How you handle it? ( Archived) (118)

Jul 27, 2009 6:03 PM CST How you handle it?
Big_John
Big_JohnBig_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 Posts
Life sometimes can throw several hard things to deal with at once. We can fold our hand and disappear into pity and isolation or we can decide to move forward and realized we are in control of our emotions, mental happiness and future.

We couldn't control what happened, but we can control how we deal with it.

A little background into my experience: I lost a house to hurricane Katrina, my only brother to lung cancer, my mother to a heart attack and my wife to lung cancer in a very short period of time. Life was hard for a while.

Today I feel normal and look forward to plans I have developed.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:05 PM CST How you handle it?
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
Ashes: It´s tough Laura, and very, I lost my first child...I then had three more and very Healthy I must say.
People used to say...oh...you will get over it...not my case.
Easy to say, but in Daily Life, all we can do is cope with it...time does help, that much I can say.
I don´t know what has happened to you...that´s ok...just deal with it one day at a time...try and stay calm, surround yourself with people you love and love you.

Thank you for sharing, Ashes. I’d think the pain of loosing a child must be worst there is. So sorry it happened in your life.

And thanks for asking…

No, thank God nothing bad happened,

it’s just a hypothetical question.


I once came across someone who was managing an absolutely horrible predicament in a very different way than I ever saw any other person did. And was curious how it’s ever possible and how others approach it.

Either it’s a strong will power, or such an incredible zest for life, or somekind of wisdom…


Ashes:
I don´t know if you are a beleiver or not, this did help me, and it does every day....as this is not the only sad thing that has happened to me....It´s Life...unfortunateley...not, "A Garden full of Roses" as we would all like it to be....
Bless You dear

Yes, believers often find strengths in their faith, I'd think.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:05 PM CST How you handle it?
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
Polarbutterfly: Losing a loved one was and still is the
hardest thing to go through.And although
it's been years,it's still so very heartbreaking,
especially for my children (teens).
I guess what's kept me grounded is the fact that
I have no choice but to endure the hurt and the heartache.
Life does go on.So now,I smile and hug my loved ones
a little longer.


Good post.


thumbs up Ditto Polar.

Loosing someone so close to you,

as hard as it is, teaches us how to appreciate every moment spent with people we love.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:07 PM CST How you handle it?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Laura25: When you face something awful in your life, really awful, how you handle it?

I've known a person who in life's worst/toughest situations would do as much as she could and then was able to put it right out of her mind. Always looking cheerful, and smiley, and very pleasant. Not even loosing her sleep.

A great gift.

Can be cultivated if you work at it?

I believe it can but don't think I'd ever could...


People like that are said to be those who live the longest.

I believe we could solve that problem by simply killing them, but maybe that's just me?dunno hmmm
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:08 PM CST How you handle it?
HJFinAZ
HJFinAZHJFinAZSun CIty, Arizona USA870 Threads 1 Polls 17,068 Posts
Damn Laura..... You had me worried for a moment.sigh

Wondering what "IT" you were speaking of..devil
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:08 PM CST How you handle it?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
kissmedeeply: axe & shovel


Like all the solutions in life reduce to an axe and a shovel!mumbling

Clearly you've never been in situations where bailing wire, duct tape, and a sturdy rope are also needed, Joanne!frustrated dunno blushing head banger
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:10 PM CST How you handle it?
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
Thank you all for your replies, guys. Very interested in every single one.

Gotta run now. Will read it all again tonight.




And again, it’s a hypothetical question. I should've mentioned it in my OP.




teddybear
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:11 PM CST How you handle it?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Somechick: "I delt with the loss of my late husband one day at a time.It wasn't easy but with some encouageing words from a CS member I came through it and I'm now OOPS!!begining a brand new chapter in my life."

Okay...to begin that new chapter in your life..."dealt," "encouraging," and "beginning," will start you on the right course, Some.blushing laugh
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:14 PM CST How you handle it?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Big_John: Life sometimes can throw several hard things to deal with at once. We can fold our hand and disappear into pity and isolation or we can decide to move forward and realized we are in control of our emotions, mental happiness and future.

We couldn't control what happened, but we can control how we deal with it.

A little background into my experience: I lost a house to hurricane Katrina, my only brother to lung cancer, my mother to a heart attack and my wife to lung cancer in a very short period of time. Life was hard for a while.

Today I feel normal and look forward to plans I have developed.


Yes, John...but no offense, man, you're a freak! Of course, I mean that in a good way. Almost no one could deal with what you've gone through and emerge with that attitude. More power to you!cheering wine laugh
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:14 PM CST How you handle it?
StressFree
StressFreeStressFreesmall city, Kalmar Sweden176 Threads 16 Polls 8,986 Posts
Laura25: When you face something awful in your life, really awful, how you handle it?

I've known a person who in life's worst/toughest situations would do as much as she could and then was able to put it right out of her mind. Always looking cheerful, and smiley, and very pleasant. Not even loosing her sleep.

A great gift.

Can be cultivated if you work at it?

I believe it can but don't think I'd ever could...


Yes, it can be cultivated if one works on it properly. It's a tough cognitive process, but once you can master it, nothing can stand in the way of happiness...Ultimately, it's a choice of putting things into proper perspective. Only the very few can pull it off.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:15 PM CST How you handle it?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Laura25: Thank you for sharing, Ashes. I’d think the pain of loosing a child must be worst there is. So sorry it happened in your life.

And thanks for asking…

No, thank God nothing bad happened,

it’s just a hypothetical question.

I once came across someone who was managing an absolutely horrible predicament in a very different way than I ever saw any other person did. And was curious how it’s ever possible and how others approach it.

