forgiveness (26)
Titch63Southland, New Zealand1 Threads 12 PostsWhen a person says something wrong and they apologise at least twelve times in written letters and emails. The other person doesn't reply is this just power play or didn't they really care about the person in the first place. I am lost for words would love some advice. Met a great guy through here and have jumped the gun not truethat you don't get emotionally involved on here thats for sure.
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Not neccessarily, maybe they aren't getting the emails OR worse case, maybe they blocked the person who made them mad and would not see the emails at all.
The best apology is either face to face or by telephone.
The best apology is either face to face or by telephone.
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7 x 70is the amount of forgiveness that should be forgiven in the words of J C
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Titch63: When a person says something wrong and they apologise at least twelve times in written letters and emails. The other person doesn't reply is this just power play or didn't they really care about the person in the first place. I am lost for words would love some advice. Met a great guy through here and have jumped the gun not truethat you don't get emotionally involved on here thats for sure.
{{Just my opinion}} Let that person be for a few days to either think or cool off and call them maybe? Can you call them? If not then if they are not responding to your emails and letters they can't be a decent person and forgive you...they aren't worth your time if they don't forgive you then. Good luck!
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crazyblondeone: {{Just my opinion}} Let that person be for a few days to either think or cool off and call them maybe? Can you call them? If not then if they are not responding to your emails and letters they can't be a decent person and forgive you...they aren't worth your time if they don't forgive you then. Good luck!
I agree if someone blocks communication to make it impossible for you to apologize they don't deserve the apology in the first place
just feel good about yourself knowing that you tried & yes if several messages went unanswered THAT IS your answer - you've either been blocked or that person just does not wish to communicate at this time
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Thank you for the advice. i will take it on board. Seems to ignore someone is obviously the worst thing that can be done to meam used to speaking things through and the saying silence can be deafening is so true.I will give him a chance to coll off youre right face to face is best thats for sure and the make up is so sweet as well.
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Titch63: When a person says something wrong and they apologise at least twelve times in written letters and emails. The other person doesn't reply is this just power play or didn't they really care about the person in the first place. I am lost for words would love some advice. Met a great guy through here and have jumped the gun not truethat you don't get emotionally involved on here thats for sure.
Sometimes apologising so many times (12 times) could be saturating, meaning he has no time to digest the content before another one arrives. He could feel swamped with no space for thinking.
Also by apologising so many times re-inforce "the wrong doing" to make it look even greater than it was, so he then feels warranted in feeling even more annoyed/upset than he was.
He might not be ignoring you. He might be using the time to put things in perspective. I always way "If you don´t know what to do, do nothing, till things become clearer in your head". May be he´s doing just that. Not doing/saying anything till he´s sure of what he thinks is the way forward.
Stay cool. You´ve done things the way you felt them. Now allow him space to do the same.
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Thank you for your advice have come to the same conclusion. Made a mountain out of a molehill.
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EagleWoman: Sometimes apologising so many times (12 times) could be saturating, meaning he has no time to digest the content before another one arrives. He could feel swamped with no space for thinking.
Also by apologising so many times re-inforce "the wrong doing" to make it look even greater than it was, so he then feels warranted in feeling even more annoyed/upset than he was.
He might not be ignoring you. He might be using the time to put things in perspective. I always way "If you don´t know what to do, do nothing, till things become clearer in your head". May be he´s doing just that. Not doing/saying anything till he´s sure of what he thinks is the way forward.
Stay cool. You´ve done things the way you felt them. Now allow him space to do the same.
Also by apologising so many times re-inforce "the wrong doing" to make it look even greater than it was, so he then feels warranted in feeling even more annoyed/upset than he was.
He might not be ignoring you. He might be using the time to put things in perspective. I always way "If you don´t know what to do, do nothing, till things become clearer in your head". May be he´s doing just that. Not doing/saying anything till he´s sure of what he thinks is the way forward.
