Relationship patterns ( Archived) (55)

Evening all ,, hello swissblueeyes,,

Just jumping in here {with interest }.and agreement..

I can only speak from my personal experiances about my dating in the last 10 yrs ..

Why do we make the same mistakes over and over again ?

Well each of us are all different ,,but some that we meet although maybe different from each other ,,all have that same flawed trait in there charector ,,although each flaw maybe different ,,to put all the differences collectivaly ,, it could go under the heading of "chaos" "mayhem""snakey" "selfish" or other similar words of your/mine/or others termination ...

Some of us {i certainly did, but not now) treat everyone the same thinking that they were like me ,,an open book ,,honest ,loyal,, bla bla bla ..

But maybe nievity gets us a little blind ,,when we do start to wake up ,,iff we think something of the other person ,we tend to think it will get better ,,so we stay with our relationship stupidily thinking they will get better ...

But realy deep down inside of us we know it probably wont but we stick to trying to make things better ....

Then we get rid ,,, and look back on the whole thing and realise it was a no go from the start ...

The warning signs were in big letters rite in front of us ,, maybe we are selfish and choose to ignore them ..

Stupid to think a Leapard could change its spots ....

Now i see a lot of people around me with those same traits ,,

We kind of get an education as time travells on ...

We see those signs we chose to ignore at previous times ,,,only this time we act upon them ....

Actually, I have a nice life....

Hey Pat How did everything go today ?

No, not true in my life. I try something different every time, but the result is still crap (guess that makes me sane and Bob Grant a man with limited experience)

Nope.

Never make the same mistake again.

Yes.......I seem to get the same guy over and over but in different bodies and I try so hard to get different ppl.

It hasn't happened to me, but I see it with a few people I know. I think it is partly to do with choosing what you "know" and are comfortable with (habit), despite the fact that they may be bad for you, and partly to do with not really taking responsibility for mistakes you may have made in the past and bad choices. Also not doing the necessary work to come to terms with that and then put it firmly back in the past where it belongs. Have you heard of Imago therapy? It's quite big here. The theory goes that we choose people to heal ourselves, and we may continue to choose the wrong people until we heal ourselves fully and make ourselves "whole" again. Then we are more likely to choose healthier partners.

I tend to believe the people who come and go in our lives, do so for a reason. Either we are to learn something from them or they are to learn something from us. And, most likely, it is true that both are to learn something from each other.

I beleive this too.

I find that if we are in a successive set of unhealthy relationships, the only common denominator is ourselves......

Change yourself, you change your life. Though sometimes it requires a lot of changing, and takes years......