him a few chances. He blew 2 of them, first time I worried about an accident, 2nd time I got angry at myself for agreeing to the date then carried on with other plans I had made. The 3rd time, I didn't even bother to get ready until his car pulled up outside. It didn't take me long to get ready, but when he saw I wasn't ready he started to get a little huffy with me. That opened the door for the conversation. He actually asked if we could stay friends, I declined as he treated them no better than he did me.
Needless to say there wasn't another date.
I have never stood anyone up for a date - if I can't make it for whatever reason I do find a way to let them know.
I gave him a few chances. He blew 2 of them, first time I worried about an accident, 2nd time I got angry at myself for agreeing to the date then carried on with other plans I had made. The 3rd time, I didn't even bother to get ready until his car pulled up outside. It didn't take me long to get ready, but when he saw I wasn't ready he started to get a little huffy with me. That opened the door for the conversation. He actually asked if we could stay friends, I declined as he treated them no better than he did me.
Needless to say there wasn't another date.
I have never stood anyone up for a date - if I can't make it for whatever reason I do find a way to let them know.
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jlb684: I just logged on and read the 1st and last pages of this thread, but not each post. I will try to answer your questions, Dru, without speculating about what this man's reasons might be for standing you up. (I just ended a sentence with a preposition! Aaaargh! But how else do I say what I wanted to say? "without speculating for his reasons for putting you in a position up where you stand? No, doesn't work! )
Yes, I've been stood up. More than once in my many years. I, like you, Dru, react to it much differently now than I did 20 or 30 years ago. It hasn't been a very long time since I last had this experience. I had not made contingency plans as I had taken him for his word that we would be going out for dinner. As zero hour was approaching and I hadn't heard from him to fine-tune the plans (what time will he be coming for me, for example), I sent him a message and asked him when I should expect him. He didn't reply right away. It became evident that I was being stood up, and I didn't call or message him again. I must admit that I was a bit ticked off because I had declined an invitation from friends to go out that evening. So I felt sort of doubly denied. Anyway, he called later that evening and apologized. He gave me some story about being unavoidably held up at work and such. But he is not in the kind of job that he would suddenly be unable to send a quick message or make a quick phone call to me, so I quite honestly didn't buy his story. And I told him as much. I wasn't pissed off at this point; in fact, I was in bed and trying to sleep when he called. I was honest with him when I spoke to him...I told him he had been rude and that he showed that he didn't respect me or my time. He asked if I would see him the next evening and I declined. I wished him well, but told him that I wasn't interested in seeing him after this.
To me, it is a matter of respect.
Yes, I've been stood up. More than once in my many years. I, like you, Dru, react to it much differently now than I did 20 or 30 years ago. It hasn't been a very long time since I last had this experience. I had not made contingency plans as I had taken him for his word that we would be going out for dinner. As zero hour was approaching and I hadn't heard from him to fine-tune the plans (what time will he be coming for me, for example), I sent him a message and asked him when I should expect him. He didn't reply right away. It became evident that I was being stood up, and I didn't call or message him again. I must admit that I was a bit ticked off because I had declined an invitation from friends to go out that evening. So I felt sort of doubly denied. Anyway, he called later that evening and apologized. He gave me some story about being unavoidably held up at work and such. But he is not in the kind of job that he would suddenly be unable to send a quick message or make a quick phone call to me, so I quite honestly didn't buy his story. And I told him as much. I wasn't pissed off at this point; in fact, I was in bed and trying to sleep when he called. I was honest with him when I spoke to him...I told him he had been rude and that he showed that he didn't respect me or my time. He asked if I would see him the next evening and I declined. I wished him well, but told him that I wasn't interested in seeing him after this.
To me, it is a matter of respect.
First, let me apologize for taking so long to get back in here. My computer decided to bog down on me just as I was scrolling down reading Arlene's post. Then I got a call from a friend who is heading out for a funeral.
Second, no J, there was no better phrasing available.
Third...thank you for sharing that experience. I think you handled it with aplomb and dignity, and I'd expect no less from you. I agree, it's a matter of respect and manners. I also have no further time nor interest in anyone who shows that they have neither. I can certainly understand a true emergency, and would make a second arrangement in such a case, but not when just plain rudeness is suspected. Like you, I know how to tell when someone is lying.
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whaaat: that is rude for someone to do, but u cannot start assuming, could be emergeny, accident, u name it. If he doesn't call back after a couple of days. Then sure is a morron. As u mentioned seen his true colours on time
Oh, it's more of an educated assumption, actually. Again, there were signs, so it wasn't totally unexpected. Hence the contingency plans for today, depending on the weather. It's been a nice, relaxing one.------ This thread is Archived ------
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His text message yesterday indicated we were still on for today. Then no further contact to confirm time and location. It was supposed to be for lunch today, and it's now noon here. Obviously, he's rude and disrespectful, which means he's not worth any more of my thought or emotional energy.
So, how do you react when someone stands you up for a date? Do you let it get you down? Mope and cry about it? Or when you set up a first date, do you have other plans made just in case s/he doesn't show? Do you laugh it off or cry it out? Have you ever stood anyone up for a date? If so, why? (And no, I haven't.)
I was stood up once and went out anyway with a g/f of mine and ran smack right into him getting slightly inebriated at a bar.
He apologized profusely and asked if we culd contine and I said NO because I was already with a friend and said he could phone the next day if he wanted and we would make another date which he did.
I told him he could pick me up at my place this time and gave him the address
I would still love to see his face when he pulled up to that address and saw it was a church.