teenage trauma (73)
chattychick09: hi peeps
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
sounds like a case for dr.phil !just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
chattychick09: hi peeps
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
Let her make her own decision...the logical thing for her to do would be to forget about that waster shes with but she wont because shes "in love" with him...its difficult..she will get hurt no way out of that and she'll probably look back on him in years to come and think How much of an idiot shes been...she has to make her own mistakes
chattychick09: dont understand why ur saying she is an idiot ??? anyway thanks for ur feedback :)
yeah shes an idiot for having anything to do with him..
chattychick09: sorry my daughter is not an idiot she is a teenager who finds herself in a very difficult situation ..this isnt the type of responce i was hoping for...
well if she had her priorities right she wouldn't be with him..its a messy situation
chattychick09,
Nope, haven't been in your situation and never will be as I don't have a daughter but from one mum to another I do think that you can support her by giving her as detached advice as possible, looking at both sides of the coin, but ultimately your daughter has to make her own decision and you be there for her whatever the outcome.
The way I see it is this: none of us know what's around the corner so to break up with him now in the event that he *might* go back to his ex for the sake of the baby is futile. I know she's very young and plenty of time to have a serious relationship but if she really cares for him and is mad about him then that's a risk she will decide to take or not. I just think you can't plan life going on white might happen (cos it might not), live for the present and plan for the future as best you can. Yes, she may have or heart broken in the future, or, on the other hand, she may not. Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all - no?
If she's not bothered about a baby being in the picture and what that will mean for their future relationship and her main concern is that her boyfriend will go back to his ex, she really needs to assess the value of their current relationship and, I think, base her decision on that.
Whatever she decides, I wish your daughter the best and she's lucky to have you.
Nope, haven't been in your situation and never will be as I don't have a daughter but from one mum to another I do think that you can support her by giving her as detached advice as possible, looking at both sides of the coin, but ultimately your daughter has to make her own decision and you be there for her whatever the outcome.
The way I see it is this: none of us know what's around the corner so to break up with him now in the event that he *might* go back to his ex for the sake of the baby is futile. I know she's very young and plenty of time to have a serious relationship but if she really cares for him and is mad about him then that's a risk she will decide to take or not. I just think you can't plan life going on white might happen (cos it might not), live for the present and plan for the future as best you can. Yes, she may have or heart broken in the future, or, on the other hand, she may not. Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all - no?
If she's not bothered about a baby being in the picture and what that will mean for their future relationship and her main concern is that her boyfriend will go back to his ex, she really needs to assess the value of their current relationship and, I think, base her decision on that.
Whatever she decides, I wish your daughter the best and she's lucky to have you.
chattychick09: hi peeps
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
at 18 she doesn't want to be saddled with that sort of a situation, dump him and move on, it will save lot's of drama
MermaidDreams: chattychick09,
Nope, haven't been in your situation and never will be as I don't have a daughter but from one mum to another I do think that you can support her by giving her as detached advice as possible, looking at both sides of the coin, but ultimately your daughter has to make her own decision and you be there for her whatever the outcome.
The way I see it is this: none of us know what's around the corner so to break up with him now in the event that he *might* go back to his ex for the sake of the baby is futile. I know she's very young and plenty of time to have a serious relationship but if she really cares for him and is mad about him then that's a risk she will decide to take or not. I just think you can't plan life going on white might happen (cos it might not), live for the present and plan for the future as best you can. Yes, she may have or heart broken in the future, or, on the other hand, she may not. Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all - no?
If she's not bothered about a baby being in the picture and what that will mean for their future relationship and her main concern is that her boyfriend will go back to his ex, she really needs to assess the value of their current relationship and, I think, base her decision on that.
Whatever she decides, I wish your daughter the best and she's lucky to have you.
Nope, haven't been in your situation and never will be as I don't have a daughter but from one mum to another I do think that you can support her by giving her as detached advice as possible, looking at both sides of the coin, but ultimately your daughter has to make her own decision and you be there for her whatever the outcome.
The way I see it is this: none of us know what's around the corner so to break up with him now in the event that he *might* go back to his ex for the sake of the baby is futile. I know she's very young and plenty of time to have a serious relationship but if she really cares for him and is mad about him then that's a risk she will decide to take or not. I just think you can't plan life going on white might happen (cos it might not), live for the present and plan for the future as best you can. Yes, she may have or heart broken in the future, or, on the other hand, she may not. Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all - no?
If she's not bothered about a baby being in the picture and what that will mean for their future relationship and her main concern is that her boyfriend will go back to his ex, she really needs to assess the value of their current relationship and, I think, base her decision on that.
Whatever she decides, I wish your daughter the best and she's lucky to have you.
thanks mermaid ...he was only with the previous girl for a short time 3 months or so but she is bombarding him now with calls and texts wanting him back its making my daughter very insecure i guess.... i understand in the perfect world its a situation that all us grown ups know is one we shud run from in her situation but it has to be her dicision i guess...iv done my best to gently advise her but its still so raw she just ends up in floods of tears ....
