Has anyone gone "Stealth mode" on you after wooing you? (36)
M1ck1eWestfield, Massachusetts USA2 Threads 1 Polls 663 PostsYes I was talking with this guy on here for a couple of months, for hours, everyday. One day he just up and disappeared. Now he is back on this site and acts like I never existed. Sadly Renewing my lack of faith in men.
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I really liked your response Nidifugous!! Well said!!
And I know that now!! I will not give a second chance again!
And I know that now!! I will not give a second chance again!
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Ugh...sorry to hear that M1ck1e :(
I just don't understand how anyone can play w/ someones heart like that!
You're a pretty lady......it was his loss!
I just don't understand how anyone can play w/ someones heart like that!
You're a pretty lady......it was his loss!
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LadyLori: Ugh...sorry to hear that M1ck1e :(
I just don't understand how anyone can play w/ someones heart like that!
You're a pretty lady......it was his loss!
Thank you I just don't understand how anyone can play w/ someones heart like that!
You're a pretty lady......it was his loss!
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Most likely married if he played it up to the point of meeting,and then baulked.
Staying loyal is a good idea if you are actually physically dating somebody. But staying loyal to somebody you have never met does not make sense.
Go out on dates with any man who asks you out, and you like.
The time for loyalty is when you settle for one man.
Good luck
Staying loyal is a good idea if you are actually physically dating somebody. But staying loyal to somebody you have never met does not make sense.
Go out on dates with any man who asks you out, and you like.
The time for loyalty is when you settle for one man.
Good luck
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Mollybaby,
Well said and I am taking your advice to heart and going with it!!
Maybe I was just married too long - I have NO idea what I am doing....kind of bumbling my way through this I guess, lol!
Again, thank you!!
Well said and I am taking your advice to heart and going with it!!
Maybe I was just married too long - I have NO idea what I am doing....kind of bumbling my way through this I guess, lol!
Again, thank you!!
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LadyLori: Yah, it hurts, but my daughters told me it was HIS loss, not mine, haha!
Hi LadyLori 
I agree with your daughters 
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LadyLori: Hello my fellow single friends,
I was wondering if any of you have had someone "woo" you for weeks/months, set up a date - act excited to meet you, only to have them suddenly stop talking to you then "stand you up" for your date?
I had a guy do this to me on another site & it devastated me, as I was VERY attracted to him, and not just with his looks, and he made me laugh and he was smart, etc...he had me totally wrapped around his finger. Then, 2 days before our scheduled date, he stopped corresponding. wouldn't let me know, either way, regarding our meeting.
Well, found him again last month and HE asked ME for another chance. Me, being the forgiving, non judgmental lady that I am, said "of course"! He, once again, wood me to no end....told me his biggest mistake the first time was not meeting me. He had to reschedule several times, and I remained patient...all the while, refusing other dates from some great guys, because I wanted to be loyal to him.
Yup....he did the same thing again. Stopped talking to me just a few days before our date.
I was so sad and upset. I guess he never took a moment to think how he'd feel if someone did that to him!
Believe me, it will never happen to me again!
So, 2 questions:
1) Has this happened to anyone else and, if so, how did it effect you?
2) Does anyone have any insight as to why someone would do such a deplorable thing to someone nice, forgiving & loyal?
I will appreciate your comments!!
I was wondering if any of you have had someone "woo" you for weeks/months, set up a date - act excited to meet you, only to have them suddenly stop talking to you then "stand you up" for your date?
I had a guy do this to me on another site & it devastated me, as I was VERY attracted to him, and not just with his looks, and he made me laugh and he was smart, etc...he had me totally wrapped around his finger. Then, 2 days before our scheduled date, he stopped corresponding. wouldn't let me know, either way, regarding our meeting.
Well, found him again last month and HE asked ME for another chance. Me, being the forgiving, non judgmental lady that I am, said "of course"! He, once again, wood me to no end....told me his biggest mistake the first time was not meeting me. He had to reschedule several times, and I remained patient...all the while, refusing other dates from some great guys, because I wanted to be loyal to him.
