No one wants to hear about how hurt you've been. (184)
cherrybrandy: when you say something its worth reading Proud..
Awww that is so sweet
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jahzah: Hmmm thats an interesting change from normal old conversation, and may i dare say, a little naughy
Leave me alone, hun.
I'm busy.
Jac xxx
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jac379: Leave me alone, hun.
I'm busy.
Jac xxx
I'm busy.
Jac xxx
I got told
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Ladybee42: that's fair enough, but shouldn't your profile be a positive 'advertisement' of yourself? JMO but i never saw a tv advertisement giving us the downside/reality of any product..
i think demon is a really nice person, but i get what the OP is making a point about..
i think demon is a really nice person, but i get what the OP is making a point about..
You really, really, really do get it. I didn't want to be so suggestive as to call it "advertising" so as to create the impression that being less than direct and honest was advisable, but you certainly do understand the point of my message exactly.
And I thought it would be good discussion generation material.
Oh, and for your wisdom and understanding.
I like you. :)
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jahzah: I got told
Oh no! I made jahzah sad!
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it.
Please forgive me?
Jac xxx
Besides, batteries have run out now.
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venusenvy: Only a fool seeks to control Love.
I couldn't agree more. I'm not sure what that has to do with the aesthetics of a profile picture of a heart with a knife stuck in it gushing blood, though. (metaphorically speaking, of course).
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gardenhackle: I couldn't agree more. I'm not sure what that has to do with the aesthetics of a profile picture of a heart with a knife stuck in it gushing blood, though. (metaphorically speaking, of course).
After reading your post I think you are very controlling.
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Ladybee42: that's fair enough, but shouldn't your profile be a positive 'advertisement' of yourself? JMO but i never saw a tv advertisement giving us the downside/reality of any product..
i think demon is a really nice person, but i get what the OP is making a point about..
you are probably right, you don't have to put your suffering as early as in your profilei think demon is a really nice person, but i get what the OP is making a point about..
but probably when you make a personal contact it may happen. partly I understand the OP too, I read here for a while ago that someone was trying to comfort his new woman who felt bad during long time and he was never kind and understanding enough for her, however hard he tried. his feelings didn't matter, she put her sufferings before everything. that's too much, that man had a lot of patience indeed.------ This thread is Archived ------
SortaSag: Personally I would want to know what was important to a woman I was interested in for this way I could better understand who she was, perhaps even aid one another in that department.
Me, too. And if what's important to them is whining about how they could never find a man that wouldn't break their heart or cheat on them or walk on them time after time after time, I definitely do want to know it. I wouldn't consider entering into any sort of relationship with them, but I'd appreciate the fact that they put up the "bridge out" sign so I could be sure to take an alternate route.
After reading the "what's wrong with my profile" forum, I admit I started wondering how many people were putting up the "bridge out" sign accidentally, unintentionally, and when there's really nothing wrong with the bridge that a can of spray paint wouldn't fix.
If Family is important, I want to know. If career is important, I want to know. If religion is important, I want to know. And I don't find any of those things off-putting at all. But I have a hunch I'm not the only guy that clicks on quickly as soon as they sense poor-me-syndrome in the profile. And I'd wager a lot of money that most women looking for a healthy relationship do the same when they see that in a guy's profile, too.
Merely explaining my perspective and not trying to change yours, of course.
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Heard all this before.
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Proudamerican100: As a woman that was my first thoughts too Don't know how other men perceived it.
I don't know, either. And if you think "controlling", that's OK with me. I am controlling. But only of my own life. I know what I like. I know what I don't. And I'm going to control my life as much as possible to include as much of what I like as possible and as little of what I don't like as possible.
(pssst. I think we all tend to do that, but most people don't seem to be comfortable enough or honest enough with themselves to admit it)
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Less of this > 
Get over this >
Build a bridge to this>
So you can be like this>
Get over this >
Build a bridge to this>
So you can be like this>
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gardenhackle: I don't know, either. And if you think "controlling", that's OK with me. I am controlling. But only of my own life. I know what I like. I know what I don't. And I'm going to control my life as much as possible to include as much of what I like as possible and as little of what I don't like as possible.
