Please help me understand what I did wrong ! (139)
who says long distance doesn't work?
Hey look, last year I was in the same situation, I flew * times to singapore to see her, but then she dumpued me , cut her phone and shut her e mail address..
and so many trips , put me is a devastating finncial situatuion..
My advice:
get out before he gets out.
2- never ever get in a relationship with a singaporian,
they have a frightening culture frightening
Hey look, last year I was in the same situation, I flew * times to singapore to see her, but then she dumpued me , cut her phone and shut her e mail address..
and so many trips , put me is a devastating finncial situatuion..
My advice:
get out before he gets out.
2- never ever get in a relationship with a singaporian,
they have a frightening culture frightening
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lifejoy: Wed and thursday if he calls me or I call him ..he is tired, talks for a few minutes on the phone and makes me feel bad that he is tired and ready to drop off to sleep...........gives me the impression he is already in his bed ............then the next day i find out that he was up till wee hours of the morning playing video games and he is having a hard time at work because he is tired and suffering the effects of his late nights.
I feel bad...i feel neglected and stupid when he tells me . It makes me angry that I am missing him so much and I make so many sacrifices to be with him and I treat him with kindness and consideration. I do not think I am being treated fairly and it hurts.
He recently told me how much he loves me and how much I mean to him via texting after I called him that same evening twice and he ignored my calls because he was drinking.
He started texting me when he was drunk professing his undying love and I told him it meant nothing to me if he is drunk when he says these things and then cant remember what he said the very next day. It angered me and I felt hurt.
I just cant understand how he could say he loves me so much, tells me all these nice things when he is drunk and then when he is sober treats me with less consideration .
I just dont know what wo believe or do.
I love him and its killing me.
Am I being stupid ????
You talk to much.I feel bad...i feel neglected and stupid when he tells me . It makes me angry that I am missing him so much and I make so many sacrifices to be with him and I treat him with kindness and consideration. I do not think I am being treated fairly and it hurts.
He recently told me how much he loves me and how much I mean to him via texting after I called him that same evening twice and he ignored my calls because he was drinking.
He started texting me when he was drunk professing his undying love and I told him it meant nothing to me if he is drunk when he says these things and then cant remember what he said the very next day. It angered me and I felt hurt.
I just cant understand how he could say he loves me so much, tells me all these nice things when he is drunk and then when he is sober treats me with less consideration .
I just dont know what wo believe or do.
I love him and its killing me.
Am I being stupid ????
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If you haven't already, please make the time to watch the film, "He's Just Not That Into You"....it is difficult to let go of those feeling we've built up for a person, even when feel instinctively that some things "just aren't right".
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lifejoy: Thank you !
u did nothing wrong. the problem is u did everything right i think to keep the relationship
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Girl he is using you for your money and emotions.
It isn't worth it. find someone that will appreciate you for who you are.
Long distance relationships always have the unknown uncertainty.
Meaning you do not know what he is doing what his routine is or if he is true to you.
from my experience if someone long distance loves you and wants you they don't react like the guy your trying to be with.
so take some advice - move on
It isn't worth it. find someone that will appreciate you for who you are.
Long distance relationships always have the unknown uncertainty.
Meaning you do not know what he is doing what his routine is or if he is true to you.
from my experience if someone long distance loves you and wants you they don't react like the guy your trying to be with.
so take some advice - move on
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silverman1981: who says long distance doesn't work?
Hey look, last year I was in the same situation, I flew * times to singapore to see her, but then she dumpued me , cut her phone and shut her e mail address..
and so many trips , put me is a devastating finncial situatuion..
My advice:
get out before he gets out.
2- never ever get in a relationship with a singaporian,
they have a frightening culture frightening
Hey look, last year I was in the same situation, I flew * times to singapore to see her, but then she dumpued me , cut her phone and shut her e mail address..
and so many trips , put me is a devastating finncial situatuion..
My advice:
get out before he gets out.
2- never ever get in a relationship with a singaporian,
they have a frightening culture frightening
Heji, I feel bad for you, I know it was very mean and a mature person would not go so far and then dump another person without any explanation.....
Hope you will find someone more sincere and better soon:) just take it easy and don't allow again anyone to put you in that position.
