Just what you deserve (36)
P.S. Step-mother was arrested for domestic violence and is currently in jail, but even that is not enough to appease my wrath.
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just mad, sorry if this is not appropriate, but I just don't know what else to do here.
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lilmamma71: just mad, sorry if this is not appropriate, but I just don't know what else to do here.
The need for revenge must be huge....But let the police and social services deal with this...Your job now is to support your daughter and help her deal with this in a way that she can get over the trauma without carrying it through her life.An old saying soonest forgotten soonest mended....Might sound flippant but children have a wonderful way of forgetting the bad things in life. Even though you will remember this forever try to put it behind you for her sake......She will always take her lead from you so the more you dwell on it the longer it will stay with her......Not that I am trying to lesson the effect this must have on you both but, you have to balance your need for revenge with the greater need to support your daughter.....As always JMO
HOPE SHE GETS WELL SOON.
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lilmamma71: just mad, sorry if this is not appropriate, but I just don't know what else to do here.
Oh Lilmama,i cant even begin to imagine what you must be feeling as amother.How one woman who has brought forth life into this world can start to do such to anothers' child beats my understanding! she deserves that and more....and your EX such acoward!If he did have any knoweldge of what was happening to his own child then he has no right to the child!!! Dont ever think your child is safe with anyone!
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How sad.... just be there for your daughter
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patmac: The need for revenge must be huge....But let the police and social services deal with this...Your job now is to support your daughter and help her deal with this in a way that she can get over the trauma without carrying it through her life.An old saying soonest forgotten soonest mended....Might sound flippant but children have a wonderful way of forgetting the bad things in life. Even though you will remember this forever try to put it behind you for her sake......She will always take her lead from you so the more you dwell on it the longer it will stay with her......Not that I am trying to lesson the effect this must have on you both but, you have to balance your need for revenge with the greater need to support your daughter.....As always JMO HOPE SHE GETS WELL SOON.
Totally agree Pat
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The last person that lost control near your daughter, hurt her.
Right now her world is a choatic and violent place.
Be stable for her.
Right now her world is a choatic and violent place.
Be stable for her.
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lexxystar: Oh Lilmama,i cant even begin to imagine what you must be feeling as amother.How one woman who has brought forth life into this world can start to do such to anothers' child beats my understanding! she deserves that and more....and your EX such acoward!If he did have any knoweldge of what was happening to his own child then he has no right to the child!!! Dont ever think your child is safe with anyone!
I feel for you and your daughter, I think your ex has a lot to answer for, he should have protecred his child. Just ensure she is not put in this situation again, of course I know you will. Take out a restraining order against them. Your child needs your love and attention now, to psychologically heal from this assault. Good luck.
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How old is your daughter?
Sounds to me that you have the right now to get a restraining order...if her dad wishes to see her he will have to do it without the step mother.
Disgusting..
Sounds to me that you have the right now to get a restraining order...if her dad wishes to see her he will have to do it without the step mother.
Disgusting..
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Ok. Deep breath.
Always ask yourself, what is in the best interests of the child?
What is in your job description as a mother?
She needs you more now than she has ever done.
You are no use to her if, 1) You are preoccupied with revenge; 2) You are in trouble yourself.
Focus on her needs. Use friends, family, us for your own and keep them separate. If you are in a state, your daughter will take a certain responsibility for that because that's what kids do and she loves you.
That's not to say that you can't express your feelings to your daughter, she must know that you care, but try as much as possible to do it in a controlled way.
Whilst I agree with Pat that kids are resilient, leave the door open for your daughter to express her feelings, both now and maybe in later years. My daughter coped with certain things in one way when they were happening, then in another way later when she was a teenager. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it may take until she is going through her teenage years to realise that her daddy didn't protect her.
I think you probably know all these things that people have said, but sometimes it helps to see things organised in front of you when nothing is organised in your head.
You will both get through this. It WILL pass.
Jac xxx
Always ask yourself, what is in the best interests of the child?
What is in your job description as a mother?
