WHAT I LEARNT FROM MY MOTHER (43)
UpYourViva: From my mother who used to Run a bed and breakfast....."you treat this house like a bloody hotel, now get out of my sight, and on your way out leave your key at reception"........
Boys/Men obviously don't change all that much!!!!
Mine drive me crazy although I love em to bits! 
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leostartingover: So did mine! I think men's trouser pockets were bigger in those days so they could get up to all sorts of mischief!
CONFUCIOUS SAY MAN WITH HAND IN POCKET FEEL COCKY ALL DAY.....
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Jihadmeathello: Hmmmm, now I know why my Mom desperately wants me to get married and get her some grand kids....
Same here - and I'm gonna get a full dose of that cos she's coming to visit me today!!! First time ever!!
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invinciblemuse: Same here - and I'm gonna get a full dose of that cos she's coming to visit me today!!! First time ever!!
Within hours right?
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invinciblemuse: Same here - and I'm gonna get a full dose of that cos she's coming to visit me today!!! First time ever!!
Wow! That's great IM. Hope you have a wonderful bonding time together!
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UpYourViva: CONFUCIOUS SAY MAN WITH HAND IN POCKET FEEL COCKY ALL DAY.....
HA! I suspected so!!!!
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leostartingover: Wow! That's great IM. Hope you have a wonderful bonding time together!
Thank you!
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leostartingover: Yes it must be international mum-speak, because I definitely heard a few of these when I was growing up!
AWESOME POST!
Yes, I had no idea how international they were. In fact, I am passing a few of these down to my children now from my mother. I think we are all genetically predisposed as mothers to say these things... On this one:
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a cave?'
My mom said "You weren't born in a barn"...which i have obviously said to my 12 year old son...well...almost weekly...
Thanks for the laugh
(at myself
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leostartingover: Rather a cute email I received today:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a cave?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you'
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a cave?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you'
what I learned from my father : piss off you ugly basted ( communication skills)...
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Altina...sorry for your loss...What a good son to mention her in this post.
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You forgot (read in a German accent)...
Don't hum while you are eating, you will marry a drunkard and one day, you are coming home dead in a ditch!
Or was that just my mum?
Jac xxx
Don't hum while you are eating, you will marry a drunkard and one day, you are coming home dead in a ditch!
Or was that just my mum?
Jac xxx
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snowbunnie4U: Altina...sorry for your loss...What a good son to mention her in this post.
hi how are you.
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leostartingover: Rather a cute email I received today:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a cave?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you'
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a cave?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you'
My mother told me: that I had a land, and before putting it into production, I had to be quite sure which animal would I put in the farm to give me good production....
my mother 's here
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Deformed Finger- Hal Sirowitz
Don't stick your finger in the ketchup bottle,
Mother said. It might get stuck, and
then you'll have to wait for your father
to get home and pull it out. He
won't be happy to find a dirty fingernail
squirming in the ketchup that he's going to use
on his hamburger. He'll yank it out so hard
that for the rest of your life you won't
be able to wear a ring on that finger.
And if you ever get a girlfriend, and
you hold hands, she's bound to ask you
why one of your fingers is deformed
and you'll be obligated to tell her how
you didn't listen to your mother, and
insisted on playing with a ketchup bottle,
and she'll get to thinking, He probably won't
listen to me either, and she'll push your hand away.
Don't stick your finger in the ketchup bottle,
Mother said. It might get stuck, and
then you'll have to wait for your father
to get home and pull it out. He
won't be happy to find a dirty fingernail
squirming in the ketchup that he's going to use
on his hamburger. He'll yank it out so hard
that for the rest of your life you won't
be able to wear a ring on that finger.
And if you ever get a girlfriend, and
you hold hands, she's bound to ask you
why one of your fingers is deformed
and you'll be obligated to tell her how
you didn't listen to your mother, and
insisted on playing with a ketchup bottle,
and she'll get to thinking, He probably won't
listen to me either, and she'll push your hand away.
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jac379: Wow.
Jac xxx
Jac xxx
xxx Jac
Thank you Jac
Actually I was just putting together in my mind to write a write about my Mum, to put on the poetry corner, (as you know that's where I hang out most times, well I'm a poet) then seeing this thread, which you know I'm not too keen to jump in to threads. (As much as I have very wicked sense of humor!)
I posted a comment back.
Oh blimey!
Sophia
xx
You always make me feel welcome
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sophiasummer: xxx Jac
Thank you Jac
Actually I was just putting together in my mind to write a write about my Mum, to put on the poetry corner, (as you know that's where I hang out most times, well I'm a poet) then seeing this thread, which you know I'm not too keen to jump in to threads. (As much as I have very wicked sense of humor!)
I posted a comment back.
Oh blimey!
Sophia
xx
You always make me feel welcome
Thank you Jac
Actually I was just putting together in my mind to write a write about my Mum, to put on the poetry corner, (as you know that's where I hang out most times, well I'm a poet) then seeing this thread, which you know I'm not too keen to jump in to threads. (As much as I have very wicked sense of humor!)
I posted a comment back.
Oh blimey!
Sophia
xx
You always make me feel welcome
Well, what you wrote intrigued me and makes me want to know more. Get writing in that poetry corner and I'll take a look. Let me know when you're done.
Keep posting, Sophia...you're unique and always add flavour to the forums.
Jac xxx
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leostartingover: Rather a cute email I received today:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a cave?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you'
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a cave?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you'
Read of this back when i was in college, but 'twas in my language which made me check if the English translation was accurate enough.
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plainlyjune: Read of this back when i was in college, but 'twas in my language which made me check if the English translation was accurate enough.
....and was it?
Some English translations end up being quite hilarious!!! ------ This thread is Archived ------
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I'm sorry.... I still miss mine. As I say to my lil guys - we are joined by an invisible cord... I will always be there with you, and you will always be inside my heart.