Does any one care (132)
Benny....
Your 24......... maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!!!!!!
You got a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG way to go and a lot of aching heart to get through...
Best of luck and hopefully the least heart break to deal with!
Your 24......... maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!!!!!!
You got a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG way to go and a lot of aching heart to get through...
Best of luck and hopefully the least heart break to deal with!
benny86: Hay I am ready to date I just don't want a lady that doesn’t understand that I have been hurt and I'm and won’t just jump into any ones arms and expect it all to feel better I want that special lady.
Believe me sunshine, I have lived a bit longer than you. Been married 4 times and currently happily single. 1. You are NOT repeat NOT going to find that lady 2. A relationship is not about being in control or being controlled. 3. For god's sake, at your up mate, age jump into arms (or beds) and live life. 4. Chin UP - life does go on and get to be fun if you let it.
hatpin: Benny....
Your 24......... maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!!!!!!
You got a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG way to go and a lot of aching heart to get through...Best of luck and hopefully the least heart break to deal with!
Your 24......... maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!!!!!!
You got a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG way to go and a lot of aching heart to get through...Best of luck and hopefully the least heart break to deal with!
Didn't see your post until after Hat, snap
Dear Benny,
this is not directed at you personally, rather its something I found that maybe of general interest to ALL, and is on the subject of moving on and changing our distructive patterns.
I was reading DR PHIL Love Smart last night (yes I confess!!!) and I found this... (please read all italics in a texan drawl
)
'If we are going to get real, then it's time to dissect your last relationship and your relationship patterns. The best predictor of future behaviour is relevant past behaviour ....
he then asks the reader to answer a number of questions.
What were your problems and frustrations with the relationship:
What were the problems your partner had with you?
What are ten key statements about the pain you still feel and the open wounds you still have? write them down
For each of the statements you wrote, ask yourself: what was my role in this?
What choices did you make that led to the results you got in your last relationship?
You teach people how to treat you. Did you teach your last partner to treat you badly?
What do you have to change to get over your last relationship? How do you need to heal?
What part of your last r/ship do you want to leave in the past?
You need emotional closure. You need to figure out what is your minimal effective response - the least thing you can do to get the closure. Yelling/screaming, writing your thoughts down, talking to the ex.....the steps you need to take to feel that you've stood up for yourself, do it
I thought this was interesting and I hope that others will find it helpful.
this is not directed at you personally, rather its something I found that maybe of general interest to ALL, and is on the subject of moving on and changing our distructive patterns.
I was reading DR PHIL Love Smart last night (yes I confess!!!) and I found this... (please read all italics in a texan drawl
)'If we are going to get real, then it's time to dissect your last relationship and your relationship patterns. The best predictor of future behaviour is relevant past behaviour ....
he then asks the reader to answer a number of questions.
What were your problems and frustrations with the relationship:
What were the problems your partner had with you?
What are ten key statements about the pain you still feel and the open wounds you still have? write them down
For each of the statements you wrote, ask yourself: what was my role in this?
What choices did you make that led to the results you got in your last relationship?
You teach people how to treat you. Did you teach your last partner to treat you badly?
What do you have to change to get over your last relationship? How do you need to heal?
What part of your last r/ship do you want to leave in the past?
You need emotional closure. You need to figure out what is your minimal effective response - the least thing you can do to get the closure. Yelling/screaming, writing your thoughts down, talking to the ex.....the steps you need to take to feel that you've stood up for yourself, do it
I thought this was interesting and I hope that others will find it helpful.
Damianowen: you are not that cold !
Ummm, I dunno....didn't you see those headlights on high beam?
kidatheart: Ummm, I dunno....didn't you see those headlights on high beam?
Yes but that was because i walked into the room.
Shell225: Dear Benny,
this is not directed at you personally, rather its something I found that maybe of general interest to ALL, and is on the subject of moving on and changing our distructive patterns.
I was reading DR PHIL Love Smart last night (yes I confess!!!) and I found this... (please read all italics in a texan drawl )
'If we are going to get real, then it's time to dissect your last relationship and your relationship patterns. The best predictor of future behaviour is relevant past behaviour ....
he then asks the reader to answer a number of questions.
What were your problems and frustrations with the relationship:
What were the problems your partner had with you?
What are ten key statements about the pain you still feel and the open wounds you still have? write them down
For each of the statements you wrote, ask yourself: what was my role in this?
What choices did you make that led to the results you got in your last relationship?
You teach people how to treat you. Did you teach your last partner to treat you badly?
What do you have to change to get over your last relationship? How do you need to heal?
What part of your last r/ship do you want to leave in the past?