(pssst. I think we all tend to do that, but most people don't seem to be comfortable enough or honest enough with themselves to admit it)
(pssst. I think we all tend to do that, but most people don't seem to be comfortable enough or honest enough with themselves to admit it)
Doing a very good job of promoting yourself on CS here. But as regards peoples profiles, it is entirely up to them what they put in them.
You know it does actually help some people if they talk about past relationships. Ignoring that part of a person's history completely (now you dont have to divulge all and sundry), could have a negative effect. Sometimes the past can rear its head, and if not discussed previously, when it does rise from the ashes could possibly create an air of distrust, right there and then.
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gardenhackle: I don't know, either. And if you think "controlling", that's OK with me. I am controlling. But only of my own life. I know what I like. I know what I don't. And I'm going to control my life as much as possible to include as much of what I like as possible and as little of what I don't like as possible.
(pssst. I think we all tend to do that, but most people don't seem to be comfortable enough or honest enough with themselves to admit it)
I really wish you the best for finding the right one. (pssst. I think we all tend to do that, but most people don't seem to be comfortable enough or honest enough with themselves to admit it)
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gardenhackle: Seriously. Life has it's ups and downs. You may be exiting a long, horrible relationship. Taking that emotional baggage with you on a date or into a new relationship is a sure turnoff except, perhaps, to someone who's controlling.
If you're still licking your wounds from all the damage done by your past relationship, you're not ready for a new one. Put the past behind you, get over your stupid mistakes and choices, figure out why you made them and don't do it again. But for God's sake, move on. If you want to be happy and meet Mr. Right, then please do. And you need to do it in that order because Mr. Right is probably not going to come along if you aren't happy already.
This isn't about anyone in particular, just about life, in general. PMS is a turnoff (Poor Me Syndrome) and it afflicts men and women equally. Of course, if that's how you feel about life, then by all means, go ahead and communicate it because you need to be upfront and you'll get figured out soon enough if you don't. But if that's not who you really are or how you feel day to day, then.... I'd recommend talking about your hopes, aspirations, interests, fascinations and dreams. You're single. You need to have those things and pursue those things and find someone that won't be a roadblock to those things.
And, of course.... that's just my perspective and advice. It's free, so take it for what it's worth, LOL. :)
If you're still licking your wounds from all the damage done by your past relationship, you're not ready for a new one. Put the past behind you, get over your stupid mistakes and choices, figure out why you made them and don't do it again. But for God's sake, move on. If you want to be happy and meet Mr. Right, then please do. And you need to do it in that order because Mr. Right is probably not going to come along if you aren't happy already.
This isn't about anyone in particular, just about life, in general. PMS is a turnoff (Poor Me Syndrome) and it afflicts men and women equally. Of course, if that's how you feel about life, then by all means, go ahead and communicate it because you need to be upfront and you'll get figured out soon enough if you don't. But if that's not who you really are or how you feel day to day, then.... I'd recommend talking about your hopes, aspirations, interests, fascinations and dreams. You're single. You need to have those things and pursue those things and find someone that won't be a roadblock to those things.
And, of course.... that's just my perspective and advice. It's free, so take it for what it's worth, LOL. :)
Totally agree, actually.
Too many go headlong into a new relationship before they are over the old one.
Receipe for disaster, most of the time.
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Veritaas: Doing a very good job of promoting yourself on CS here. But as regards peoples profiles, it is entirely up to them what they put in them.
You know it does actually help some people if they talk about past relationships. Ignoring that part of a person's history completely (now you dont have to divulge all and sundry), could have a negative effect. Sometimes the past can rear its head, and if not discussed previously, when it does rise from the ashes could possibly create an air of distrust, right there and then.
Some people look at their selfs with blinders on. It is so much easier to look at others faultsYou know it does actually help some people if they talk about past relationships. Ignoring that part of a person's history completely (now you dont have to divulge all and sundry), could have a negative effect. Sometimes the past can rear its head, and if not discussed previously, when it does rise from the ashes could possibly create an air of distrust, right there and then.
