Messenger Relationships??? ( Archived) (47)

Not at all...

My point is you don't have to be glued to messenger to chat to someone.

You guys are bad...

I think you misunderstood what I was trying to get at.

First, I welcome live conversation the most, telephone next, and emails (or written letters) third. Especially for the purpose of trying to get to know someone new.

Having said that, I must also say yes, I do believe that written communication holds the most potential for conveying things that may be otherwise hard to discuss live. It gives the author a chance to choose the best wording to covey their thoughts most clearly, and I'm a firm believer in reading and re-writing your own thoughts to convey them in the best possible way. Often what you start out to say in several pages can be reduced to a single clear-cut paragraph, but that several-page original document was still necessary for the process of collecting your thoughts. The reader also has more time to disgust and think about what's been said before responding in a like manner.

I think a lot of couples should maintain a constant "background communication" via something like letters, or journals that they share with each other. Very few couples actually do this, and because of this they miss out on a ton of communication that ultimately never takes place verbally, or will often end in misunderstandings and/or arguments when it does. Basically, when you talk live, you are brainstorming whilst simultaneously trying to communicate.

So yes, I believe that everyone can potentially communicate better via writing than via verbal communication. So this is more of an overall philosophy I have rather than something I feel is specific to only me.

My best friend is a guy who I chatted with for a long time before we ever met. He is a great guy and we talk openly about everything and then some. After talking for about 2 year on line and on the phone we finally met. Before I met him I thought I could be attracted to him then I met him and found that he just wasn't the type of guy I wanted to have any more of a relationship with then friendship. Not because I don't find him attractive but because I know him to well and I know his issues and he knows mine. We still have a great friendship and I would trust him with anything even my son and to trust someone that much is a big thing for me.

I think you can fall into deep like with someone on IM and have someone I do like a lot who I think we will meet soon but that has been a long time coming.

Best of luck to you Wikked.

It sounds like you did fall in love through messenger..."friendship love" and something meaningful did come out of it.

Sometimes people make better friends than lovers...

Some people can talk themselves or be talked into anything.
How about people who write to prisoners and "fall in love" and get married to a death row inmate?

LDR's are not for me.

Yeah, isn't that bizarre? Strange on many levels. I think there are some serious mental issues going on in those situations.

It is odd...I think they are fascinated with bad boys.

The goal is to use it as a tool to meet someone...You never know if it is going to work without meeting them and seeing how well you do in person.

I don't see how.

There is no physical presense. No chance for that sudden magnetic feeling that leads to the first kiss.

No way to 'feel' the persons truth.

I have to tell you about a friend of mine who met her husband in a chat room and are now married and have a child to gether. She fell in love with him from the things he said and then met him. I do think you have to meet someone to truely be in love with them.

It is funny that this is a topic. I am pretty shy in person until someone gets to know me. I feel more comfortable with my sense of humor on here then I do sometimes in person unless I know you well or if you are part of my family. I think sometimes it is easier to let your guard down when nobody is watching you. My example is I talk to a guy and have for a long time he came on-line one evening and I IMed him with "what's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?" I would not normaly say that to someone in person unless I really knew them well. It turned out not to be him but his friend who was over and didn't know he had messanger on untel I said something. I was a little embarrased that someone else that I didn't know at all had gotten that message. We ended up having a long conversation and some of the things that were said got a little twisted but it sometimes easier to be the way you want people to see you on here then who you might be in person.
Does that seem true for anyone else?