Whats your best joke? ( Archived) (80)

Jebuz is hanging on the cross and he yells out to Peter "Peter, Peter!"


Dutiful Peter heads up the hill in a trot, toward his call and is confronted by a Roman soldier who tells him to get lost. Peter tries to get past him only to have the roman soldier cut his leg off and push him back down the hill.

Then Jebuz calls again, almost whining, "peter, peter.."

Peter realizing he must answer the call of his lord, heads back up the hill on one leg, hopping and waving his arms, "I coming lord, I'm coming"

He almost gets to the top of the hill and the roman soldier tells him to get lost. Peter tries to explain and then attempts an end around the soldier but the soldier cuts his arm off and pushes him back down the hill.

Jebuz calls out again, "Peter, p e t e r!"

Even missing limbs, Peter gets up and begins hoppin up the hill, one arm waving at his lord, "I'll be there soon lord." He gets almost to the top again and runs into the roman soldier who doesn't give him a chance to speak before he chops off Peter's other arm and shoves him back down the hill.

"P e t e r , p e t e r!"

Peter moans but knows he must get to his lord and find out what he wants. He starts hoppin one legged up the hill, falls down a few times but gets back up and continues on his misson to serve his lord. He almost gets to the top and again the roman soldier is there and laughs at him, cuts off his other leg and shoves him back down the hill.

"p e t e rrrr!"


Bloody, legless, armless Peter starts rolling himself up the hill, over the rocks, ever upward toward is calling master. He gets all the way to the top where the roman soldier says "ok you can pass." He rolls up under the cross and says "yes lord, what is it that you need from me?"

Jebuz says "Peter, I can see your house from here."


It's my favorite all time joke.

A brunette, a blond and a redhead walk into a bar.






















I stopped drinking my beer cos of the drooling I was doing.

A tough looking group of bikers were crossing a bridge and they saw a pretty teenager about to jump off.
The leader,a big burly man,stops,gets off his bike,and asks "what are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide"says the teenager.
The biker says "Look before you jump,why don't you give me a big kiss,and you go with a nice memory?"
The teenager thinks for a moment,then gives the biker a long deep passionate kiss.
"Wow "says the biker "that's the best kiss I have ever had.You have a real talent you will be wasting,and you could be famous.Why are you going to commit suicide?"

"Because my parents don't like me dressing up like a girl !!!!"

A man on his Harley was riding. along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.
"God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?".......

Luv It, Stealing it .lol