I seen your new pic, I love blue eyeshadow, now I think I want to go this weekend and get me some new pics of me
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gardenhackle: Not at all. Free speech is important. If me saying that "no one wants to hear about how hurt you've been" forces you to stop telling people about how hurt you've been, then you got the wrong message. I didn't say you couldn't do it. I didn't say you shouldn't do it.
The way you put this across is emotionally loaded. Maybe you think that you're not saying people shouldn't, or couldn't, but you are indirectly by making people feel bad and unwelcome.
I'm just stating the fact that normal, sane, happy, healthy people don't really want to hear about how used, abused, broken hearted, etc., you've been. They WILL listen. They'll probably be kind and nice to you. And I guess if you're thinking it's just a good way to throw up a red flag to say, "I'm not in any kind of emotional shape to meet anyone", then it's one way of saying that.
Here you're doing it again by suggesting that anyone who wishes to discuss personal issues, or who needs a little support in order to move on, is not normal, sane, happy, or healthy. What are your qualifications for judging other's sanity? I have a degree in applied psychology and I would say that there are very, very few people on this site whose mental health issues are anywhere near severe enough to be labelled as insane. You don't appear to be using this word lightly, or in jest.
And you know what.... I wouldn't be surprised if someone, agitated by the direct, unvarnished, blunt title reads this sometime today and thinks to themself, "you know, that guy's got no tact whatsoever, but.... I think I'm going to tone down the whining in my profile.
Yes its possible that some people may be so hurt and intimidated by the title of this thread that they will withdraw and make changes. Personally, I'd prefer it if they felt that they were in a non-judgemental environment where they could speak freely, if they wished to.
Nothing attracts a predator more quickly than the bleating of a fawn in distress.
Nothing repels a woman more than the bleating of an over-controlling man
Now, in case some of you who felt like I was making some personal message to you (and I'm not) didn't catch it the first time. That's my opinion. Take it for what it's worth and agree or disagree if you wish and by all means speak your mind either way if you're compelled to do so. I was hoping to "provoke" some thoughts and figured it would be a pretty good mix across the spectrum.
People will see themselves in this thread title and it will hurt them and knock their self-esteem. These people are more than deserving of a little support from their friends
The way you put this across is emotionally loaded. Maybe you think that you're not saying people shouldn't, or couldn't, but you are indirectly by making people feel bad and unwelcome.
I'm just stating the fact that normal, sane, happy, healthy people don't really want to hear about how used, abused, broken hearted, etc., you've been. They WILL listen. They'll probably be kind and nice to you. And I guess if you're thinking it's just a good way to throw up a red flag to say, "I'm not in any kind of emotional shape to meet anyone", then it's one way of saying that.
Here you're doing it again by suggesting that anyone who wishes to discuss personal issues, or who needs a little support in order to move on, is not normal, sane, happy, or healthy. What are your qualifications for judging other's sanity? I have a degree in applied psychology and I would say that there are very, very few people on this site whose mental health issues are anywhere near severe enough to be labelled as insane. You don't appear to be using this word lightly, or in jest.
And you know what.... I wouldn't be surprised if someone, agitated by the direct, unvarnished, blunt title reads this sometime today and thinks to themself, "you know, that guy's got no tact whatsoever, but.... I think I'm going to tone down the whining in my profile.
Yes its possible that some people may be so hurt and intimidated by the title of this thread that they will withdraw and make changes. Personally, I'd prefer it if they felt that they were in a non-judgemental environment where they could speak freely, if they wished to.
Nothing attracts a predator more quickly than the bleating of a fawn in distress.
Nothing repels a woman more than the bleating of an over-controlling man
Now, in case some of you who felt like I was making some personal message to you (and I'm not) didn't catch it the first time. That's my opinion. Take it for what it's worth and agree or disagree if you wish and by all means speak your mind either way if you're compelled to do so. I was hoping to "provoke" some thoughts and figured it would be a pretty good mix across the spectrum.
People will see themselves in this thread title and it will hurt them and knock their self-esteem. These people are more than deserving of a little support from their friends
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Hmmm thats an interesting change from normal old conversation, and may i dare say, a little naughy