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lifejoy: I join this site after quitting another site like this which I have been a member for 4 years.
I have not posted a pic because I am not looking for a relationship right now.
My reason for joining this site is to share my experience and to get some unbiased advise about on a situation I am presently going through
I have been in a long distance relationship for just over two years . We met online and after 6 months of chatting I went to see him. To date I have made about 10 trips all expenses paid by me to make this relationship happen and to spend some time with him. Yes, I fell inlove with him and I fell hard. However, I am not realising I might have fallen inlove with someone he presented himself to be and the real person I am in love with does not exist.
These trips entailed me taking time away from my job, my children and spending lots of money on airfares and accommodation ex penses.
Am I wrong to be upset if my boyfriend tells me on the phone that he wants to go to bed because he is tired and needs to be up early for work the next day, then rushes me off the phone and is up for another three/four hours playing a video game.
Am I wrong to be upset if every Friday he is not available to talk to me for the whole evening because he wants to drink and play his guitar and video games and cant be bothered that I am missing him and wants to at least hear his voice for a few minutes. Even if its just to say goodnight and not by text ? And ignores my calls and text.
When we first started talking he said he didnt drink, that he used to and he gave it up. He said he was trying to quit smoking. I made it specifically clear that I was not interested in anyone who smokes and drinks excessively . Drinking socially or occasionally isnt a problem . However, its almost three years later and he has not quit smoking, he still drinks almost four/five times a week . On his own at home. And alot of our issues are as a result of his drinking.
I visited him once and he drank every night I was there. Got drunk every night for that week.
We live in two separate countries. Communication via telephone and the net is all we have. I have made it possible for him to contact me by having the convenience of a mobile service that is of very minimal cost to him, so that we could text each other and not cost him a fortune for international texting . I pay the bulk of it. When i visit him I take care of anything i need on my own financially. I have not put any pressure on him at all.
Its like even though we are thousands of miles apart, I am always begging for his time and attention. I do not understand how one could be in a long distant relationship and not want to talk to each his or her g/friend/b/friend ?
He complains constantly of being tired. On saturdays and sundays he has his daughter so I do not contact him and if I do its very rare and maybe just to say hi if I am missing him. I respect the time with his daughter. When she leaves sunday nite , he may call and chat for a few minutes. Then monday he works, during the day we may text each other back and forth during work. Sometimes he calls I am getting dinner ready for my children or doing homework with them I still would take time to talk to him.
Tuesdays I may get few text during the day during work, but I do not hear from him at all after because he has a personal committment .
I have not posted a pic because I am not looking for a relationship right now.
My reason for joining this site is to share my experience and to get some unbiased advise about on a situation I am presently going through
I have been in a long distance relationship for just over two years . We met online and after 6 months of chatting I went to see him. To date I have made about 10 trips all expenses paid by me to make this relationship happen and to spend some time with him. Yes, I fell inlove with him and I fell hard. However, I am not realising I might have fallen inlove with someone he presented himself to be and the real person I am in love with does not exist.
These trips entailed me taking time away from my job, my children and spending lots of money on airfares and accommodation ex penses.
Am I wrong to be upset if my boyfriend tells me on the phone that he wants to go to bed because he is tired and needs to be up early for work the next day, then rushes me off the phone and is up for another three/four hours playing a video game.
Am I wrong to be upset if every Friday he is not available to talk to me for the whole evening because he wants to drink and play his guitar and video games and cant be bothered that I am missing him and wants to at least hear his voice for a few minutes. Even if its just to say goodnight and not by text ? And ignores my calls and text.
When we first started talking he said he didnt drink, that he used to and he gave it up. He said he was trying to quit smoking. I made it specifically clear that I was not interested in anyone who smokes and drinks excessively . Drinking socially or occasionally isnt a problem . However, its almost three years later and he has not quit smoking, he still drinks almost four/five times a week . On his own at home. And alot of our issues are as a result of his drinking.
I visited him once and he drank every night I was there. Got drunk every night for that week.