Stay cool. You´ve done things the way you felt them. Now allow him space to do the same.
true I do agree with much of this but as I said above I think it's important to remember that the "silent treatment" is immature & manipulative if it goes on for a prolonged period. A mature adult partner would TELL her that he needs the time to think and wants to time out communication for awhile, not just ignore her (even if it it was just sent in a brief email as not to invite futher convo)
I see nothing there happening except that he is either completely lost interest or he's being manipulative
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forgiving is power, its saying i pardon you
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if God did not forgive us for our sins we would be in hell
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felixis99: true I do agree with much of this but as I said above I think it's important to remember that the "silent treatment" is immature & manipulative if it goes on for a prolonged period. A mature adult partner would TELL her that he needs the time to think and wants to time out communication for awhile, not just ignore her (even if it it was just sent in a brief email as not to invite futher convo)
I see nothing there happening except that he is either completely lost interest or he's being manipulative
I see nothing there happening except that he is either completely lost interest or he's being manipulative
Yep!! I agree!! ... in this case, I allowed for the possibility of the guy feeling swamped by so many apologising messages ... a bit like a chain of action- reaction (or lack of)
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Some things do not deserve to be forgiven.Sometimes you just have to cut the other person loose from your life.
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EagleWoman: Yep!! I agree!! ... in this case, I allowed for the possibility of the guy feeling swamped by so many apologising messages ... a bit like a chain of action- reaction (or lack of)
yes I agree, and of course we don't know the details about the apologies, but yes it sounds overwhelming...
people's reactions when they are upset are often not well timed, nor perfect. I admire your ability to be that understanding
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maryrachelle: Some things do not deserve to be forgiven.Sometimes you just have to cut the other person loose from your life.
I don't think I could live that way. my ex was like that - still is I guess
I feel sorry for him. I can put some distance between myself & some others but I don't think I could completely cut off a friend and would not consider anyone who has done that to me (without apology) to be a friend - even if they had thought themselves to be one
friends don't do that
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Right or wrong we often say things that are a reaction to something in the present or in the past. Maybe try to explain why you said or did what you did.
People also tend to react more to something that hits home..like something we may not like in ourselves..the truth often hurts ..
good luck with this
People also tend to react more to something that hits home..like something we may not like in ourselves..the truth often hurts ..
good luck with this
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Titch63: When a person says something wrong and they apologise at least twelve times in written letters and emails. The other person doesn't reply is this just power play or didn't they really care about the person in the first place. I am lost for words would love some advice. Met a great guy through here and have jumped the gun not truethat you don't get emotionally involved on here thats for sure.
Besides the intentional blocking that may have been done, the still worse case scenario is one that occurs rather frequently which is one will willfully choose to misinterpret another just so they can cut off the other person. That leaves one in a quandary and no way to ever ask for an explanation, let alone even try to find out if they had indeed offended the other...
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I think he got his wiener stuck in a cow milking machine and is unable to respond,
at least until there's a power failure.
People very seldom jump to conclusions around here.
at least until there's a power failure.
People very seldom jump to conclusions around here.
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I dated a lady about three times. I guess I forgot to call or contact this person in a timely manner after our last date. Now this lady will not give me the time of day. I've sent messages, I've called her. No response. She won't talk to me on the phone or return my messages.
So...too bad for her I guess. If she can't accept the fact that maybe I had an urgent issue on my mind, like being hospitalized in Puerto Rico, and didn't remember to send her a hello or whatever it was, she's not such a nice lady after all. I'm sure glad I found out now instead of after maybe a relationship was started.
I'm a lucky guy !!
So...too bad for her I guess. If she can't accept the fact that maybe I had an urgent issue on my mind, like being hospitalized in Puerto Rico, and didn't remember to send her a hello or whatever it was, she's not such a nice lady after all. I'm sure glad I found out now instead of after maybe a relationship was started.
I'm a lucky guy !!
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Not to worry. You have apologised which means you realsied that you were wrong and you humbled yourself. His loss that he has ignored you. Don't lose sleep over him. Move on. If he contacts you again then go with your feelings. 
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