Yup....he did the same thing again. Stopped talking to me just a few days before our date.
I was so sad and upset. I guess he never took a moment to think how he'd feel if someone did that to him!
Believe me, it will never happen to me again!
So, 2 questions:
1) Has this happened to anyone else and, if so, how did it effect you?
2) Does anyone have any insight as to why someone would do such a deplorable thing to someone nice, forgiving & loyal?
I will appreciate your comments!!
"VERY" attracted to someone you've never met? You're attracted to the fantasy his words conjure up. Sounds great on paper but hold your horses. It's crazy to waste months talking to someone local who kept putting off meeting..if he were serious he'd find a way to meet you, no excuses. You had to be his back-up plan! Thus other more appealing options were at his disposal. His final disappearing act is confirmation IMO. While you had this blinkered loyalty to him, I bet he was dating up a storm.. when you should have been doing the same (at least until you found someone you liked enough to want to date exclusively and vice versa)
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Dedovix: Sorry to hear about happened ...
Yeah it happens quite often to what I hear ( actually ,read)
Men get seduced then stood up,Women get seduced then stood up
stuff happens?forrest gump,lol.Yeah it happens quite often to what I hear ( actually ,read)
Men get seduced then stood up,Women get seduced then stood up
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From your description, the guy seems like a virtual poser. He realizes that he can't live up to your expectations in the real world - so of course he cannot meet you.
It is really foolish, I think, for women on this site to just play into the only one at a time kind of meetings.
If you are serious about using this site as a dating tool, then set up conversations and then meet in real life - don't rely on just one date, one person, try a variety of a few with different people.
anyone can be anything on the internet - look at me!
It is really foolish, I think, for women on this site to just play into the only one at a time kind of meetings.
If you are serious about using this site as a dating tool, then set up conversations and then meet in real life - don't rely on just one date, one person, try a variety of a few with different people.
anyone can be anything on the internet - look at me!
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Thanks JeanKimberly-I appreciate your input.
Yes, what you said is true and I have learned from this experience. Though I'm not sure I could date different men at the same time....that might just be because I was married for SO long!!
As far as the guy...I'm not going to try to assume what his thought-process is & I won't trash-talk him because that's not my style. I guess I just have to resolve that I will never know why and move on :)
Again, thank you for your post!
Yes, what you said is true and I have learned from this experience. Though I'm not sure I could date different men at the same time....that might just be because I was married for SO long!!
As far as the guy...I'm not going to try to assume what his thought-process is & I won't trash-talk him because that's not my style. I guess I just have to resolve that I will never know why and move on :)
Again, thank you for your post!
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M1ck1e: Yes I was talking with this guy on here for a couple of months, for hours, everyday. One day he just up and disappeared. Now he is back on this site and acts like I never existed. Sadly Renewing my lack of faith in men.
Wow that is SAD M1, but don't worry happen to me too. Not here, in life .....!!!
Nice to c u back
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I would think he was either married/in a relationship and looking for some excitement on the side - he had to keep rescheduling which suggests he already had commitments.
Or, it could be he hyped up his profile and photos and lost his nerve in keeping the date.
But although you chatted and got on okay, you were not obliged to be "loyal" to him after he had messed you around so much.
When he went quiet before the proposed date and did not confirm the meeting arrangements then alarm bells should have been ringing.
It was nice of you to give him a second chance to prove himself, but you know better now. Perhaps arrange to meet for coffee first next time to see how that goes before arranging a more formal date.
Or, it could be he hyped up his profile and photos and lost his nerve in keeping the date.
But although you chatted and got on okay, you were not obliged to be "loyal" to him after he had messed you around so much.
When he went quiet before the proposed date and did not confirm the meeting arrangements then alarm bells should have been ringing.
It was nice of you to give him a second chance to prove himself, but you know better now. Perhaps arrange to meet for coffee first next time to see how that goes before arranging a more formal date.