We live in two separate countries. Communication via telephone and the net is all we have. I have made it possible for him to contact me by having the convenience of a mobile service that is of very minimal cost to him, so that we could text each other and not cost him a fortune for international texting . I pay the bulk of it. When i visit him I take care of anything i need on my own financially. I have not put any pressure on him at all.
Its like even though we are thousands of miles apart, I am always begging for his time and attention. I do not understand how one could be in a long distant relationship and not want to talk to each his or her g/friend/b/friend ?
He complains constantly of being tired. On saturdays and sundays he has his daughter so I do not contact him and if I do its very rare and maybe just to say hi if I am missing him. I respect the time with his daughter. When she leaves sunday nite , he may call and chat for a few minutes. Then monday he works, during the day we may text each other back and forth during work. Sometimes he calls I am getting dinner ready for my children or doing homework with them I still would take time to talk to him.
Tuesdays I may get few text during the day during work, but I do not hear from him at all after because he has a personal committment .
You need to run as if a pack of wild dogs are after you and once you are in safe zone don't look even in that direction...
Learn to love yourself and you shall find someone to love you soon
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yea dump him
he doesnt deserve you
he doesnt deserve you
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Steve5721: It's a ONE sided relationship AND you are paying for it.
Unfortunately true. ------ This thread is Archived ------
WOW! I felt so sorry for you, until you said you take time out for him when you are supposed to be cooking or doing homework with your kids! YOU SELFISH COW! ALL THE MONEY YOU HAVE WASTED ON THAT LOOSER, WITH FLIGHTS ECT SHOULD HAVE BEEN USED FOR YOUR KID'S. 
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julsangel: WOW! I felt so sorry for you, until you said you take time out for him when you are supposed to be cooking or doing homework with your kids! YOU SELFISH COW! ALL THE MONEY YOU HAVE WASTED ON THAT LOOSER, WITH FLIGHTS ECT SHOULD HAVE BEEN USED FOR YOUR KID'S.
Thank u sis, tell her. No wonder the kids rebel against their parents cos they see she hasn't got time for them.
leave her let her go and waste her time, space and resources on some loser...
To be honest, i don't think she'll listen to any1. As soon as she hears his voice that will be it she'll go running back.
Please don't leave him, i think he loves u very, very much and his life is dedicated to u as ur's is to him..
Pls note he loves u dearly...
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LIFEJOY
This relationship is taking All the energy From you. It is not giving you anything in return except hurt, anger, pain, rejection, expenses, bills, sleepless nights, and constant worry....Worry about an alcoholic, who also smokes, and lie to you about not doing both. You may Cancel the mobIle phone, or change the number, and be unavailable as much as possible should he try to contact you.
You deserve much better and there are guys who can treat you far better than this!
This relationship is taking All the energy From you. It is not giving you anything in return except hurt, anger, pain, rejection, expenses, bills, sleepless nights, and constant worry....Worry about an alcoholic, who also smokes, and lie to you about not doing both. You may Cancel the mobIle phone, or change the number, and be unavailable as much as possible should he try to contact you.
You deserve much better and there are guys who can treat you far better than this!
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StillOfTheNight: No hun, you are not being stupid
You just need to look inside yourself and hear what your heart is telling you. You already know what you feel, you just need to follow it.
You just need to look inside yourself and hear what your heart is telling you. You already know what you feel, you just need to follow it.
I agree...not stupid...just fell for the wrong man. I've been there done that...mine only cost me 10 plus thousand
You know the answer, you want advice...move on and do it quickly.
Lots of luck to ya!
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MizKyGal: I agree...not stupid...just fell for the wrong man. I've been there done that...mine only cost me 10 plus thousand
You know the answer, you want advice...move on and do it quickly.
Lots of luck to ya!
You know the answer, you want advice...move on and do it quickly.
Lots of luck to ya!
wouhhh
that was a big lost
I have been contacted a few times before by some chicks that
I'm not really sure if I would be attracted,so I don't
allowed them to flight away and spend a fortune just so see
me or be with me
women, should make the right choice
ask a thousand questions
hire a spyer and a lawyer to protect them selves
but don't ask for credic cards or bank accounts
as the ones after me
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Sailfree: Time to move on honey!!
Don't waste you time on this looser! You are better than that.
All the very best!
