No one wants to hear about how hurt you've been. (184)
Proudamerican100: Some people look at their selfs with blinders on. It is so much easier to look at others faults
I seen your new pic, I love blue eyeshadow, now I think I want to go this weekend and get me some new pics of me
I seen your new pic, I love blue eyeshadow, now I think I want to go this weekend and get me some new pics of me
Thank you PA.
And looking at others faults often detracts from looking at your own that lie within. Far more important to be critical and even judgemental of yourself first. Once a person has done this, then perhaps they are in a position to be analytical or make constructive critisim of how others are.
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Veritaas: Doing a very good job of promoting yourself on CS here. But as regards peoples profiles, it is entirely up to them what they put in them.
You know it does actually help some people if they talk about past relationships. Ignoring that part of a person's history completely (now you dont have to divulge all and sundry), could have a negative effect. Sometimes the past can rear its head, and if not discussed previously, when it does rise from the ashes could possibly create an air of distrust, right there and then.
You know it does actually help some people if they talk about past relationships. Ignoring that part of a person's history completely (now you dont have to divulge all and sundry), could have a negative effect. Sometimes the past can rear its head, and if not discussed previously, when it does rise from the ashes could possibly create an air of distrust, right there and then.
I don't disagree at all. You do have to talk about past history, I think, particularly as it relates to your romantic history because that's going to have some bearing on your current situation and probably even your future situation(s). But I think you might also understand the point that if you are still swabbed in cotton with wounds still seeping and heart still split asunder, you're not really ready to move on, yet and whether you know it or not, you are making that known to those who read and comprehend.
It's OK to be an emotional wreck at times. Life isn't all roses and lollipops. Talking about sorrows and current traumas are a normal and, I daresay, necessary outlet. Advertising that you are, in fact, an emotional basketcase with serious trust issues, easily manipulated or subconsciously seeking abusive relationships isn't something I would recommend, however. Nevertheless I understand different strokes for different folks, as they say.
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And this place is far from judgemental at times. People will do it in a very obvious slap in the face manner or in a discrete subtle way.
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Veritaas: Thank you PA.
And looking at others faults often detracts from looking at your own that lie within. Far more important to be critical and even judgemental of yourself first. Once a person has done this, then perhaps they are in a position to be analytical or make constructive critisim of how others are.
Or maybe even refrain!And looking at others faults often detracts from looking at your own that lie within. Far more important to be critical and even judgemental of yourself first. Once a person has done this, then perhaps they are in a position to be analytical or make constructive critisim of how others are.
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venusenvy: Hey, Im in Care and control of my own life as everyone should be...that wasnt what I was refering too. Theres a difference in being in control of your life, and a control freak, I read your post and thats what I get from it. Just callin it as I see it.
Calling it like you see it is something I can appreciate.
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I agree with you Dodge...People should be healed healthy and whole before they enter into a relationship of course, However, the O/P strikes me as very controlling. You cant control what a person puts in thier profile, what emotions another has, or if they feel compelled to talk about it. Im the last person to support a pity party, but I do believe in compassion and empathy. Sometimes peeps just need a lil support yaknow? 
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gardenhackle: Me, too. And if what's important to them is whining about how they could never find a man that wouldn't break their heart or cheat on them or walk on them time after time after time, I definitely do want to know it. I wouldn't consider entering into any sort of relationship with them, but I'd appreciate the fact that they put up the "bridge out" sign so I could be sure to take an alternate route.
After reading the "what's wrong with my profile" forum, I admit I started wondering how many people were putting up the "bridge out" sign accidentally, unintentionally, and when there's really nothing wrong with the bridge that a can of spray paint wouldn't fix.
If Family is important, I want to know. If career is important, I want to know. If religion is important, I want to know. And I don't find any of those things off-putting at all. But I have a hunch I'm not the only guy that clicks on quickly as soon as they sense poor-me-syndrome in the profile. And I'd wager a lot of money that most women looking for a healthy relationship do the same when they see that in a guy's profile, too.
Merely explaining my perspective and not trying to change yours, of course.
After reading the "what's wrong with my profile" forum, I admit I started wondering how many people were putting up the "bridge out" sign accidentally, unintentionally, and when there's really nothing wrong with the bridge that a can of spray paint wouldn't fix.
If Family is important, I want to know. If career is important, I want to know. If religion is important, I want to know. And I don't find any of those things off-putting at all. But I have a hunch I'm not the only guy that clicks on quickly as soon as they sense poor-me-syndrome in the profile. And I'd wager a lot of money that most women looking for a healthy relationship do the same when they see that in a guy's profile, too.
Merely explaining my perspective and not trying to change yours, of course.
Okay, fair enough. There are extremes in both directions. Sometimes it can be an unhealthy thing, while other times a pretty facade can be shallow and false. Perhaps it could not hurt us to be aware of straying to far in either direction.
However, as I said there are different types, some live in a highly emotional world and there are matches for them, while others seem to maintain a seemingly light nature and there are those for them as well.
I believe I understand the several points you were making, but perhaps soft fuzzy tipped arrows have their place as well.