Either it’s a strong will power, or such an incredible zest for life, or somekind of wisdom…
Yes, believers often find strengths in their faith, I'd think.


I used to think that. Until my god, Dionysus, started "recycling" my lite beer sacrifices all over my porch.very mad dunno blues
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:23 PM CST How you handle it?
vanitystorm
vanitystormvanitystormroxboro, North Carolina USA12 Threads 180 Posts
what will you do in that situation ask the doctor to give me a prescription[/quote When my dad died i went out of control. Non-functional! It was the first of the worse times in my life. He gave me meds and thank God it helped. Then when my mom was very sick i again went through months of not eating and being sick. Again, I had to have my meds changed. I believe in God and I know He has the power to heal. He puts the solutions to our problems in our lives and it's up to us to take them. I did and i got better. I don't deal with tragedy too well. So, although i didn't ask for a prescription i got it and i got better.angel handshake
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:24 PM CST How you handle it?
Big_John
Big_JohnBig_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 Posts
Ambrose2007: Yes, John...but no offense, man, you're a freak! Of course, I mean that in a good way. Almost no one could deal with what you've gone through and emerge with that attitude. More power to you!


I remember the exact moment that I knew I was going to be okay. It was in a group grief counseling session I had been going to in order to handle the things that occurred. A lady was talking about the lost of her husband. She was crying and really depressed. Someone in the room asked when and how long ago did her husband pass away. She stated about 5 years ago.

That is when I told myself I would not be like that 5 years from then. I got up and walked out of the session and got on with my life.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 6:26 PM CST How you handle it?
StressFree
StressFreeStressFreesmall city, Kalmar Sweden176 Threads 16 Polls 8,986 Posts
Big_John: I remember the exact moment that I knew I was going to be okay. It was in a group grief counseling session I had been going to in order to handle the things that occurred. A lady was talking about the lost of her husband. She was crying and really depressed. Someone in the room asked when and how long ago did her husband pass away. She stated about 5 years ago.

That is when I told myself I would not be like that 5 years from then. I got up and walked out of the session and got on with my life.


Yep, power to you John! Impressive stuff there my friend. Good for you.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 10:30 PM CST How you handle it?
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
StressFree: Yes, it can be cultivated if one works on it properly. It's a tough cognitive process, but once you can master it, nothing can stand in the way of happiness...Ultimately, it's a choice of putting things into proper perspective. Only the very few can pull it off.


Thank you Stress handshake You got it right - that's what I am curious about.

Yes, I agree that very few could master it...
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 10:38 PM CST How you handle it?
Ambrose2007: Somechick: "I delt with the loss of my late husband one day at a time.It wasn't easy but with some encouageing words from a CS member I came through it and I'm now OOPS!!begining a brand new chapter in my life."

Okay...to begin that new chapter in your life..."dealt," "encouraging," and "beginning," will start you on the right course, Some.



Yes J I am.I'm getting married in September so I guess you could say that's the right course.This guy's not a jerk like the other one from before.wave
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 10:46 PM CST How you handle it?
friends4now
friends4nowfriends4nowMelbourne, Florida USA73 Threads 10 Polls 2,366 Posts
too make this not too personal

I have lost my mother-lost children-almost lost my life-lost my innocence-been beaten by my "love"-and homeless


I know where I have been it makes me stronger and know that no matter what happens I can get through it. I don't feel sorry for myself but I love harder and work harder than I ever had. I am optimistic even though at times I don't want to be. No matter what awful things happen you are stronger because of them

it's the people who think they are victims and the world owe them something I can't stand

frustrated frustrated
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 10:47 PM CST How you handle it?
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
Ambrose2007: I used to think that. Until my god, Dionysus, started "recycling" my lite beer sacrifices all over my porch.


May I suggest

a) stop calling him that, he prefers to be called Bacchus,

b) it's a sign - you had to restore this porch ages ago very mad roll eyes
Oh, and while you are at that, make it{the porch} a wrap-around peace


kiss
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 10:47 PM CST How you handle it?
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
somechick: Yes J I am.I'm getting married in September so I guess you could say that's the right course.This guy's not a jerk like the other one from before.


conversing Wow!

Congrats Anna! rose

Lots of love and many happy years together to you!

wine
------ This thread is Archived ------
Jul 27, 2009 11:01 PM CST How you handle it?
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
littlesusie: In the time of my lost, I had my children to fall back on, but when it came to the point that I had to be by myself, I thought I had it all plan out on how I would deal with the lost and the empty house. I would work 15 hrs. a day then come home and clean house until 2a.m. in the morning, I would be so tried that when I did go to bed I didn't even think, because I would be getting up to get ready for work at 5:30a.m. This did work, I didn't have time to think, had the cleaness house around. But it did put a toll on my health, in 6 months I lost 103 pounds ( I did need to loose the weight, but not that way. I never really cry for my husband, until one day i was washing dishes and drop a dish and for some reason I just sat in the middle of the floor and cry my eyes out, I was sad for myself and mad at him for leaving me. But at the same time I relize that the things that I was doing wasn't working that well. I had to face it and talk about it and try to go on with my life. It has been 3 years now and I have decided to start dating again and see how it goes, and hope for the best.

Susie


Tough! Thank you for sharing, Susie. I am glad you found a way not to bottle it all inside for any longer hug

Facing it and talking it out - the best solution to overcome grief. That, and the time of course.

Save dating to you.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Post Comment - Post a comment on this Forum Thread

This Thread is Archived

This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.

« Go back to All Threads
Message #318
We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here