Don't waste you time on this looser! You are better than that.
All the very best!
Exactly what l was thinking.------ This thread is Archived ------
GET OUT NOW!!!! Why do you want to put yourself through this. You are clinging on to something that is not there. The relationship is never going to work, not to mention the guy lives in another country. Seriously, this relationship is one sided. Life is tooooo short, you need to find someone with a little more energy, and someone a little closer. Just one mans opinion.
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lifejoy: I join this site after quitting another site like this which I have been a member for 4 years.
I have not posted a pic because I am not looking for a relationship right now.
My reason for joining this site is to share my experience and to get some unbiased advise about on a situation I am presently going through
I have been in a long distance relationship for just over two years . We met online and after 6 months of chatting I went to see him. To date I have made about 10 trips all expenses paid by me to make this relationship happen and to spend some time with him. Yes, I fell inlove with him and I fell hard. However, I am not realising I might have fallen inlove with someone he presented himself to be and the real person I am in love with does not exist.
These trips entailed me taking time away from my job, my children and spending lots of money on airfares and accommodation ex penses.
Am I wrong to be upset if my boyfriend tells me on the phone that he wants to go to bed because he is tired and needs to be up early for work the next day, then rushes me off the phone and is up for another three/four hours playing a video game.
Am I wrong to be upset if every Friday he is not available to talk to me for the whole evening because he wants to drink and play his guitar and video games and cant be bothered that I am missing him and wants to at least hear his voice for a few minutes. Even if its just to say goodnight and not by text ? And ignores my calls and text.
When we first started talking he said he didnt drink, that he used to and he gave it up. He said he was trying to quit smoking. I made it specifically clear that I was not interested in anyone who smokes and drinks excessively . Drinking socially or occasionally isnt a problem . However, its almost three years later and he has not quit smoking, he still drinks almost four/five times a week . On his own at home. And alot of our issues are as a result of his drinking.
I visited him once and he drank every night I was there. Got drunk every night for that week.
We live in two separate countries. Communication via telephone and the net is all we have. I have made it possible for him to contact me by having the convenience of a mobile service that is of very minimal cost to him, so that we could text each other and not cost him a fortune for international texting . I pay the bulk of it. When i visit him I take care of anything i need on my own financially. I have not put any pressure on him at all.
Its like even though we are thousands of miles apart, I am always begging for his time and attention. I do not understand how one could be in a long distant relationship and not want to talk to each his or her g/friend/b/friend ?
He complains constantly of being tired. On saturdays and sundays he has his daughter so I do not contact him and if I do its very rare and maybe just to say hi if I am missing him. I respect the time with his daughter. When she leaves sunday nite , he may call and chat for a few minutes. Then monday he works, during the day we may text each other back and forth during work. Sometimes he calls I am getting dinner ready for my children or doing homework with them I still would take time to talk to him.
Tuesdays I may get few text during the day during work, but I do not hear from him at all after because he has a personal committment .
Read the writting on the wall, you already know the answer, dump the bumb.I have not posted a pic because I am not looking for a relationship right now.
My reason for joining this site is to share my experience and to get some unbiased advise about on a situation I am presently going through
I have been in a long distance relationship for just over two years . We met online and after 6 months of chatting I went to see him. To date I have made about 10 trips all expenses paid by me to make this relationship happen and to spend some time with him. Yes, I fell inlove with him and I fell hard. However, I am not realising I might have fallen inlove with someone he presented himself to be and the real person I am in love with does not exist.
These trips entailed me taking time away from my job, my children and spending lots of money on airfares and accommodation ex penses.
Am I wrong to be upset if my boyfriend tells me on the phone that he wants to go to bed because he is tired and needs to be up early for work the next day, then rushes me off the phone and is up for another three/four hours playing a video game.
Am I wrong to be upset if every Friday he is not available to talk to me for the whole evening because he wants to drink and play his guitar and video games and cant be bothered that I am missing him and wants to at least hear his voice for a few minutes. Even if its just to say goodnight and not by text ? And ignores my calls and text.
