What Could Have Been (65)
I tend not to disect it.....if I made a mistake then I made a mistake....have to move on and live with it....think it's getting much easier for me...
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I tend not to disect it.....if I made a mistake then I made a mistake....have to
I've actually surprised myself. Accepted the end gracefully. things weren't working. I tried hard to find a solution. He wouldn't compromise. After 12 years I don't think of him anymore we're not in touch but he's the one with regrets he says. maybe because he didn't treat me right. Now I lead a boring single life mostly stay at home, living virtually without many friends in real life but I'm happy to be free to be me without someone trying to mould me. The price to pay for freedom. No regrets.
I've actually surprised myself. Accepted the end gracefully. things weren't working. I tried hard to find a solution. He wouldn't compromise. After 12 years I don't think of him anymore we're not in touch but he's the one with regrets he says. maybe because he didn't treat me right. Now I lead a boring single life mostly stay at home, living virtually without many friends in real life but I'm happy to be free to be me without someone trying to mould me. The price to pay for freedom. No regrets.
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Don't regret the Past,nor shut the Door on it!
But,Boy,it sure hurts some time!
But,Boy,it sure hurts some time!
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Never look back with regret, only forward with optimism.
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AsleepInNJ: do you ever think about what could have been in a relationship after it's over? meaning if you had said something or did something differently or acted in a different way do you think the relationship could have turned out differently? on what level do you analyze a relationship? when it's over do you just dust yourself off and try again? do you go "underground" for awhile and play it safe? does it hurt so much you feel like you'll never be in a relationship again?
I consulted my lawyer over this, he told me just to plead not guilty!!------ This thread is Archived ------
englishelegance: Never look back with regret, only forward with optimism.
Then I must change my user name to Optimism!!------ This thread is Archived ------
online today!ladyfingers: Yes I do.
and yes it does.
And that pretty well says it for me too.and yes it does.
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online today!trurorob: I consulted my lawyer over this, he told me just to plead not guilty!!
Goodmorning stranger
or in your case I believe afternoon------ This thread is Archived ------
Happygolucky4u: Goodmorning stranger or in your case I believe afternoon
Good mornign to you my friend, hope you are well, yes it is early afternoon here!!------ This thread is Archived ------
Godsgift: Underground for me I'm afraid and yes I tend to waste far too much time thinking what might have been and if I had said or done this, that or the other then the outcome may have been different.
Having got a wee bit older and I like to think wiser, I believe as it says in the Desiderata:
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
And I am part of that universe. The " What if? " thoughts are really just mental gymnastics that can cause me a great deal of grief!
Having got a wee bit older and I like to think wiser, I believe as it says in the Desiderata:
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
And I am part of that universe. The " What if? " thoughts are really just mental gymnastics that can cause me a great deal of grief!
Wonderful! My feelings exactly.
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lostx2: Yes to all of thee above. I have been through hell and back due to relationships. My family wonders how I overcame everything I've been through without having a breakdown. But through all the thinking of what would I have done different, and why did things go wrong, several years of hiding from relationships and a tattoo later. I have come to realize that whats done is done. I can't change whats happened, and looking back, I think it was for the best. I learn from my mistakes and realize that it's all part of life.
This is why alot of my forum posts have some attempt at humor (even though it doesn't seem to work sometimes). Theres still days that you have to laugh at life because if you sit and think to hard, you'll cry.
This is why alot of my forum posts have some attempt at humor (even though it doesn't seem to work sometimes). Theres still days that you have to laugh at life because if you sit and think to hard, you'll cry.
I can relate to everything you have said
But with a little more optimism and positivity the title should read "What will be"
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Godsgift: Underground for me I'm afraid and yes I tend to waste far too much time thinking what might have been and if I had said or done this, that or the other then the outcome may have been different.
Having got a wee bit older and I like to think wiser, I believe as it says in the Desiderata:
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
And I am part of that universe. The " What if? " thoughts are really just mental gymnastics that can cause me a great deal of grief!