She needs you more now than she has ever done.
You are no use to her if, 1) You are preoccupied with revenge; 2) You are in trouble yourself.
Focus on her needs. Use friends, family, us for your own and keep them separate. If you are in a state, your daughter will take a certain responsibility for that because that's what kids do and she loves you.
That's not to say that you can't express your feelings to your daughter, she must know that you care, but try as much as possible to do it in a controlled way.
Whilst I agree with Pat that kids are resilient, leave the door open for your daughter to express her feelings, both now and maybe in later years. My daughter coped with certain things in one way when they were happening, then in another way later when she was a teenager. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it may take until she is going through her teenage years to realise that her daddy didn't protect her.
I think you probably know all these things that people have said, but sometimes it helps to see things organised in front of you when nothing is organised in your head.
You will both get through this. It WILL pass.
Jac xxx
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lilmamma71: Lord help me, I am just venting right now..so angry can't see straight.
What do you do to someone who would harm a child? Especially if it your own child?
I am so angry I can't even see straight. Ex-husbands current wife, not a nice person.
Long story short..picked up my daughter tonight. Face was smashed into a door frame/jam, Fast forward 5 hours..x-rays, doctors, police, etc. her maxilla is fractured and nose as well.
I'm usually not up this late, but tonight is the exception to the rule.
How in the world am I supposed to keep from retaliating for this happening? You never, ever, ever put your hands on a child, ever.
I don't know who I am more mad at, him for letting her do it, or her for doing it.
Just need some advice and maybe someone to talk me out of the anarchy that has overtaken my senses.
What do you do to someone who would harm a child? Especially if it your own child?
I am so angry I can't even see straight. Ex-husbands current wife, not a nice person.
Long story short..picked up my daughter tonight. Face was smashed into a door frame/jam, Fast forward 5 hours..x-rays, doctors, police, etc. her maxilla is fractured and nose as well.
I'm usually not up this late, but tonight is the exception to the rule.
How in the world am I supposed to keep from retaliating for this happening? You never, ever, ever put your hands on a child, ever.
I don't know who I am more mad at, him for letting her do it, or her for doing it.
Just need some advice and maybe someone to talk me out of the anarchy that has overtaken my senses.
If I were you I'd use my anger energy to research and follow every avenue(including bothering as many official peeps as poss)to alert everyone as to what has happened,and make sure your daughter is not put into contact with this person again.
hugs..
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jac379: Ok. Deep breath.
Always ask yourself, what is in the best interests of the child?
What is in your job description as a mother?
She needs you more now than she has ever done.
You are no use to her if, 1) You are preoccupied with revenge; 2) You are in trouble yourself.
Focus on her needs. Use friends, family, us for your own and keep them separate. If you are in a state, your daughter will take a certain responsibility for that because that's what kids do and she loves you.
That's not to say that you can't express your feelings to your daughter, she must know that you care, but try as much as possible to do it in a controlled way.
Whilst I agree with Pat that kids are resilient, leave the door open for your daughter to express her feelings, both now and maybe in later years. My daughter coped with certain things in one way when they were happening, then in another way later when she was a teenager. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it may take until she is going through her teenage years to realise that her daddy didn't protect her.
I think you probably know all these things that people have said, but sometimes it helps to see things organised in front of you when nothing is organised in your head.
You will both get through this. It WILL pass.
Jac xxx
Always ask yourself, what is in the best interests of the child?
What is in your job description as a mother?
She needs you more now than she has ever done.
You are no use to her if, 1) You are preoccupied with revenge; 2) You are in trouble yourself.
Focus on her needs. Use friends, family, us for your own and keep them separate. If you are in a state, your daughter will take a certain responsibility for that because that's what kids do and she loves you.
That's not to say that you can't express your feelings to your daughter, she must know that you care, but try as much as possible to do it in a controlled way.
Whilst I agree with Pat that kids are resilient, leave the door open for your daughter to express her feelings, both now and maybe in later years. My daughter coped with certain things in one way when they were happening, then in another way later when she was a teenager. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it may take until she is going through her teenage years to realise that her daddy didn't protect her.
