We Need A Laugh (53)
love it... the best on here
sorry had to chuckle aloud!!
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sorry had to chuckle aloud!!
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How many americans does it take to light a fire ?
Mech
Mech
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don't know how many?------ This thread is Archived ------
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I knew you would see it my way sooner or later,,,,------ This thread is Archived ------
The creature shuffled through the forest, leaving slick, sickly puddles of slime on the fallen leaves. It had lived for many long days and nights undisturbed by man, sensed only in the darkest recesses of man’s nightmares. But not even monsters can exist forever, and this Lovecraft-esque abomination had reached the end of its path.
Using its last remaining strength, the eldritch thing raised what functioned as a head to the dappled canopy above and let out a low, guttural moan that silenced the forest. The crickets and moths watched, but said nothing, as the thing staggered once and then tumbled to the spongy ground. Its death was as horrifying as its life, and even years later nothing would grow in the spoiled earth where the monster fell.
In the hours and days that followed there wasn’t so much normal breakdown and decay as there was an oily putrification, the horror’s body becoming a stygian bog of steaming otherworldy humors. No crow dared approach, no opportunistic coyote neared. Maggots, finding themselves sufficiently gagged, gave the whole mess a wide berth. None would venture close.
And then my damn dog discovered it and rolled in it.
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Using its last remaining strength, the eldritch thing raised what functioned as a head to the dappled canopy above and let out a low, guttural moan that silenced the forest. The crickets and moths watched, but said nothing, as the thing staggered once and then tumbled to the spongy ground. Its death was as horrifying as its life, and even years later nothing would grow in the spoiled earth where the monster fell.
In the hours and days that followed there wasn’t so much normal breakdown and decay as there was an oily putrification, the horror’s body becoming a stygian bog of steaming otherworldy humors. No crow dared approach, no opportunistic coyote neared. Maggots, finding themselves sufficiently gagged, gave the whole mess a wide berth. None would venture close.
And then my damn dog discovered it and rolled in it.
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Just look at President Bush; he cracks me up all the time, LOL!!!
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now that was funny------ This thread is Archived ------
jack and jill went up the hill to do some marijuana
jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said to jill "you wanna?"
jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun
jack forgot protection, and now they have a son
jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said to jill "you wanna?"
jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun
jack forgot protection, and now they have a son
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Young college student was going through the neighborhood asking for odd jobs to help pay for tuition.
Man says: Well I just bought some paint and would like my back porch painted. I will give you $50.00 for this.
30 minutes later the student comes back and says: done but I have to tell you something
It's called a Porsche, not a Porch
Man says: Well I just bought some paint and would like my back porch painted. I will give you $50.00 for this.
30 minutes later the student comes back and says: done but I have to tell you something
It's called a Porsche, not a Porch
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new............
Bathroom scale.
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for friday.