What If It Was Not Yours? (125)
morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK87 Threads 8,237 PostsVeritaas: This post says it all. The rest well, no comment.
I agree and nice to see you back, not really anyone else's business to poke their nose in, It's between the people involved and real friends who want to be supportive would be there regardless of the decision made. jmo 
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Having been cheated on in the past i wondered if my youngest son was mine, he is.looks just like me and his brother. but i would bring the child up as my own its not its thought how it was created all life is precious and if he still loves this woman maybe they can finda way to be happy as a family
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maryrachelle: I told him he should leave before this child is even born.Why take on another mans responsibility?
Becuse it's a child, not an over due credit card.
maryrachelle: Recently, a family member found out that his child is not really his child. He's been with this woman for years and he is hurt and shocked.He probably would of remained in the dark forever if not for amnio done.It seems they can do paternity testing through this.The only reason she told him is because the bio dad is black and there would be no way she can pass off this new baby as his.
...but he should leave.
She doesn't love him, and staying and raising her baby
isn't going to make her love him.
After years of calling her child his, she will eventually
leave him and what was always hers, will be hers again.
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morgan5: I agree and nice to see you back, not really anyone else's business to poke their nose in, It's between the people involved and real friends who want to be supportive would be there regardless of the decision made. jmo
It's hardly poking your nose in when this person is constantly coming to you with this problem,talking about it and asking what he should do.
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Tomcats2: Having been cheated on in the past i wondered if my youngest son was mine, he is.looks just like me and his brother. but i would bring the child up as my own its not its thought how it was created all life is precious and if he still loves this woman maybe they can finda way to be happy as a family
I kept my ex´s son as mine and we both were happy together, he never called me mom only once and still we are in contact ( I mean me and step son. ..)
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Becuse it's a child, not an over due credit card.Yes but it's not his child.It's her child and the child of another man.A childs parents should be the ones to be made responsible.
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It's hardly poking your nose in when this person is constantly coming to you with this problem,talking about it and asking what he should do.[/quote It's a decision he needs to come to himself with unbiased support, not one where he is being told what he should do because thats what you think he should do.
Imagine if he does what others tell him what he should do and then regrets it?
Imagine if he does what others tell him what he should do and then regrets it?
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Ooops I meant to quote that first little part in my last post.
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maryrachelle: Recently, a family member found out that his child is not really his child. He's been with this woman for years and he is hurt and shocked.He probably would of remained in the dark forever if not for amnio done.It seems they can do paternity testing through this.The only reason she told him is because the bio dad is black and there would be no way she can pass off this new baby as his.
I told him he should leave before this child is even born.Why take on another mans responsibility?
I told him he should leave before this child is even born.Why take on another mans responsibility?
does he love her?
does he think she loves him?
trust issues are between man and wife and nobody should try to dictate how anybody should feel about things, it's up to them
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morgan5: It's hardly poking your nose in when this person is constantly coming to you with this problem,talking about it and asking what he should do.[/quote It's a decision he needs to come to himself with unbiased support, not one where he is being told what he should do because thats what you think he should do.
Imagine if he does what others tell him what he should do and then regrets it?
If someone does not want your opinion then they should not ask.He asked and I was honest with him.I don't lie to the people I love when they ask me for my honest opinion.Whether he choose to stay or go is up to him.Imagine if he does what others tell him what he should do and then regrets it?
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SUNSHINEB0Y: does he love her?
does he think she loves him?
trust issues are between man and wife and nobody should try to dictate how anybody should feel about things, it's up to them
does he think she loves him?
trust issues are between man and wife and nobody should try to dictate how anybody should feel about things, it's up to them
Sometimes people mean well but make things ten times worse with well meaning advice ------ This thread is Archived ------
bestbefore: This rang a bell from the past in my family.
During the war the Americans were based in Bournemouth and my aunt, whose husband was in the Royal Navy, had a relationship with a black american.
She didn't tell a soul so when the baby was born imagine the shock. My uncle stood by her and accepted the child who was raised in a loving home.His colour caused him problems un fortunately as it was considered unacceptable in those days.
A lovely guy who overcame predjudice thank goodness.
During the war the Americans were based in Bournemouth and my aunt, whose husband was in the Royal Navy, had a relationship with a black american.
She didn't tell a soul so when the baby was born imagine the shock. My uncle stood by her and accepted the child who was raised in a loving home.His colour caused him problems un fortunately as it was considered unacceptable in those days.
A lovely guy who overcame predjudice thank goodness.
The above shows that not everything in life has to turn sour.
This is not your problem Maryrachelle,though I do understand your concern for a family member.The couple concerned have to sort this for themselves with or without input from the biological Father.
It takes a real man to bring up someone else's child as his own. If he decides to do this I wish him all the best.Casting stones is not going to solve the issue. Who amongst us hasn't fallen by the wayside.j.m.o.
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maryrachelle: If someone does not want your opinion then they should not ask.He asked and I was honest with him.I don't lie to the people I love when they ask me for my honest opinion.Whether he choose to stay or go is up to him.
He is probably as confused as hell right now and hurting, not a good time to hear what others would, being supportive and encouraging him to work thro his own feelings may be more beneficial to him long term.------ This thread is Archived ------
maryrachelle: If someone does not want your opinion then they should not ask.He asked and I was honest with him.I don't lie to the people I love when they ask me for my honest opinion.Whether he choose to stay or go is up to him.
Hi ah,
Does he know that you are asking the world?
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SUNSHINEB0Y: does he love her?
does he think she loves him?
trust issues are between man and wife and nobody should try to dictate how anybody should feel about things, it's up to them
He loves her but I doubt she loves him.He is the proverbial nice guy who lets himself be walked upon and used for what he can give her.This is not the first time she cheated.He has caught her before.She just did not end up pregnant before.does he think she loves him?
trust issues are between man and wife and nobody should try to dictate how anybody should feel about things, it's up to them
Nobody is dictating anything to him.How he chooses to handle this situation is up to him in the end.He asked for my honest opinion and I gave it to him.He asked for my opinion when she cheated before and I told him he didn't deserve that type of treatement and should leave,but he stayed.So ulitimately in the end the decision is his.
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wouldnt if throw a spanner in the works if she gave birth to a monkey!!!
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maryrachelle: Recently, a family member found out that his child is not really his child. He's been with this woman for years and he is hurt and shocked.He probably would of remained in the dark forever if not for amnio done.It seems they can do paternity testing through this.The only reason she told him is because the bio dad is black and there would be no way she can pass off this new baby as his.
I told him he should leave before this child is even born.Why take on another mans responsibility?
I told him he should leave before this child is even born.Why take on another mans responsibility?
This is just one side of the story. We don't know the other two sides: His and the mother of the baby. Bottom line is the decision to leave or stay is up to the man not anyone else.
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ali110: she should be stoned
Not sure if you're trying to be funny, but I don't find stoning of women to be a very funny subject or something to joke about.
On the other hand, could be you have just given your opinion, which is then pretty disturbing on a lot of other levels...
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Olsojente: Not sure if you're trying to be funny, but I don't find stoning of women to be a very funny subject or something to joke about.
On the other hand, could be you have just given your opinion, which is then pretty disturbing on a lot of other levels...
On the other hand, could be you have just given your opinion, which is then pretty disturbing on a lot of other levels...
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Olsojente: Not sure if you're trying to be funny, but I don't find stoning of women to be a very funny subject or something to joke about.
On the other hand, could be you have just given your opinion, which is then pretty disturbing on a lot of other levels...
On the other hand, could be you have just given your opinion, which is then pretty disturbing on a lot of other levels...
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