I think you probably know all these things that people have said, but sometimes it helps to see things organised in front of you when nothing is organised in your head.
You will both get through this. It WILL pass.
Jac xxx
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jac379: Ok. Deep breath.
Always ask yourself, what is in the best interests of the child?
What is in your job description as a mother?
She needs you more now than she has ever done.
You are no use to her if, 1) You are preoccupied with revenge; 2) You are in trouble yourself.
Focus on her needs. Use friends, family, us for your own and keep them separate. If you are in a state, your daughter will take a certain responsibility for that because that's what kids do and she loves you.
That's not to say that you can't express your feelings to your daughter, she must know that you care, but try as much as possible to do it in a controlled way.
Whilst I agree with Pat that kids are resilient, leave the door open for your daughter to express her feelings, both now and maybe in later years. My daughter coped with certain things in one way when they were happening, then in another way later when she was a teenager. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it may take until she is going through her teenage years to realise that her daddy didn't protect her.
I think you probably know all these things that people have said, but sometimes it helps to see things organised in front of you when nothing is organised in your head.
You will both get through this. It WILL pass.
Jac xxx
Agreed Jac .....The main concern is for her daughter .....The others can be dealt with by the authorities...Always ask yourself, what is in the best interests of the child?
What is in your job description as a mother?
She needs you more now than she has ever done.
You are no use to her if, 1) You are preoccupied with revenge; 2) You are in trouble yourself.
Focus on her needs. Use friends, family, us for your own and keep them separate. If you are in a state, your daughter will take a certain responsibility for that because that's what kids do and she loves you.
That's not to say that you can't express your feelings to your daughter, she must know that you care, but try as much as possible to do it in a controlled way.
Whilst I agree with Pat that kids are resilient, leave the door open for your daughter to express her feelings, both now and maybe in later years. My daughter coped with certain things in one way when they were happening, then in another way later when she was a teenager. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it may take until she is going through her teenage years to realise that her daddy didn't protect her.
I think you probably know all these things that people have said, but sometimes it helps to see things organised in front of you when nothing is organised in your head.
You will both get through this. It WILL pass.
Jac xxx
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patmac: The need for revenge must be huge....But let the police and social services deal with this...Your job now is to support your daughter and help her deal with this in a way that she can get over the trauma without carrying it through her life.An old saying soonest forgotten soonest mended....Might sound flippant but children have a wonderful way of forgetting the bad things in life. Even though you will remember this forever try to put it behind you for her sake......She will always take her lead from you so the more you dwell on it the longer it will stay with her......Not that I am trying to lesson the effect this must have on you both but, you have to balance your need for revenge with the greater need to support your daughter.....As always JMO HOPE SHE GETS WELL SOON.
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well.... we know somewhat where this took place (at least the state and city) but we dont know who yet... so why dont you share names, places, and specific information so that when you testify in court, the defense attorney can tear you apart and impeach your testimony for disclosing facts about a criminal investigation and potentially violating the suspects rights????????
good god... dont yall have a clue that some things are better kept private?????? at least for a while?????
hope your kid recovers quickly and fully !!!!
good god... dont yall have a clue that some things are better kept private?????? at least for a while?????
hope your kid recovers quickly and fully !!!!
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jac379: Ok. Deep breath.
Always ask yourself, what is in the best interests of the child?
What is in your job description as a mother?
She needs you more now than she has ever done.
You are no use to her if, 1) You are preoccupied with revenge; 2) You are in trouble yourself.
Focus on her needs. Use friends, family, us for your own and keep them separate. If you are in a state, your daughter will take a certain responsibility for that because that's what kids do and she loves you.
That's not to say that you can't express your feelings to your daughter, she must know that you care, but try as much as possible to do it in a controlled way.
Whilst I agree with Pat that kids are resilient, leave the door open for your daughter to express her feelings, both now and maybe in later years. My daughter coped with certain things in one way when they were happening, then in another way later when she was a teenager. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it may take until she is going through her teenage years to realise that her daddy didn't protect her.
