Is shyness a choice for mature people? (191)
So.... you want my MSN or not ....
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Boban1: So.... you want my MSN or not ....
being the number 10 one of my absolute favorites...
the answer is definitelly positive...
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Boban1: So.... you want my MSN or not ....
Watch out foer Boban he has 200 women
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Hi ah 
does it depend upon a cultural background or a family environment?Yes to both... I have very outspoken parents who love debating.. especially politics
These days I tend to consider anothers reaction to a statement made, therefore I cover what I am thinking with just a smile.
But.... I dont think people are as shy as they seem... so people just sit on the fence and scheme... they are not shy in the mind..
but i am personally under an impression that, for some mature individuals, shyness is a rational, chosen behaviour and in such cases maturity won't bring change...
Yes, its a grand way of hedging your bets...
JMO
does it depend upon a cultural background or a family environment?Yes to both... I have very outspoken parents who love debating.. especially politics
These days I tend to consider anothers reaction to a statement made, therefore I cover what I am thinking with just a smile.
But.... I dont think people are as shy as they seem... so people just sit on the fence and scheme... they are not shy in the mind..
but i am personally under an impression that, for some mature individuals, shyness is a rational, chosen behaviour and in such cases maturity won't bring change...
Yes, its a grand way of hedging your bets...
JMO
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Merriweather: Hi ah
does it depend upon a cultural background or a family environment?Yes to both... I have very outspoken parents who love debating.. especially politics
These days I tend to consider anothers reaction to a statement made, therefore I cover what I am thinking with just a smile.
But.... I dont think people are as shy as they seem... so people just sit on the fence and scheme... they are not shy in the mind.. but i am personally under an impression that, for some mature individuals, shyness is a rational, chosen behaviour and in such cases maturity won't bring change...
Yes, its a grand way of hedging your bets...
JMO
does it depend upon a cultural background or a family environment?Yes to both... I have very outspoken parents who love debating.. especially politics
These days I tend to consider anothers reaction to a statement made, therefore I cover what I am thinking with just a smile.
But.... I dont think people are as shy as they seem... so people just sit on the fence and scheme... they are not shy in the mind.. but i am personally under an impression that, for some mature individuals, shyness is a rational, chosen behaviour and in such cases maturity won't bring change...
Yes, its a grand way of hedging your bets...
JMO
hi merry,
great statement...this is very very close to what i think about it...
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Boban1: Same here , and Im not joking about it ...
I guessed as much.
I hate the fact that I blush, most of all - I often wish my skin wasn't so goddam pale!
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lucynad: morning hubby,
yes..what i am curious about is if this kind of behaviour is related to the age...
while in their 20s people are more supposed to be shy, socially or in love, but what if they are that way in their 40s or 50s...
because it is their choice...that is, somewhat, comfortable for them...
yes..what i am curious about is if this kind of behaviour is related to the age...
while in their 20s people are more supposed to be shy, socially or in love, but what if they are that way in their 40s or 50s...
because it is their choice...that is, somewhat, comfortable for them...
What is Shyness?
Shyness is not a medical disorder, but rather a behavior pattern or personality trait – some individuals are more introverted than others – and this may stem from as far back as childhood. Shyness can also be defined in technical terms – such as anxiety felt in social situations. A person who is shy may avoid meeting new people, confronting new situations or having attention on them.
What Causes Shyness?
Shyness can be genetic or caused by social experiences that a person may have had. While some people may overcome their shyness with age, for others extreme shyness may lead to social phobia, or anxiety in adulthood. Individuals may avoid working in an office, or avoid social situations at all costs.
While common and mild shyness may result in physical symptoms, such as blushing, or stammering – extreme shyness can be accompanied by panic attacks – causing symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, nausea and shaking. Conventional drugs to alleviate shyness include Paxil and various antidepressants in the SSRI group. However, these drugs come with certain side effects and are not suitable for children who suffer with shyness.
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lucynad: hi merry,
great statement...this is very very close to what i think about it...
great statement...this is very very close to what i think about it...
Hi Lucyn
In Italy, there is a saying ... about people who are shy... are always scheming and growning their ideas underground... like potatoes... It does not translate well in english...
Its not a particularly flattering statement... but tis the way it's expressed over there...