You need emotional closure. You need to figure out what is your minimal effective response - the least thing you can do to get the closure. Yelling/screaming, writing your thoughts down, talking to the ex.....the steps you need to take to feel that you've stood up for yourself, do it
I thought this was interesting and I hope that others will find it helpful.
this is not directed at you personally, rather its something I found that maybe of general interest to ALL, and is on the subject of moving on and changing our distructive patterns.
I was reading DR PHIL Love Smart last night (yes I confess!!!) and I found this... (please read all italics in a texan drawl )
'If we are going to get real, then it's time to dissect your last relationship and your relationship patterns. The best predictor of future behaviour is relevant past behaviour ....
he then asks the reader to answer a number of questions.
What were your problems and frustrations with the relationship:
What were the problems your partner had with you?
What are ten key statements about the pain you still feel and the open wounds you still have? write them down
For each of the statements you wrote, ask yourself: what was my role in this?
What choices did you make that led to the results you got in your last relationship?
You teach people how to treat you. Did you teach your last partner to treat you badly?
What do you have to change to get over your last relationship? How do you need to heal?
What part of your last r/ship do you want to leave in the past?
You need emotional closure. You need to figure out what is your minimal effective response - the least thing you can do to get the closure. Yelling/screaming, writing your thoughts down, talking to the ex.....the steps you need to take to feel that you've stood up for yourself, do it
I thought this was interesting and I hope that others will find it helpful.
I don’t need no help with my head I know what the problem was she didn't love me any more I came to that conclusion about 5 months ago so don't keep going on about my past
about what she did but I'm moving on.
kidatheart: Ummm, I dunno....didn't you see those headlights on high beam?
No I didn't. Best I look closer. Off to buy another bed soon.
Shell225: Dear Benny,
this is not directed at you personally, rather its something I found that maybe of general interest to ALL, and is on the subject of moving on and changing our distructive patterns.
I was reading DR PHIL Love Smart last night (yes I confess!!!) and I found this... (please read all italics in a texan drawl )
'If we are going to get real, then it's time to dissect your last relationship and your relationship patterns. The best predictor of future behaviour is relevant past behaviour ....
he then asks the reader to answer a number of questions.
What were your problems and frustrations with the relationship:
What were the problems your partner had with you?
What are ten key statements about the pain you still feel and the open wounds you still have? write them down
For each of the statements you wrote, ask yourself: what was my role in this?
What choices did you make that led to the results you got in your last relationship?
You teach people how to treat you. Did you teach your last partner to treat you badly?
What do you have to change to get over your last relationship? How do you need to heal?
What part of your last r/ship do you want to leave in the past?
You need emotional closure. You need to figure out what is your minimal effective response - the least thing you can do to get the closure. Yelling/screaming, writing your thoughts down, talking to the ex.....the steps you need to take to feel that you've stood up for yourself, do it
I thought this was interesting and I hope that others will find it helpful.
this is not directed at you personally, rather its something I found that maybe of general interest to ALL, and is on the subject of moving on and changing our distructive patterns.
I was reading DR PHIL Love Smart last night (yes I confess!!!) and I found this... (please read all italics in a texan drawl )
'If we are going to get real, then it's time to dissect your last relationship and your relationship patterns. The best predictor of future behaviour is relevant past behaviour ....
he then asks the reader to answer a number of questions.
What were your problems and frustrations with the relationship:
What were the problems your partner had with you?
What are ten key statements about the pain you still feel and the open wounds you still have? write them down
For each of the statements you wrote, ask yourself: what was my role in this?
What choices did you make that led to the results you got in your last relationship?
You teach people how to treat you. Did you teach your last partner to treat you badly?
What do you have to change to get over your last relationship? How do you need to heal?
What part of your last r/ship do you want to leave in the past?
You need emotional closure. You need to figure out what is your minimal effective response - the least thing you can do to get the closure. Yelling/screaming, writing your thoughts down, talking to the ex.....the steps you need to take to feel that you've stood up for yourself, do it
I thought this was interesting and I hope that others will find it helpful.
I read a Dr. Phil book. Sure opened my eyes and taught me a lot (just when I thought I knew everything). Lots of people shun Phil but either way you look at it, he is a world renowned psychologist and does a lot more than drop in on Opera now and then. And Shell, well you're just kind of like a godess, dropping in on us now and then. Worthless as we are, we are honoured by your continued involvement in our mortal lives. Thankyou so
Damianowen: I read a Dr. Phil book. Sure opened my eyes and taught me a lot (just when I thought I knew everything). Lots of people shun Phil but either way you look at it, he is a world renowned psychologist and does a lot more than drop in on Opera now and then. And Shell, well you're just kind of like a godess, dropping in on us now and then. Worthless as we are, we are honoured by your continued involvement in our mortal lives. Thankyou so
I'll take it that you like the princess look then 
I thought Dr Phil was interesting, certainly made me think/rethink a few things..
benny86: Hay I am from NSW mid north coast looking for a nice caring girl.