I think you probably know all these things that people have said, but sometimes it helps to see things organised in front of you when nothing is organised in your head.
You will both get through this. It WILL pass.
Jac xxx
Always ask yourself, what is in the best interests of the child?
What is in your job description as a mother?
She needs you more now than she has ever done.
You are no use to her if, 1) You are preoccupied with revenge; 2) You are in trouble yourself.
Focus on her needs. Use friends, family, us for your own and keep them separate. If you are in a state, your daughter will take a certain responsibility for that because that's what kids do and she loves you.
That's not to say that you can't express your feelings to your daughter, she must know that you care, but try as much as possible to do it in a controlled way.
Whilst I agree with Pat that kids are resilient, leave the door open for your daughter to express her feelings, both now and maybe in later years. My daughter coped with certain things in one way when they were happening, then in another way later when she was a teenager. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it may take until she is going through her teenage years to realise that her daddy didn't protect her.
I think you probably know all these things that people have said, but sometimes it helps to see things organised in front of you when nothing is organised in your head.
You will both get through this. It WILL pass.
Jac xxx
i couldn't give better words of advice or comfort than these lilmamma and as ocee said be stable for her she needs that right now from you. children trust us so much it is more than tragic when someone breaks such trust. try and get a friend on the phone if you can - one that will let you vent for a bit as that will help you gather yourself in a positive way.
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patmac: Agreed Jac .....The main concern is for her daughter .....The others can be dealt with by the authorities...
Yup, that's in their job description.
Although, lilmamma must be feeling her control has been taken away from her with this act of violence towards her daughter and the initial instinct is to take back that control in order to avoid it happening again.
To lilmamma: The fact that this is out in the open, you have involved medics and other authorities means that you ARE back in control.
Jac xxx
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patmac: The need for revenge must be huge....But let the police and social services deal with this...Your job now is to support your daughter and help her deal with this in a way that she can get over the trauma without carrying it through her life.An old saying soonest forgotten soonest mended....Might sound flippant but children have a wonderful way of forgetting the bad things in life. Even though you will remember this forever try to put it behind you for her sake......She will always take her lead from you so the more you dwell on it the longer it will stay with her......Not that I am trying to lesson the effect this must have on you both but, you have to balance your need for revenge with the greater need to support your daughter.....As always JMO HOPE SHE GETS WELL SOON.
Good one Pat.------ This thread is Archived ------
I deal with domestic issues everyday in my line of work and it always find it truely aggrivating when the abused are always protecting the abuser, some of the things I see from day to day can be very sad.
Until the abused stand up to protect themselves and their families, there is always gonna be a situation where somebody gets hurt, I hear it day in day out "but I love them", well it's an answer where I personally would be asking myself, does this person truly love me to be hurting me and my children.
Though the emotional pain will be with her for a while, I really hope your daughter pulls through this experience and your ex partner finally wakes up to the monster he is living with.
Until the abused stand up to protect themselves and their families, there is always gonna be a situation where somebody gets hurt, I hear it day in day out "but I love them", well it's an answer where I personally would be asking myself, does this person truly love me to be hurting me and my children.
Though the emotional pain will be with her for a while, I really hope your daughter pulls through this experience and your ex partner finally wakes up to the monster he is living with.
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What do you do to someone who would harm a child? Especially if it your own child?
I am so angry I can't even see straight. Ex-husbands current wife, not a nice person.
Long story short..picked up my daughter tonight. Face was smashed into a door frame/jam, Fast forward 5 hours..x-rays, doctors, police, etc. her maxilla is fractured and nose as well.
I'm usually not up this late, but tonight is the exception to the rule.
How in the world am I supposed to keep from retaliating for this happening? You never, ever, ever put your hands on a child, ever.
I don't know who I am more mad at, him for letting her do it, or her for doing it.
Just need some advice and maybe someone to talk me out of the anarchy that has overtaken my senses.