The Long Goodbye: The Never-Ending Virtual Romantic Relationship ( Archived) (319)

nanners2863: Steroids. No, seriously, he's admitted to it before. Think it's called roid rage..or maybe that has to do with hemroids..that can cause rage. K..am rambling..carry on.

Ambrose2007: Insightful as always, Nan!

He claims not to use steroids. I find that VERY hard to believe. You can't build to 700 benches and 1200 squats without a LOT of help and tremendous amounts of hard work.

I feel guilty enough taking herbs and DHEA and antioxidants to get my weights "up" and keep them up.

Ambrose2007: Man, that's me to a fault. I sometimes think I was too honest, because a lot of confessions which pointed to past behaviors that weren't great got used against me later. The problem with too much disclosure is that it can bias someone against you to a degree. Full disclosure is great in principle - I still mostly subscribe to it - but I would be somewhat cautious now revealing my worst side from the past. After all, you may very well have changed those behaviors or attitudes, but if someone believes you have them, they might "see" them when they truly aren't there.

And you may have noticed that I haven't exactly held back here online of late. That has turned some against me, for sure, but it doesn't seem to have phased others. So I guess I don't regret it too much...except for the pain it may have caused to certain others.

If both partners are really determined, Alaska, you can maintain the illusion begun in virtual reality into "in-flesh" interactions. I think that's possible when there is a genuine connection, at least. What I mean is that you can focus on the "fantasy"/good things far out of proportion to the gritty reality things. But that's a problem in many in-flesh relationships, too, of course.

I began my virtual love with the powerful desire to have a fairytale love affair with a great soulmate (and I think she did as well, to perhaps a slightly lesser degree) where she was the princess and I the prince and we'd stroll off happily into the sunset together. We would be like the symbol of romantic, undying love.

I think that allowed us to go on as long as we did, despite some really heavy duty obstacles and basic incompatibilities. We wanted to believe so much. But perhaps that speaks more about us as individuals than about the pitfalls of virtual love?

grizzwald: I use pot and junk food to keep my weight up to par....As Mom always said if you got something good, build a roof over it...

leigh2154: I try to give credit where credit is due....This post is beautiful because it rings true...To me, this is what the forums are "all" about, sharing experiences, knowledge, ideas for the common good...I hope to hell peeps read this and take it to heart, especially those who are new to this type of dating scene...It will save a few?, some?, many? unnecessary pain and heartache...Computer dating is its' own arena and it comes with its' own individual set of rules and realities...The better you understand it, the greater your chances for success.....