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tomcatwarne: What is Shyness?
Shyness is not a medical disorder, but rather a behavior pattern or personality trait – some individuals are more introverted than others – and this may stem from as far back as childhood. Shyness can also be defined in technical terms – such as anxiety felt in social situations. A person who is shy may avoid meeting new people, confronting new situations or having attention on them.
What Causes Shyness?
Shyness can be genetic or caused by social experiences that a person may have had. While some people may overcome their shyness with age, for others extreme shyness may lead to social phobia, or anxiety in adulthood. Individuals may avoid working in an office, or avoid social situations at all costs.
While common and mild shyness may result in physical symptoms, such as blushing, or stammering – extreme shyness can be accompanied by panic attacks – causing symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, nausea and shaking. Conventional drugs to alleviate shyness include Paxil and various antidepressants in the SSRI group. However, these drugs come with certain side effects and are not suitable for children who suffer with shyness.
Shyness is not a medical disorder, but rather a behavior pattern or personality trait – some individuals are more introverted than others – and this may stem from as far back as childhood. Shyness can also be defined in technical terms – such as anxiety felt in social situations. A person who is shy may avoid meeting new people, confronting new situations or having attention on them.
What Causes Shyness?
Shyness can be genetic or caused by social experiences that a person may have had. While some people may overcome their shyness with age, for others extreme shyness may lead to social phobia, or anxiety in adulthood. Individuals may avoid working in an office, or avoid social situations at all costs.
While common and mild shyness may result in physical symptoms, such as blushing, or stammering – extreme shyness can be accompanied by panic attacks – causing symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, nausea and shaking. Conventional drugs to alleviate shyness include Paxil and various antidepressants in the SSRI group. However, these drugs come with certain side effects and are not suitable for children who suffer with shyness.
Any more info on this, Tom?
A friend told me, a colleague of hers did her Ph.D on the social function of shyness...I said I wanted to read this, as I'll be damned if I can work out what the social function is!
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Boban1: Same here , and Im not joking about it ...
I know... but you are much better than a year ago... at least you appear to be by what you post ...
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Merriweather: Hi Lucyn
In Italy, there is a saying ... about people who are shy... are always scheming and growning their ideas underground... like potatoes... It does not translate well in english...
Its not a particularly flattering statement... but tis the way it's expressed over there...
In Italy, there is a saying ... about people who are shy... are always scheming and growning their ideas underground... like potatoes... It does not translate well in english...
Its not a particularly flattering statement... but tis the way it's expressed over there...
lol
i don't know that statement...
i know the saying "you are a patato" to define a clumsy person but it is a nice statement..not at all offending---
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jac379: Any more info on this, Tom?
A friend told me, a colleague of hers did her Ph.D on the social function of shyness...I said I wanted to read this, as I'll be damned if I can work out what the social function is!
A friend told me, a colleague of hers did her Ph.D on the social function of shyness...I said I wanted to read this, as I'll be damned if I can work out what the social function is!
We can look to Nature for a solution – as many herbal and homeopathic remedies utilize all natural ingredients to soothe nerves and promote calmness in the mind and body. Herbs such as Melissa officinalis, Lavender and Passiflora incarnata have been used for centuries to calm ‘butterflies in the tummy’ and restore calmed nerves.
Homeopathic ingredients can work at a cellular level to address acute symptoms such as shaking and sweating. Gelsemium, for example suits those who do not like the limelight and is commonly used for treatment of stage fright. Chocolatum suits individuals who experience an acute awareness of their heart, either because it is beating too fast, too slowly or irregularly. Silica is particularly useful for shy children who tend to suffer with nervous exhaustion.
Re wiki
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Merriweather: Hi Lucyn
In Italy, there is a saying ... about people who are shy... are always scheming and growning their ideas underground... like potatoes... It does not translate well in english...
Its not a particularly flattering statement... but tis the way it's expressed over there...
In Italy, there is a saying ... about people who are shy... are always scheming and growning their ideas underground... like potatoes... It does not translate well in english...
Its not a particularly flattering statement... but tis the way it's expressed over there...
That's preposterous!
I think that only serves to knock confidence further.