Whats to say he won't get your daughter pregnant and move onto another girl and keep on going leaving babies behind him with different girls
Hi CC, Whatever you do don't tell her what to do, because if you do
and she does it, and it goes wrong, you will be blamed forever. Advise her,talk to her, be there for her, because she needs you right now and for the next couple of months. We can all see it's a disastrous situation and there is not going to be a happy ending, but she must make the decision,it will be heart breaking for you to watch, but it's the only way she is going to learn about life.
Best of luck to you and your daughter.
and she does it, and it goes wrong, you will be blamed forever. Advise her,talk to her, be there for her, because she needs you right now and for the next couple of months. We can all see it's a disastrous situation and there is not going to be a happy ending, but she must make the decision,it will be heart breaking for you to watch, but it's the only way she is going to learn about life.
Best of luck to you and your daughter.
chattychick09: hi peeps
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
The boyfriend is a complete idiot. Your daughter is going out with that complete idiot now. She's lowered herself do going out with irresponsible idiots and you need to get that into her head.
To be honest i doubt she's looking for or will listen to the advice of her mother, at the end of the day in her mind you're "old" and "haven't a clue" so the best thing to do is let her make her own decisions, everyone learns from making these decisions by themselves at that age and it's experiences like this that will have her think twice about jumping into a relationship in the future...i don't know why people are slating the bloke either, an accident happened, could happen to anyone, let's just hope he does do the right thing and be there for his kid...
Just be there for her if she does ever wanna talk, listen to her and then advise her to make her own decision and tell her whatever she does that you'll be there for her...if she's worried about him getting back with his ex then she obviously doesn't trust the bloke and that's not the best situation to be in..
Just be there for her if she does ever wanna talk, listen to her and then advise her to make her own decision and tell her whatever she does that you'll be there for her...if she's worried about him getting back with his ex then she obviously doesn't trust the bloke and that's not the best situation to be in..
MADDOG69: The boyfriend is a complete idiot. Your daughter is going out with that complete idiot now. She's lowered herself do going out with irresponsible idiots and you need to get that into her head.
Why is he an idiot??
chattychick09: hi peeps
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
Kid might not be his...hence telling him so late. DNA test before they do anything is my advice!
thanx everyone ....i think its best to let nature takes its course and its a life experience for her ....i hope she soon gets fed up with the situation and moves on...tanx for all the comments :)
MADDOG69: True, but the balance of probabilities is against that argument.
True but you shouldn't really call the chap an idiot unless you have all the facts.
It is possible he took all the precautions available but she still got pregnant.chattychick09: hi peeps
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??
Please do not take this the wrong way, but the situation you are describing can be see played out every morning of the week on The Jeremy Kyle show............... Young couples such as that young boy and his ex and the new girlfriend (In this case, your daughter) are on fighting over X Y and Z ................ There is so much chaos involved ......................... I could sit here and type all the stuff that people in these situations fight over, but i am sure you have went through it all in your own mind ............. At the moment their is three people lives that are in turmoil..................... in two months their will be four and the fourth is the most important and should be the priority to the other three.............. If it was my daughter i would not want her to have to start her life with the big of a bag to carry................... I would want her out of the picture but if she wants different all you do is support her.................. would you consider an advice counselor as she might take their advice on board, they being neutral........... ?
The situation is a sad one for all of them ............. and their familes...... all this heartache because of not using protection by both the parents.....
chattychick09: thanx everyone ....i think its best to let nature takes its course and its a life experience for her ....i hope she soon gets fed up with the situation and moves on...tanx for all the comments :)
As long as she's looking after herself taking responsibility for herself as you said, you'll just have to hang on for the ride if she won't listen.mcattack: Making her pregnant?? it's not all his fault and nobody knows the full story, she could have lied about the pill or anything, he already said he doesn't want to be with his ex but wants to be a good father...doesn't sound like an idiot to me, obviously made a mistake that happens every day and i'm sure could have happened to you or anyone in the past...let's be honest, there's not a bloke in the world that hasn't left it in when he shouldn't have and the women know too
From what i gather from the OP, the lad has a decent head on his shoulders and is doing the right thing
From what i gather from the OP, the lad has a decent head on his shoulders and is doing the right thing
I know it's not all his fault. It takes two to tango and the other one is as much of an idiot. Don't get me wrong on this.
What's this though?
"there's not a bloke in the world that hasn't left it in when he shouldn't have" ?
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just wondering if anyone here ever been in the situation i now find myself in with my daughter who is 18 and can mayb offer advice ....my daughter has been seeing this guy the last 5 months , they see each other most evenings are totally besotted ....he finished with his ex a month b4 he started dating my daughter (she knows him 4 yrs only dating 5 months)...guess wat the other girl now says she is almost 7 months pregnant ...devastation all round ...the girl wants my daughters fella back ...he says to me and my daughter he wants to stay with my daughter and loves her very much does not want the other girl but wants to support her thru the pregnacy (going to scans )and obviously wants to be a good dad when baby comes along ... my daughter says she loves him to but is devasted that another girl is having his child and all the stuff that that brings along....she dosnt want to get in the way but is also worried once the baby comes along he will want to make a go of it with ex for babys sake and she will be hurt and devasted ...how it gods name do i protect her or can I ?? do i have to let her make her own decisions and shut my mouth??