a question about attitudes... (24)
roger77swe: I have found out one thing that might makes some people's skinn crawl.
If a woman writes something emotionally deep from the inside, it seems ok, but as soon as a man does exactly the same, others just look at it as "he's just feeling sorry for himself". would you think that's a fair thing to do? and if so, if a guy writes something emotionally deep and does that in case of being honest, and that guy is basically rejected an falsly accused of just "feeling sorry for himself". then, what is honesty?
just a deep question from the deep of mind:)
If a woman writes something emotionally deep from the inside, it seems ok, but as soon as a man does exactly the same, others just look at it as "he's just feeling sorry for himself". would you think that's a fair thing to do? and if so, if a guy writes something emotionally deep and does that in case of being honest, and that guy is basically rejected an falsly accused of just "feeling sorry for himself". then, what is honesty?
just a deep question from the deep of mind:)
Yes, indeed. Quite right....
What is conventionally accepted as appropriate for a woman is not considered correct for a man, in many instances.... and vice versa. This seems unfair but, in fact, does have an evolutionary purpose (which I won't bore you with). Our social circles are such that there is confusion between the purpose of men and women and what has eventually led us to what our roles are now, here in the 21st century.
At the end of the day, we are all human beings and I'm sure we all feel the same things whether we are male or female. We are still subjected to the same constraints and its so deep-rooted it may continue for quite some time yet.
Me, personally, if a man is emotionally deep and is able to honest, I would appreciate that for what it was. The alternative being.... secretive, deviod of emotion, manipulative and cold?
Take yer pick...
I think 'making people's skin crawl' is a bit harsh but all credit to ya, mate, for the insight and asking the questions...
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hi Rodger......its nice to meet you......you have raised a good point. there are times when asked ,why are we here....?????? and when we try to exsplain...the reason in depth. why ???..theres always someone waiting in the wings...ready to pounce on you.....as they say. kick a man , when he,s down.....not all do this...may I say.just one /two...who take delight......this is after all a dating site...or was.??...now it a platform....on polictical agenders. I have been here a few years.and inthat time , have seen many changes....people view people now......as potencial scammer/or someone looking for a free ride.......sad really.....one day ,I hope things may return to normal......have a nice day true/H.
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roger77swe: I have found out one thing that might makes some people's skinn crawl.
If a woman writes something emotionally deep from the inside, it seems ok, but as soon as a man does exactly the same, others just look at it as "he's just feeling sorry for himself". would you think that's a fair thing to do? and if so, if a guy writes something emotionally deep and does that in case of being honest, and that guy is basically rejected an falsly accused of just "feeling sorry for himself". then, what is honesty?
just a deep question from the deep of mind:)
i think we are all conditioned from birth to act and even feel in a certain way,.we are products of the envoironment in which we live also which reflects the way we should or not behave,..to a large extent men nowadays are the ones staying at home with the children,housework,in our grandparents day daddy had to go out to work to provide,.this is embedded in the male psyche that this is his role,to provide,protect,always be strong,never show too much emotion,..a man can balance being all these things if he so wishes and not fearful of showing emotion,it is not good for anyone to suppress their feelings,..men do need to open more to express the way they are feeling,it is a fact that men have a high rate of depression and alot of it stems from suppressed emotions relating from past or present events.if one is not feeling good upon a day say let it out.it is no way a sight of weakness this is a myth from the past,let it go just be.If a woman writes something emotionally deep from the inside, it seems ok, but as soon as a man does exactly the same, others just look at it as "he's just feeling sorry for himself". would you think that's a fair thing to do? and if so, if a guy writes something emotionally deep and does that in case of being honest, and that guy is basically rejected an falsly accused of just "feeling sorry for himself". then, what is honesty?
just a deep question from the deep of mind:)
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peachmelba: i think we are all conditioned from birth to act and even feel in a certain way,.we are products of the envoironment in which we live also which reflects the way we should or not behave,..to a large extent men nowadays are the ones staying at home with the children,housework,in our grandparents day daddy had to go out to work to provide,.this is embedded in the male psyche that this is his role,to provide,protect,always be strong,never show too much emotion,..a man can balance being all these things if he so wishes and not fearful of showing emotion,it is not good for anyone to suppress their feelings,..men do need to open more to express the way they are feeling,it is a fact that men have a high rate of depression and alot of it stems from suppressed emotions relating from past or present events.if one is not feeling good upon a day say let it out.it is no way a sight of weakness this is a myth from the past,let it go just be.
hi Melba.....a well thought out.....reply......