A little back-story I was engaged to a very lovely almost to perfect for me type of woman and she dumped me on New Year’s Eve via a text. There was no warning I thought we were going along very well I did nothing wrong by her and I was crushed when it happened I am only just now feeling I can try again for love.
I feel very uneasy about trying to find someone new because I don’t believe I’m fully over my ex fiancée, so if you’re a kind hearted lady that’s willing to build a relationship with a vulnerable guy please contact me.
A little back-story I was engaged to a very lovely almost to perfect for me type of woman and she dumped me on New Year’s Eve via a text. There was no warning I thought we were going along very well I did nothing wrong by her and I was crushed when it happened I am only just now feeling I can try again for love.
I feel very uneasy about trying to find someone new because I don’t believe I’m fully over my ex fiancée, so if you’re a kind hearted lady that’s willing to build a relationship with a vulnerable guy please contact me.
No not really! Get over it! Next !!!!
I was going to refer him to a psych.....but then again maybe they said next please as well.
Benny
We all have our sad stories....once you get a few miles on the clock it seems like everybody you meet will have some baggage...
That lovely girl has a tribe of kids... or a psycho ex or won't....I think you get the story.
Me it was simple... we spent 20 years getting to where we wanted to go and then when you look out you realise it was all for what...No meaning in your life and no love for the wife.
Here we are looking to the future...We can't fix the past and we have little control over the future but right now we get to have the fun.. ;-b
Yes we all struggle but we are not here to dwell on it ;-D
Having said that I am going to get a glass of ice and fill it with a single malt.....Then life will be complete...
;-D
Its simple, Chicks don't dig sad blokes. Hope this helped
Benny
We all have our sad stories....once you get a few miles on the clock it seems like everybody you meet will have some baggage...
That lovely girl has a tribe of kids... or a psycho ex or won't....I think you get the story.
Me it was simple... we spent 20 years getting to where we wanted to go and then when you look out you realise it was all for what...No meaning in your life and no love for the wife.
Here we are looking to the future...We can't fix the past and we have little control over the future but right now we get to have the fun.. ;-b
Yes we all struggle but we are not here to dwell on it ;-D
Having said that I am going to get a glass of ice and fill it with a single malt.....Then life will be complete...
;-D
Its simple, Chicks don't dig sad blokes. Hope this helped
benny86: I don’t need no help with my head I know what the problem was she didn't love me any more I came to that conclusion about 5 months ago so don't keep going on about my past about what she did but I'm moving on.
Well YOU came on this site asking for help.But if the replies do not suit you you become angry, I suggest that you have had great advice from a lot of generous members who care!
Quite frankly it seems you could be a little more sensitive!! to be rude to a great girl like Shelly is just not on.
If you carried on like this with your ex I can see the reason why she ended it,look to yourself Ben and ask why.
Good to see you moving....... on.
Martia: Well YOU came on this site asking for help.But if the replies do not suit you you become angry, I suggest that you have had great advice from a lot of generous members who care!
Quite frankly it seems you could be a little more sensitive!! to be rude to a great girl like Shelly is just not on.
If you carried on like this with your ex I can see the reason why she ended it,look to yourself Ben and ask why.
Good to see you moving....... on.
Quite frankly it seems you could be a little more sensitive!! to be rude to a great girl like Shelly is just not on.
If you carried on like this with your ex I can see the reason why she ended it,look to yourself Ben and ask why.
Good to see you moving....... on.
I'm not being rude in any way just saying what I know
benny86: I'm not being rude in any way just saying what I know
Well Benny if you bothered to read Shells post it was not aimed at you or anyone as she explained! yet you gave a rather snide reply and you were the only one to do it.... be nice we are all mates on here.
Martia: Well Benny if you bothered to read Shells post it was not aimed at you or anyone as she explained! yet you gave a rather snide reply and you were the only one to do it.... be nice we are all mates on here.
yes it was give it to them Benny
redozichick: I've never whined about having a sensitive man, I couln't think of anything worse than having a sensitive man
and I didn't chew anyones balls in here
and I didn't chew anyones balls in here
red, i have so many lines to say, but since you chewed my balls, i haven't the courage to do it lol
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Putting yourself out there by describing your earlier relationship breakdown can be cathartic for you, but as you can see, can be taken to be 'poor me', 'please save me' kind of of attitude - I don't believe you necessarily meant it that way - I think you are just noting where you are at in life and love, having been seriously hurt like that can take years to get over, so my view is you should tread carefully with someone else's emotions if the right girl (right now) should come along.
Cheers and good luck.
Thank you I see someone gets where I am now why cannot people think more like you