When we first started talking he said he didnt drink, that he used to and he gave it up. He said he was trying to quit smoking. I made it specifically clear that I was not interested in anyone who smokes and drinks excessively . Drinking socially or occasionally isnt a problem . However, its almost three years later and he has not quit smoking, he still drinks almost four/five times a week . On his own at home. And alot of our issues are as a result of his drinking.
I visited him once and he drank every night I was there. Got drunk every night for that week.
We live in two separate countries. Communication via telephone and the net is all we have. I have made it possible for him to contact me by having the convenience of a mobile service that is of very minimal cost to him, so that we could text each other and not cost him a fortune for international texting . I pay the bulk of it. When i visit him I take care of anything i need on my own financially. I have not put any pressure on him at all.
Its like even though we are thousands of miles apart, I am always begging for his time and attention. I do not understand how one could be in a long distant relationship and not want to talk to each his or her g/friend/b/friend ?
He complains constantly of being tired. On saturdays and sundays he has his daughter so I do not contact him and if I do its very rare and maybe just to say hi if I am missing him. I respect the time with his daughter. When she leaves sunday nite , he may call and chat for a few minutes. Then monday he works, during the day we may text each other back and forth during work. Sometimes he calls I am getting dinner ready for my children or doing homework with them I still would take time to talk to him.
Tuesdays I may get few text during the day during work, but I do not hear from him at all after because he has a personal committment .
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I was going to let this thread die, but I think it would be remiss of me not to thank you all for your words of advise and wisdom imparted.
I have moved on, I have not any contact with the individual for months now and I have severed whatever open lines of communication that were left .
I may have come across as naive and stupid, maybe even selfish but I am not. I gave this relationship all the chances possible to make it work for one reason and one reason only , LOVE, I truly fell inlove with him and loved him right to the end, even though I found out after meet him he was no the person he presented himself to be . I accepted him with his flaws and he knew that and was appreciative of the fact that rather than giving up on him and the relationship, I took the time to understand and get to know him.
Anyways, when one can see clearly that he/she is the only person making sacrifices and is willing to go the extra mile and that consideration is not reciprocated then yes its time to move out and move on.
SO I did that. Do I have regrets, NO ! I have learned a valuable lesson and I will not allow anyone to have that much power over my emotions again. I am doing well and I am happy.
Thank you all for your kinds words and to the lady that thinks I'm a "selfish cow" thanks to you too. You gave your honest opinion and I appreciate that.
I am a good mother and my children and well cared for and taken care of and very LOVED by me.
Thanks
I have moved on, I have not any contact with the individual for months now and I have severed whatever open lines of communication that were left .
I may have come across as naive and stupid, maybe even selfish but I am not. I gave this relationship all the chances possible to make it work for one reason and one reason only , LOVE, I truly fell inlove with him and loved him right to the end, even though I found out after meet him he was no the person he presented himself to be . I accepted him with his flaws and he knew that and was appreciative of the fact that rather than giving up on him and the relationship, I took the time to understand and get to know him.
Anyways, when one can see clearly that he/she is the only person making sacrifices and is willing to go the extra mile and that consideration is not reciprocated then yes its time to move out and move on.
SO I did that. Do I have regrets, NO ! I have learned a valuable lesson and I will not allow anyone to have that much power over my emotions again. I am doing well and I am happy.
Thank you all for your kinds words and to the lady that thinks I'm a "selfish cow" thanks to you too. You gave your honest opinion and I appreciate that.
I am a good mother and my children and well cared for and taken care of and very LOVED by me.
Thanks
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I feel bad...i feel neglected and stupid when he tells me . It makes me angry that I am missing him so much and I make so many sacrifices to be with him and I treat him with kindness and consideration. I do not think I am being treated fairly and it hurts.
He recently told me how much he loves me and how much I mean to him via texting after I called him that same evening twice and he ignored my calls because he was drinking.
He started texting me when he was drunk professing his undying love and I told him it meant nothing to me if he is drunk when he says these things and then cant remember what he said the very next day. It angered me and I felt hurt.
I just cant understand how he could say he loves me so much, tells me all these nice things when he is drunk and then when he is sober treats me with less consideration .
I just dont know what wo believe or do.
I love him and its killing me.
Am I being stupid ????
His Drinking is his problem,don't make it yours!