Testing potentials (29)
I wouldn't do it, i think you find out by spending time with a person, and not rushing into things.
To that i feel is carrying insecurities possibly into another relationship, and i don't think that would be fair
To that i feel is carrying insecurities possibly into another relationship, and i don't think that would be fair
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testes testing is acceptable ....
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Testing potentials can be a very dangerous game. Believe me, I learned this the hard way. I won't go into details (at the risk of embarrassing myself) but I tested someone and he felt tricked and deceived...even though that wasn't my intention. I lost a friendship that possibly could have been something really special!! 
Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy...no need to test...time will tell you everything you need to know!
Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy...no need to test...time will tell you everything you need to know!------ This thread is Archived ------
RDM59: testes testing is acceptable ....
You are sooooo bad!!!
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RDM59: testes testing is acceptable ....
It's "testis", dear.
but I do understand wishful thinking 
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Could you define 'testing' ?
I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
Sorry
I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
Sorry
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Raven0: Could you define 'testing' ?
I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
Sorry
I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
Sorry
It's when you create a situation that puts the other person in a situation where they have to demonstrate their affection, loyalty, love or dedication to you.
There are lots of examples: Someone hiring a decoy to hit on your boyfriend/intended at a bar.
A colleague asked me once (20 years ago) to call her boyfriend and arrange a date while wanted to listen on the phone to see whether he'd agree (I didn't do it, by the way).
A person setting up a fake profile to see whether the other responds in an interested fashion.
etc. Hope that makes sense.
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True enough. What you and morgan say is what I'm thinking also, but I think we all know that people do it ... a lot. The potential of it backfiring is huge, which makes me wonder why we do it, you know.
lookin4ubabe: Testing potentials can be a very dangerous game. Believe me, I learned this the hard way. I won't go into details (at the risk of embarrassing myself) but I tested someone and he felt tricked and deceived...even though that wasn't my intention. I lost a friendship that possibly could have been something really special!! Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy...no need to test...time will tell you everything you need to know!
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Scubadiva: True enough. What you and morgan say is what I'm thinking also, but I think we all know that people do it ... a lot. The potential of it backfiring is huge, which makes me wonder why we do it, you know.
If you don't have trust its pointless carrying on in the relationship, you end up putting yourself thro turmoil. jmo ------ This thread is Archived ------
Scubadiva: True enough. What you and morgan say is what I'm thinking also, but I think we all know that people do it ... a lot. The potential of it backfiring is huge, which makes me wonder why we do it, you know.
Oh yeah, people do it all the time!!! I wish I would have stopped and thought about how I would have felt if it was done to me! But I learned a huge and valuable lesson!! So, in the end....I guess something good did come from it!!
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Makes perfect sense.
Ok, in that case, I'm not a fan of such methods.
I think it's alot like that stupid reality show that was one years ago.
It took couples and put them on seperate parts of an island, then gave them food and drink in massive quantities, then the final insult, throw each couple at a bunch of very attractive people set there only to tempt them into doing something stupid.
It's a lose lose situation really.
If they find out what you've done, they lose trust in you, and the relationship may never be repaired, or they didn't do what you expected them then the relationship may never be repaired.
I think it's a game, and a rather sick one at that.
Although some will disagree, all I can say is I hope it doesn't end up badly for those who use that method.
It's just not for me.
Ok, in that case, I'm not a fan of such methods.
I think it's alot like that stupid reality show that was one years ago.
It took couples and put them on seperate parts of an island, then gave them food and drink in massive quantities, then the final insult, throw each couple at a bunch of very attractive people set there only to tempt them into doing something stupid.
It's a lose lose situation really.
If they find out what you've done, they lose trust in you, and the relationship may never be repaired, or they didn't do what you expected them then the relationship may never be repaired.
I think it's a game, and a rather sick one at that.
Although some will disagree, all I can say is I hope it doesn't end up badly for those who use that method.
It's just not for me.
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Scubadiva: It's "testis", dear. but I do understand wishful thinking
Testing my spelling Huuuh ...
I think both spellings are OK.( Googled both ).Finding out about someone's past to the level of their family and friends is enough for me. If they don't have contact with family or maintained long term friendships then alarm bells will sound straight off for me.
I don't agree in the setting of tests and traps ....
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I had it done to me a few weeks back ......it all back fired on her
Isn't it strange when the partner talks about TRUST ...HONESTY...RESPECT ....then tries to trick you
Isn't it strange when the partner talks about TRUST ...HONESTY...RESPECT ....then tries to trick you
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Scubadiva: So what do you think about "testing" a potential partner?
Is it a game or is it smart practice?
Are testers insecure/jealous by nature or perhaps just cautious?
What kinds of tests are acceptable and which ones are not?
How do you feel if you're the testee?
Thoughts?
Is it a game or is it smart practice?
Are testers insecure/jealous by nature or perhaps just cautious?
What kinds of tests are acceptable and which ones are not?
How do you feel if you're the testee?
Thoughts?
No! Its all a question of trust...
Morning Darls..
Have a good Sunday...
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Test away!
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Scubadiva: I think we all know that people do it ... a lot. The potential of it backfiring is huge, which makes me wonder why we do it, you know.
My guess, they're trying to legitimize their trust issues.
They'd rather be alone than risk a relatoinship,
and are just looking for an excuse to back away,
or they're just drama queens.
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Ocee35: My guess, they're trying to legitimize their trust issues.
They'd rather be alone than risk a relatoinship,
and are just looking for an excuse to back away,or they're just drama queens.
They'd rather be alone than risk a relatoinship,
and are just looking for an excuse to back away,or they're just drama queens.
Yes I agree, to test someone to the degree of setting up a fake account or getting a GF to lie would show me a side of insecurity that would end any chance of a relationship.
Trust is, by its definition, trusting someone
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We all test each other to a degree...it's human nature....we even test others....
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Is it a game or is it smart practice?
Are testers insecure/jealous by nature or perhaps just cautious?
What kinds of tests are acceptable and which ones are not?
How do you feel if you're the testee?
Thoughts?