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Thank you all for your comments!
And, bluegirl, I had suggested a coffee "meet & greet", as that's what I usually do-no sense spending a lot of money on dinner, just in case you don't connect! Coffee, during the day, in a busy place...that's how I do it. HE was the one who suggested a nice, Italian restaurant!
I'm just going to chalk this one up as God helped me dodge a bullet, since I have no other info to go on!
And, bluegirl, I had suggested a coffee "meet & greet", as that's what I usually do-no sense spending a lot of money on dinner, just in case you don't connect! Coffee, during the day, in a busy place...that's how I do it. HE was the one who suggested a nice, Italian restaurant!
I'm just going to chalk this one up as God helped me dodge a bullet, since I have no other info to go on!
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LadyLori: Hello my fellow single friends,
I was wondering if any of you have had someone "woo" you for weeks/months, set up a date - act excited to meet you, only to have them suddenly stop talking to you then "stand you up" for your date?
I had a guy do this to me on another site & it devastated me, as I was VERY attracted to him, and not just with his looks, and he made me laugh and he was smart, etc...he had me totally wrapped around his finger. Then, 2 days before our scheduled date, he stopped corresponding. wouldn't let me know, either way, regarding our meeting.
Well, found him again last month and HE asked ME for another chance. Me, being the forgiving, non judgmental lady that I am, said "of course"! He, once again, wood me to no end....told me his biggest mistake the first time was not meeting me. He had to reschedule several times, and I remained patient...all the while, refusing other dates from some great guys, because I wanted to be loyal to him.
Yup....he did the same thing again. Stopped talking to me just a few days before our date.
I was so sad and upset. I guess he never took a moment to think how he'd feel if someone did that to him!
Believe me, it will never happen to me again!
So, 2 questions:
1) Has this happened to anyone else and, if so, how did it effect you?
2) Does anyone have any insight as to why someone would do such a deplorable thing to someone nice, forgiving & loyal?
I will appreciate your comments!!
I was wondering if any of you have had someone "woo" you for weeks/months, set up a date - act excited to meet you, only to have them suddenly stop talking to you then "stand you up" for your date?
I had a guy do this to me on another site & it devastated me, as I was VERY attracted to him, and not just with his looks, and he made me laugh and he was smart, etc...he had me totally wrapped around his finger. Then, 2 days before our scheduled date, he stopped corresponding. wouldn't let me know, either way, regarding our meeting.
Well, found him again last month and HE asked ME for another chance. Me, being the forgiving, non judgmental lady that I am, said "of course"! He, once again, wood me to no end....told me his biggest mistake the first time was not meeting me. He had to reschedule several times, and I remained patient...all the while, refusing other dates from some great guys, because I wanted to be loyal to him.
Yup....he did the same thing again. Stopped talking to me just a few days before our date.
I was so sad and upset. I guess he never took a moment to think how he'd feel if someone did that to him!
Believe me, it will never happen to me again!
So, 2 questions:
1) Has this happened to anyone else and, if so, how did it effect you?
2) Does anyone have any insight as to why someone would do such a deplorable thing to someone nice, forgiving & loyal?
I will appreciate your comments!!
Maybe he was lacking in something, not sure what, but he could be afraid you would not find him desirable after meeting. Very sad. Sorry it happened to you.
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Ken & crazyblondeone,
Thanks for your comments. And yes, I always request a M&G over coffee for first meeting.
And, unless his pics/stats were fake, there's no reason he should have felt inept-the man is "beautiful", funny, smart, etc...
So many have offered their advice & guesses and I truly appreciate you all sharing your thoughts with me. I am new here, so this is very welcoming :)
Thanks for your comments. And yes, I always request a M&G over coffee for first meeting.
And, unless his pics/stats were fake, there's no reason he should have felt inept-the man is "beautiful", funny, smart, etc...
So many have offered their advice & guesses and I truly appreciate you all sharing your thoughts with me. I am new here, so this is very welcoming :)
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