Todays Thought.......... (26)
It took me almost 30 years with her to realized I didn't need to change a thing in her. She was perfect all along. I was the one needing change! Self reflection and looking at ourself is far more important to the relationship.
Nice post today HJ.....
Nice post today HJ.....
------ This thread is Archived ------
Only two posts - one from a dog and an answer from a giant tortoise....... what is CS coming to? 
------ This thread is Archived ------
Change in a person is inevitable, we always change...but recognizing that your partner changes also, that is hard.....and hard to accept sometimes...thoughtful post today HJ!
------ This thread is Archived ------
amahlala: Change in a person is inevitable, we always change...but recognizing that your partner changes also, that is hard.....and hard to accept sometimes...thoughtful post today HJ!
Yes - another word not used is 'control'......... wanting to control another person isn't nice even if meant well.
------ This thread is Archived ------
amahlala: Change in a person is inevitable, we always change...but recognizing that your partner changes also, that is hard.....and hard to accept sometimes...thoughtful post today HJ!
As time goes by we don't realize how much we have changed; we only see the change in our partner. Accepting that 'new' person is so, so important. I wouldn't want her to be the same everyday. I expect we would grow together and learn new 'stuff'. I so agree with you.
------ This thread is Archived ------
"Today I will be a full grown man, responsible for my part in an intimate relationship, and let the rest go.."
That should have said full grown man, OR WOMAN.
That should have said full grown man, OR WOMAN.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Big_John: As time goes by we don't realize how much we have changed; we only see the change in our partner. Accepting that 'new' person is so, so important. I wouldn't want her to be the same everyday. I expect we would grow together and learn new 'stuff'. I so agree with you.
I remember something my ex-husband used to say to me: "Women marry men expecting them to change and men marry women expecting them to never change - and it is a shock to both when they realize they have both changed."
------ This thread is Archived ------
ladyfingers: "Today I will be a full grown man, responsible for my part in an intimate relationship, and let the rest go.."That should have said full grown man, OR WOMAN.
Let me check..........
NOPE, I ain't woman..
------ This thread is Archived ------
HJFinAZ: Well, he did do a little jail time..
gotta love those arizona jails!------ This thread is Archived ------
amahlala: gotta love those arizona jails!
Here in Maricopa County, Sheriff Joe allows inmates to wear pink underware..
------ This thread is Archived ------
HJFinAZ: Here in Maricopa County, Sheriff Joe allows inmates to wear pink underware..
requires
------ This thread is Archived ------
HJFinAZ: requires
------ This thread is Archived ------
HJFinAZ: Well, he did do a little jail time..
Hope he didn't go in a Quarterback and come out as a wide receiver.. Certainly after 2 years he couldn't be a tightend. 
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sparky55: Hope he didn't go in a Quarterback and come out as a wide receiver.. Certainly after 2 years he couldn't be a tightend.
------ This thread is Archived ------
But what about growing up??
------ This thread is Archived ------
HJFinAZ: But what about growing up??
I think your thought of the day is spot on. I gave up on trying to change anyone a long time ago. Accept what you have and enjoy it the best you can. I've found life is much better that way.
------ This thread is Archived ------
amahlala: Change in a person is inevitable, we always change...but recognizing that your partner changes also, that is hard.....and hard to accept sometimes...thoughtful post today HJ!
I've been waiting for a chance to express my observations regarding this sort of thing. (give me a pass on the generalization. I'm not changing, anyway. ) People can't stand to be told ANYTHING. Even if what you are saying to them would help them immensely, and they know it, they resist being TOLD. I worked with a woman for several years who compromised a legal component of our job, jeapardizing herself severely, as well as those surrounding her. I could not have been more polite and gentle in trying to fix the problem. Nope. Nothing doing. Didn't want to hear it. ("you mean she'd rather get in serious trouble than change her lackadaisacal work manner? Yup. She would). Anyone care to venture a guess as to what the outcome of this ended up being? Go ahead, let's see how smart you are!------ This thread is Archived ------
rohaan: I've been waiting for a chance to express my observations regarding this sort of thing. (give me a pass on the generalization. I'm not changing, anyway. ) People can't stand to be told ANYTHING. Even if what you are saying to them would help them immensely, and they know it, they resist being TOLD. I worked with a woman for several years who compromised a legal component of our job, jeapardizing herself severely, as well as those surrounding her. I could not have been more polite and gentle in trying to fix the problem. Nope. Nothing doing. Didn't want to hear it. ("you mean she'd rather get in serious trouble than change her lackadaisacal work manner? Yup. She would). Anyone care to venture a guess as to what the outcome of this ended up being? Go ahead, let's see how smart you are!
I believe it to be a "looking into the mirror" thing..
SO many cannot stand what they see..
------ This thread is Archived ------
rohaan: I've been waiting for a chance to express my observations regarding this sort of thing. (give me a pass on the generalization. I'm not changing, anyway. ) People can't stand to be told ANYTHING. Even if what you are saying to them would help them immensely, and they know it, they resist being TOLD. I worked with a woman for several years who compromised a legal component of our job, jeapardizing herself severely, as well as those surrounding her. I could not have been more polite and gentle in trying to fix the problem. Nope. Nothing doing. Didn't want to hear it. ("you mean she'd rather get in serious trouble than change her lackadaisacal work manner? Yup. She would). Anyone care to venture a guess as to what the outcome of this ended up being? Go ahead, let's see how smart you are!
Why would I want to guess? I work with those types every day and one I have learned is that unless "you" are willing to change something about "yourself" that "you" don't like or want to change, then it will never happen....no one but you can change and to try to make another individual change is like driving into a brick wall....you can do it but it will hurt like hell.
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
other can see but not you
men's perspective towards women
Sleepy Don!
rarotonga
1830's Music
your personality
the way you look
wanting beyond need
Don Shits-In-Pants!!!
Feel Good Music
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
781 Views
25 Comments
in CS Lounge
Created: Aug 2009
Last Viewed: May 4
Last Commented: Aug 2009
0 Likes
Most of us think of marriage in romantic terms. We imagine finding "the right one" and we form a vision of the right mate. Others of us have given up on ever finding a lifelong partner. Tghe romance of a relationship naturally plays a less important role as we deal with practical matters such as house cleaning, earning a living, and child care. When problems develop, we think about how we want our partner to change. If only they would listen to us more. If only they would spend money more responsibly. If only....If only...If only......
Most of our ideas about improving our relationships are left over from childhood ideas of how we would like to be taken care of. We want more attention. We want more love. We want to change our partners to satisfy our needs better. But when we give up on changing our partners, we grow up ourselves. When we accept that our partners are also on a life's path, which is not identiacl to our own, we can accept them as friends, and the good things we share grow in importance.
Today I will be a full grown man, responsible for my part in an intimate relationship, and let the rest go..