.....better then mine....
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good replies from all of you so far:)
melba, i agree with you. and as a reflection of honesty i think many men and women in here might supressing feeling, i don't know exactly but i think when a man sees an interesting profile in here, sometimes it's difficult for him to "swollow his pride" and show true colours if you know what i mean. allthough i have never thought that way myself because i believe showing feelings and emotions are a part of yourself and part of being honest
melba, i agree with you. and as a reflection of honesty i think many men and women in here might supressing feeling, i don't know exactly but i think when a man sees an interesting profile in here, sometimes it's difficult for him to "swollow his pride" and show true colours if you know what i mean. allthough i have never thought that way myself because i believe showing feelings and emotions are a part of yourself and part of being honest
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truheart1941: hi Melba.....a well thought out.....reply...... .....better then mine....
hey thanks,
now could you make the dinner today pet I'm feeling abit tired and just want to put my feet up and watch the box,....oh by the way just leave your wages behind the clock on mantlepiece.lol.
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peachmelba: hey thanks, now could you make the dinner today pet I'm feeling abit tired and just want to put my feet up and watch the box,....oh by the way just leave your wages behind the clock on mantlepiece.lol.
..sure .no problem.....did you have a busy night......??????.....just asking....?????....LOL...
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roger77swe: good replies from all of you so far:)
melba, i agree with you. and as a reflection of honesty i think many men and women in here might supressing feeling, i don't know exactly but i think when a man sees an interesting profile in here, sometimes it's difficult for him to "swollow his pride" and show true colours if you know what i mean. allthough i have never thought that way myself because i believe showing feelings and emotions are a part of yourself and part of being honest
im glad to hear it otherwise the teacups might get thrown on the floor,the poor cat might not get fed,the girlfriend dosnt leave her toothbrush at your place no more and your havent even noticed why everyone evacuates when you enter a room,melba, i agree with you. and as a reflection of honesty i think many men and women in here might supressing feeling, i don't know exactly but i think when a man sees an interesting profile in here, sometimes it's difficult for him to "swollow his pride" and show true colours if you know what i mean. allthough i have never thought that way myself because i believe showing feelings and emotions are a part of yourself and part of being honest
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truheart1941: ..sure .no problem.....did you have a busy night......??????.....just asking....?????....LOL...
busey night on the Irish forums,chatting to sis, drinking lots tea,such hard work.
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truheart1941: hi Rodger......its nice to meet you......you have raised a good point. there are times when asked ,why are we here....?????? and when we try to exsplain...the reason in depth. why ???..theres always someone waiting in the wings...ready to pounce on you.....as they say. kick a man , when he,s down.....not all do this...may I say.just one /two...who take delight......this is after all a dating site...or was.??...now it a platform....on polictical agenders. I have been here a few years.and inthat time , have seen many changes....people view people now......as potencial scammer/or someone looking for a free ride.......sad really.....one day ,I hope things may return to normal......have a nice day true/H.
your reply is from a mans perspective and the thread is about men..------ This thread is Archived ------
peachmelba: your reply is from a mans perspective and the thread is about men..
it's made to be seen from both sides, so all opinions are valid, after all, how can a discussion emerge otherwise?
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everyone else seems to know what the OP means but I think it would help to have an example because at times I think it's accepted for a man to express deeper emotion or thought. Men can do that differently than how a woman might. But to avoid generalization, I think it would depend on the circumstance.
Are we talking about crying at the movies/cinema?
Writing a love note?
....?
Are we talking about crying at the movies/cinema?
Writing a love note?
....?
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Hi Roger,
Women are expected to be emotional, and sadly, men Aren't .. So women's concerns are taken more seriously.. JMO
Women are expected to be emotional, and sadly, men Aren't .. So women's concerns are taken more seriously.. JMO
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roger77swe: I have found out one thing that might makes some people's skinn crawl.