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venusenvy: I agree with you Dodge...People should be healed healthy and whole before they enter into a relationship of course, However, the O/P strikes me as very controlling. You cant control what a person puts in thier profile, what emotions another has, or if they feel compelled to talk about it. Im the last person to support a pity party, but I do believe in compassion and empathy. Sometimes peeps just need a lil support yaknow?
Yep, gotta admit I've not read the whole thread, so just kinda posted to the original OP.
I've been with controlling men before, and it aint nice...
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Veritaas: And this place is far from judgemental at times. People will do it in a very obvious slap in the face manner or in a discrete subtle way.
Judgemental C S .....Never.......
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DodgeBabe: Yep, gotta admit I've not read the whole thread, so just kinda posted to the original OP.
I've been with controlling men before, and it aint nice...
I've been with controlling men before, and it aint nice...
Wondering where you buried their bodies.
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WhatUwish4: Wondering where you buried their bodies.
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gardenhackle: I don't disagree at all. You do have to talk about past history, I think, particularly as it relates to your romantic history because that's going to have some bearing on your current situation and probably even your future situation(s). But I think you might also understand the point that if you are still swabbed in cotton with wounds still seeping and heart still split asunder, you're not really ready to move on, yet and whether you know it or not, you are making that known to those who read and comprehend.
It's OK to be an emotional wreck at times. Life isn't all roses and lollipops. Talking about sorrows and current traumas are a normal and, I daresay, necessary outlet. Advertising that you are, in fact, an emotional basketcase with serious trust issues, easily manipulated or subconsciously seeking abusive relationships isn't something I would recommend, however. Nevertheless I understand different strokes for different folks, as they say.
It's OK to be an emotional wreck at times. Life isn't all roses and lollipops. Talking about sorrows and current traumas are a normal and, I daresay, necessary outlet. Advertising that you are, in fact, an emotional basketcase with serious trust issues, easily manipulated or subconsciously seeking abusive relationships isn't something I would recommend, however. Nevertheless I understand different strokes for different folks, as they say.
And you are advertising yourself in what light, right now on this thread?
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Yuk! Sorry for the messy quote. Don't know what happened there.
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I see what you are getting at op even if your wording of it is a bit brash. My wounds in life are not from a bad relationship. But wounds just the same. I do feel at this time in my life I am not ready to make a commitment. I would like to date 
I can bandage my wounds long enough to have fun. It is actually part of the healing process. But I am very up front with the people in my life my profile is not really wrote to attract. Just to keep me here where I can enjoy the forums and other areas of this site. And enjoy the friends I have made here. So there are all types of wounds we carry in life. I am comfortable enough in life and with myself to know that when the time is right for me I will know. But profiles they are just that. Your statements here do not match the tone of your profile. Your words here seem kind of cold. Callus. I do not know if that was your intent. But being these are your first post it is kind of like a first impression.
PS-at the bottom of profile somewhere it ask what you are looking for. not all here are looking for a relationship
I can bandage my wounds long enough to have fun. It is actually part of the healing process. But I am very up front with the people in my life my profile is not really wrote to attract. Just to keep me here where I can enjoy the forums and other areas of this site. And enjoy the friends I have made here. So there are all types of wounds we carry in life. I am comfortable enough in life and with myself to know that when the time is right for me I will know. But profiles they are just that. Your statements here do not match the tone of your profile. Your words here seem kind of cold. Callus. I do not know if that was your intent. But being these are your first post it is kind of like a first impression. PS-at the bottom of profile somewhere it ask what you are looking for. not all here are looking for a relationship
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Happygolucky4u: I see what you are getting at op even if your wording of it is a bit brash. My wounds in life are not from a bad relationship. But wounds just the same. I do feel at this time in my life I am not ready to make a commitment. I would like to date I can bandage my wounds long enough to have fun. It is actually part of the healing process. But I am very up front with the people in my life my profile is not really wrote to attract. Just to keep me here where I can enjoy the forums and other areas of this site. And enjoy the friends I have made here. So there are all types of wounds we carry in life. I am comfortable enough in life and with myself to know that when the time is right for me I will know. But profiles they are just that. Your statements here do not match the tone of your profile. Your words here seem kind of cold. Callus. I do not know if that was your intent. But being these are your first post it is kind of like a first impression.
PS-at the bottom of profile somewhere it ask what you are looking for. not all here are looking for a relationship
PS-at the bottom of profile somewhere it ask what you are looking for. not all here are looking for a relationship
Here here!
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DodgeBabe: Very true...
It's like a big, giant filter box. It doesn't take long to discern the good people from the flakes. I just basicaly filter out the ones who play games on only focus on the good people. No harm, no foul...
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LOL...Can't type for sh## today.
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WhatUwish4: It's like a big, giant filter box. It doesn't take long to discern the good people from the flakes. I just basicaly filter out the ones who play games on only focus on the good people. No harm, no foul...
Yep...takes a while sometimes, but its worth it in the longrun..
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Hey, Im in Care and control of my own life as everyone should be...that wasnt what I was refering too. Theres a difference in being in control of your life, and a control freak, I read your post and thats what I get from it. Just callin it as I see it.