(I know its not your statement, Merri...I'm not having a go at you
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tomcatwarne: We can look to Nature for a solution – as many herbal and homeopathic remedies utilize all natural ingredients to soothe nerves and promote calmness in the mind and body. Herbs such as Melissa officinalis, Lavender and Passiflora incarnata have been used for centuries to calm ‘butterflies in the tummy’ and restore calmed nerves.
Homeopathic ingredients can work at a cellular level to address acute symptoms such as shaking and sweating. Gelsemium, for example suits those who do not like the limelight and is commonly used for treatment of stage fright. Chocolatum suits individuals who experience an acute awareness of their heart, either because it is beating too fast, too slowly or irregularly. Silica is particularly useful for shy children who tend to suffer with nervous exhaustion.
Re wiki
Homeopathic ingredients can work at a cellular level to address acute symptoms such as shaking and sweating. Gelsemium, for example suits those who do not like the limelight and is commonly used for treatment of stage fright. Chocolatum suits individuals who experience an acute awareness of their heart, either because it is beating too fast, too slowly or irregularly. Silica is particularly useful for shy children who tend to suffer with nervous exhaustion.
Re wiki
I was thinking more of the genetic causes of shyness, but this is interesting as I'm rather fond of lavender and melissa (marigold in English?)
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lucynad:
the choice thing is that it happened to me see some people that are not shy by any means choose to be shy in some determined situations...
the choice thing is that it happened to me see some people that are not shy by any means choose to be shy in some determined situations...
When you say choose to be shy, do you mean they feign shyness as a strategy to ingratiate themselves?
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Merriweather: I know... but you are much better than a year ago... at least you appear to be by what you post ...
Im evolving ..... or... I`ve become more cunning....
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jac379:
I hate the fact that I blush, most of all - I often wish my skin wasn't so goddam pale!
I hate the fact that I blush, most of all - I often wish my skin wasn't so goddam pale!
Hi Jac
I would never have guessed that you were shy... You do hide it well.
I cognitively read the op's post as the 'shyness' that I described meaning purposeful shyness which covers a range of strategic planning by the person who purposefully acts shy...
This type of 'shyness that I was referring to is obvioulsy not your 'type of shyness.'.
I guess there are people who have not accepted who or what they are and will perceive that others wont either... therefore they are at unease socially...
I sort of was not thinking along those lines... I am not shy at all... opposite in fact.. and of course, I hang with people like myself. my life situations determined that shyness would never enter my sphere... I just could not have coped if I had of been shy... mind you... there are huge pitfalls in being outspoken too... ( foot in mouth emot)
Good luck chick, wishing you the best...
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tomcatwarne: When you say choose to be shy, do you mean they feign shyness as a strategy to ingratiate themselves?
yes...
because shyness is not a negative feature...especially for the others...
while it can be an issue for a really shy persons..
but it also denotes sensibility, care for others...
and as such can be used by some as a mean to gain a favour or make someone take a decition
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jac379: Any more info on this, Tom?
A friend told me, a colleague of hers did her Ph.D on the social function of shyness...I said I wanted to read this, as I'll be damned if I can work out what the social function is!
A friend told me, a colleague of hers did her Ph.D on the social function of shyness...I said I wanted to read this, as I'll be damned if I can work out what the social function is!
This may help Jac.
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the topic is kinda vast so i will try to possibly limit it to some chosen points...
the same definition of shyness is hard...
does it depend upon a cultural background or a family environment?
we can all be shy in certain situations...
but it is supposed to be overcome with age...
maturity usually fosters change, people learn to cope with...
and this would mean that being shy is a passing phase..belonging to the growing process and that should be outgrow at some stage...
maturity is supposed to bring the confidence both socially and verbally...
but i am personally under an impression that, for some mature individuals, shyness is a rational, chosen behaviour and in such cases maturity won't bring change...
as for dating....
shy people will probably prefer Internet to meet other people as it avoids them the face-to-face contact of an initial interaction...
disclaimer and side note: while composing posts in english i have to digg back and forth threw the dictionary...english is not my working language and i have learned it a bit only recently...it often happens that i read the message of an OP where there are no answers, click on "answer the post" option and compose my answer and after i have finished...i see (in horror
and now...
may St.Jerome, patron saint of translators, assist me...