If a woman writes something emotionally deep from the inside, it seems ok, but as soon as a man does exactly the same, others just look at it as "he's just feeling sorry for himself". would you think that's a fair thing to do? and if so, if a guy writes something emotionally deep and does that in case of being honest, and that guy is basically rejected an falsly accused of just "feeling sorry for himself". then, what is honesty?
just a deep question from the deep of mind:)
If a woman writes something emotionally deep from the inside, it seems ok, but as soon as a man does exactly the same, others just look at it as "he's just feeling sorry for himself". would you think that's a fair thing to do? and if so, if a guy writes something emotionally deep and does that in case of being honest, and that guy is basically rejected an falsly accused of just "feeling sorry for himself". then, what is honesty?
just a deep question from the deep of mind:)
Women seek sympathy and men seek solutions.
Women, too, are just feeling sorry for themselves, but the difference is that sympathy-seeking is the natural state for a woman so women are not criticised for doing this. However, if men started being like this there would be no one to deal with the real problems at hand and the whole world would descend into sympathy-seeking, self-promotion mewling gossip, circle jerking and a collective burying of one's head in the sand. The world would descend into a cluckfest.
A man simply lacks the ego to feel that his personal problem should be a problem for everybody else.
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serena123: Hi Roger,
Women are expected to be emotional, and sadly, men Aren't .. So women's concerns are taken more seriously.. JMO
yes that's why we see young men committing sucide.its a fact and one to that seriously needs to be highlighted and addressed without this,"oh man up attitude,....Women are expected to be emotional, and sadly, men Aren't .. So women's concerns are taken more seriously.. JMO
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He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.
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Obstinance_Works: Women seek sympathy and men seek solutions.
Women, too, are just feeling sorry for themselves, but the difference is that sympathy-seeking is the natural state for a woman so women are not criticised for doing this. However, if men started being like this there would be no one to deal with the real problems at hand and the whole world would descend into sympathy-seeking, self-promotion mewling gossip, circle jerking and a collective burying of one's head in the sand. The world would descend into a cluckfest.
A man simply lacks the ego to feel that his personal problem should be a problem for everybody else.
Women, too, are just feeling sorry for themselves, but the difference is that sympathy-seeking is the natural state for a woman so women are not criticised for doing this. However, if men started being like this there would be no one to deal with the real problems at hand and the whole world would descend into sympathy-seeking, self-promotion mewling gossip, circle jerking and a collective burying of one's head in the sand. The world would descend into a cluckfest.
A man simply lacks the ego to feel that his personal problem should be a problem for everybody else.
I would have agreed with you if you had put "some" in front of both "women" and "men" in your first sentence AND if you would have stated this can also be the reverse (regarding some men)
I have seen some comments on other threads, from both men & women, that others may label as seeking sympathy, yet I don't always feel that way. As, we all have times when we can feel vulnerable, sad, confused, etc....and expressing those feelings in hopes of some uplifting comments can make us feel comforted and better for reaching out.
We are human and are instilled with emotions/feelings in both our hearts and souls, so we aren't always happy and/or positive. Sometimes having someone to talk to can make all the difference in the world!
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Obstinance_Works: Women seek sympathy and men seek solutions.
Women, too, are just feeling sorry for themselves, but the difference is that sympathy-seeking is the natural state for a woman so women are not criticised for doing this. However, if men started being like this there would be no one to deal with the real problems at hand and the whole world would descend into sympathy-seeking, self-promotion mewling gossip, circle jerking and a collective burying of one's head in the sand. The world would descend into a cluckfest.
A man simply lacks the ego to feel that his personal problem should be a problem for everybody else.
Women, too, are just feeling sorry for themselves, but the difference is that sympathy-seeking is the natural state for a woman so women are not criticised for doing this. However, if men started being like this there would be no one to deal with the real problems at hand and the whole world would descend into sympathy-seeking, self-promotion mewling gossip, circle jerking and a collective burying of one's head in the sand. The world would descend into a cluckfest.
A man simply lacks the ego to feel that his personal problem should be a problem for everybody else.
That's already happened in a good chunk of the world already.
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If a woman writes something emotionally deep from the inside, it seems ok, but as soon as a man does exactly the same, others just look at it as "he's just feeling sorry for himself". would you think that's a fair thing to do? and if so, if a guy writes something emotionally deep and does that in case of being honest, and that guy is basically rejected an falsly accused of just "feeling sorry for himself". then, what is honesty?
just a deep question from the deep of mind:)