Having got a wee bit older and I like to think wiser, I believe as it says in the Desiderata:
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
And I am part of that universe. The " What if? " thoughts are really just mental gymnastics that can cause me a great deal of grief!
very wise words,i definitely agree.
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tomboygirl: very wise words,i definitely agree.
Didn't we have this discussion yesterday? How weird..
Very nicely put Godsgift...
I think you do have to analyze a little when a relationship ends but wasting to much time on it is a no no.
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I think it all depends on the nature of the relationship and how it ended. I find that the silliest of disagreements can easily make a person end a relationship whether it be friendship or romantic. I choose to apologize for any wrong doings and hope the other person does the same. At the end of the day..I offer my olive branch..and it is up to them to take it or not. For the most part..it has worked..and though sometimes the "romantic" love doesn't come back 90% of the time we remain friends. Pride is what keeps us from reaching out to people. If we feel the least bit hurt..it is easier to run and hide then to deal with the situation head on. I refuse to live life like this anymore..if I get hurt I get hurt..but I will know I did my best. Life is for living and taking chances..I would hate to look back and think I may have missed a great thing. I will say what I need to say..take my chances..try my hardest..put my heart on my sleeve and live.
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Once in a while I look back! Its normal to do it. However, I live in the present and look forward to my tomorrows. Somebody is out there and we will develop a new great life together.
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venusenvy: Maybe the lessons settle like layers as we live on and grow. I find time is a great healer, time takes time yaknow?
Assuming it was a relationship of value, I tend to mope and OVERanalyse and bawl like a baby
. There's no time limit hours - days or weeks or more. But somehow, I wake up one day, and it's purged. Totally gone. The pain and, regrettably, the good memories too - weird!------ This thread is Archived ------
nanners2863: I think it all depends on the nature of the relationship and how it ended. I find that the silliest of disagreements can easily make a person end a relationship whether it be friendship or romantic. I choose to apologize for any wrong doings and hope the other person does the same. At the end of the day..I offer my olive branch..and it is up to them to take it or not. For the most part..it has worked..and though sometimes the "romantic" love doesn't come back 90% of the time we remain friends. Pride is what keeps us from reaching out to people. If we feel the least bit hurt..it is easier to run and hide then to deal with the situation head on. I refuse to live life like this anymore..if I get hurt I get hurt..but I will know I did my best. Life is for living and taking chances..I would hate to look back and think I may have missed a great thing. I will say what I need to say..take my chances..try my hardest..put my heart on my sleeve and live.
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I try not to think....you all can't tell that...
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AsleepInNJ: do you ever think about what could have been in a relationship after it's over? meaning if you had said something or did something differently or acted in a different way do you think the relationship could have turned out differently? on what level do you analyze a relationship? when it's over do you just dust yourself off and try again? do you go "underground" for awhile and play it safe? does it hurt so much you feel like you'll never be in a relationship again?
AHH....would've ...could've...
Follow me...
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we have no control of the past or future but to embrace today and create our tomorrow is where it's at for me
I agree with the last part of what you said but I have issues with the first part. Sometimes it doesn't take two to contaminate at all. We cannot be accountable for our partners, (be our brother's keeper).
If you are willing to discuss things as they happen in a relationship, and work at compromises, but the other person is not willing to even listen, never mind do anything, and you stay to give them chances, then you are not at fault in any way. People have to be responsble for themselves and make their own choices. We are not there to mother or baby them.
You cannot say it is both people's fault if things fail, when it is actually only one person's fault. I hear this accountability stuff all the time, but usually in a break up, one person makes the decision to go, because the other one is not accountable, not both of them, unless one is enabling the other in a co-dependant relationship, which never would have been healthy in the first place.
There isn't a couple on the planet who is compatible on all levels. Work is needed on an on-going basis. Without that from both parties then the relationship is going to break down.