Talk/Email/Pen Pal (24)
vyoleta: Going through profiles I found that people who want the type of relationship: Talk/Email/Pen Pal, describe the person they are looking for as someone whom they would actually want to meet and live with. I think it is not logical.
Am I right?
Am I right?
for some maybe..as for me it does not apply
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iamwhoiamyousee: for some maybe..as for me it does not apply
OK, but do you think that it is not logical what I saw? Maybe there is something that I don't understand about this type of relationship.
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maybe they wanna be friends first 
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manroe23: maybe they wanna be friends first
Love the new pic.
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vyoleta: Going through profiles I found that people who want the type of relationship: Talk/Email/Pen Pal, describe the person they are looking for as someone whom they would actually want to meet and live with. I think it is not logical.
Am I right?
Am I right?
i had Talk/Email/Pen Pal option checked at the begining of my stay at CS as it seemed to me to be the most "neutral" one....
then, i had a guy writing to me several times a day describing every single detail of his day...he was also answering my every mail immediatelly with his very detailed reports...this behaviour made me feel conditioned...
when i wrote to him about it, he then said to me that he had chosen me because of the option "email/pen pal" and, also, because of my profesion (i'm a translator but the neaerest cs option is "writer/journalist"), which made me feel like a well chosen victim....
so, now i have "friends/hang out" option
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vyoleta: OK, but do you think that it is not logical what I saw? Maybe there is something that I don't understand about this type of relationship.
Another thing may be they are looking for specific long distance and the only way to start it is via talk/email/pen pal first. With thoughts of if everything clicks then maybe meeting some time down the road.
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manroe23: maybe they wanna be friends first
I don't think so. I started many communications with such guys, but they immediately started to look for the possibility that we meet and if I drew their attention to the type of relation I was looking for they'd stop answering my letters.
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lucynad: i had Talk/Email/Pen Pal option checked at the begining of my stay at CS as it seemed to me to be the most "neutral" one....
then, i had a guy writing to me several times a day describing every single detail of his day...he was also answering my every mail immediatelly with his very detailed reports...this behaviour made me feel conditioned...
when i wrote to him about it, he then said to me that he had chosen me because of the option "email/pen pal" and, also, because of my profesion (i'm a translator but the neaerest cs option is "writer/journalist"), which made me feel like a well chosen victim....
so, now i have "friends/hang out" option
then, i had a guy writing to me several times a day describing every single detail of his day...he was also answering my every mail immediatelly with his very detailed reports...this behaviour made me feel conditioned...
when i wrote to him about it, he then said to me that he had chosen me because of the option "email/pen pal" and, also, because of my profesion (i'm a translator but the neaerest cs option is "writer/journalist"), which made me feel like a well chosen victim....
so, now i have "friends/hang out" option
Yeah, there are all sorts of intruders revealing their nature in many ways.
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Actractorguy: Another thing may be they are looking for specific long distance and the only way to start it is via talk/email/pen pal first. With thoughts of if everything clicks then maybe meeting some time down the road.
I know that there are so many explanations for it, but, still, it seems rediculous to me. Especially for more mature people. Looks like they don't really know what they want.
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Actractorguy: Love the new pic.
Thank you
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vyoleta: I don't think so. I started many communications with such guys, but they immediately started to look for the possibility that we meet and if I drew their attention to the type of relation I was looking for they'd stop answering my letters.
really ? such a jerk to me. but don't stop looking vyoleta there are many great guy out there
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manroe23: really ? such a jerk to me. but don't stop looking vyoleta there are many great guy out there
Thanks, manroe23, I hope so.
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While there may be a few people who are actually looking for those things, I'd guess the majority are in fact using it as they would their voicemail - that is for screening purposes. It's probably mostly code for "I want to talk to you and get to you know you and then, maybe, I might consider something else."
But I suspect the code is rather more multi-layered than that. It seems likely that it represents a certain ambivalence toward the notion of finding love/being in a serious relationship. I think a lot of these people are looking to be talked into something more serious. If so, I think there's a fundamental dishonesty involved.
You're either interested in a serious romantic relationship or you're not. These people probably are interested, but they don't want to acknowledge that. They'd prefer to keep things fuzzy in order to avoid making a firm decision and just simply thinking hard about what they truly want.
I am very personally familiar with this phenomenon.
But I suspect the code is rather more multi-layered than that. It seems likely that it represents a certain ambivalence toward the notion of finding love/being in a serious relationship. I think a lot of these people are looking to be talked into something more serious. If so, I think there's a fundamental dishonesty involved.
You're either interested in a serious romantic relationship or you're not. These people probably are interested, but they don't want to acknowledge that. They'd prefer to keep things fuzzy in order to avoid making a firm decision and just simply thinking hard about what they truly want.
I am very personally familiar with this phenomenon.
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vyoleta: Yeah, there are all sorts of intruders revealing their nature in many ways.
"Yeah, there are all sorts of intruders revealing their nature in many ways"
So my question to you would be.....Do you see most people as intruders in your life?
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I have that option selected, although I am on this site to find a partner I am unable to travel or re-locate so unless I find a person who either lives on the island where I do or is coming here the best I can do is look for friends to chat too.
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vyoleta: Going through profiles I found that people who want the type of relationship: Talk/Email/Pen Pal, describe the person they are looking for as someone whom they would actually want to meet and live with. I think it is not logical.
Am I right?
Am I right?
If this apparent contradiction is really so common, I'd guess the reason may partly be the sign-up process. New members filling out their profiles first go through a checklist, part of which includes the "type of relationship" question. Only after they've completed the whole checklist are they confronted with the requirement to spend at least 400 characters describing their ideal match. Many new users may not even realize the two apparently contradictory statements will then appear side-by-side.
Or, as Homer Simpson put it, "I'll tell you why. Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything."
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vyoleta: Going through profiles I found that people who want the type of relationship: Talk/Email/Pen Pal, describe the person they are looking for as someone whom they would actually want to meet and live with. I think it is not logical.
Am I right?
Am I right?
I found it amusing they had height and body type requirements.
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mustbnutz: "Yeah, there are all sorts of intruders revealing their nature in many ways"So my question to you would be.....Do you see most people as intruders in your life?
Excuse me, I don't understand why do you ask this. What in my sentence inspires such an inquiry?
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Created: Jul 2011
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Am I right?