We don't choose who we fall in love with. (97)
bungallow55: you're a lawyer? I need one, want to file lawsuit against Russia
She's a lawyer. And she worked Pro Bono for 'The Innocence Project'(it's like Amnesty)so she'd be the type to want to punish a man like Putin. Who'd have thought that someone like me would end up with a lawyer, and a do-gooder lawyer at that?
My expertise is engineering. I could sabotage Russia's gas network if that's any good to you?
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Obstinance_Works: She's a lawyer. And she worked Pro Bono for 'The Innocence Project'(it's like Amnesty)so she'd be the type to want to punish a man like Putin. Who'd have thought that someone like me would end up with a lawyer, and a do-gooder lawyer at that?
My expertise is engineering. I could sabotage Russia's gas network if that's any good to you?
My expertise is engineering. I could sabotage Russia's gas network if that's any good to you?
Ya man, you're the one, blast that skunk
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BerrySmoothie: Obs....seriously....I would give this site a break for a few days.
You won't start to feel better until you've made a decision.
Take time out for yourself.
That's my personal advice to you.
Talk it over with your girlfriend.
It's a decision to be made by you both.
Coming on here is just a distraction, procrastinating from dealing with it.
As much as we'd like to, we can't help you with this.
You won't start to feel better until you've made a decision.
Take time out for yourself.
That's my personal advice to you.
Talk it over with your girlfriend.
It's a decision to be made by you both.
Coming on here is just a distraction, procrastinating from dealing with it.
As much as we'd like to, we can't help you with this.
That is what it is. I do like to talk about it here because none of you know anyone involved.
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Obstinance_Works: Yea, it's about 100 miles. And I'm much more able to move than she is because she's tied to her employer for the foreseeable whereas I can setup wherever(within reason). But it's still not beneficial for me to move.
Ideally I'd like to keep it long distance for the next couple of years, but her biological clock ticks faster than mine and it'd be more of a loss to her career to leave her job 3 years from now instead of in the next 12 months.
Ideally I'd like to keep it long distance for the next couple of years, but her biological clock ticks faster than mine and it'd be more of a loss to her career to leave her job 3 years from now instead of in the next 12 months.
Ok, I'm a practical person but that does sounds like a very practical approach even to me.
Leave kids out for the moment - can you imagine spending the rest of your life with her? Does that question gives you sweaty palms or does it make you look forward to the future? If you can live without having her around all the time, that might give you a hint.
The rest of your life can be a very long time and think it over carefully, especially when your are talking about taking on the responsibility for kids.
Best of luck.
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Obstinance_Works: She's a lawyer. And she worked Pro Bono for 'The Innocence Project'(it's like Amnesty)so she'd be the type to want to punish a man like Putin. Who'd have thought that someone like me would end up with a lawyer, and a do-gooder lawyer at that?
My expertise is engineering. I could sabotage Russia's gas network if that's any good to you?
My expertise is engineering. I could sabotage Russia's gas network if that's any good to you?
can tell your proud of her and what she does,
Why wouldn't you end up with a lawyer better than a liar,
Lol,daft joke.
A hundred miles is not that far,
I think your scared to move in, you have it all your way at the moment,
You have to fly the nest sometime,your mam will get used to it,
Then who knows you may both settle back in Manchester,with a few kids,
Be the makings of you,
Go on make her day maybe fun trying anyway,
Where there is will there is a way.
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Obstinance_Works: She's a lawyer. And she worked Pro Bono for 'The Innocence Project'(it's like Amnesty)so she'd be the type to want to punish a man like Putin. Who'd have thought that someone like me would end up with a lawyer, and a do-gooder lawyer at that?
My expertise is engineering. I could sabotage Russia's gas network if that's any good to you?
My expertise is engineering. I could sabotage Russia's gas network if that's any good to you?
can tell your proud of her and what she does,
Why wouldn't you end up with a lawyer better than a liar,
Lol,daft joke.
A hundred miles is not that far,
I think your scared to move in, you have it all your way at the moment,
You have to fly the nest sometime,your mam will get used to it,
Then who knows you may both settle back in Manchester,with a few kids,
Be the makings of you,
Go on make her day maybe fun trying anyway,
Where there is will there is a way.
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peachmelba: can tell your proud of her and what she does,
Why wouldn't you end up with a lawyer better than a liar,
Lol,daft joke.
A hundred miles is not that far,
I think your scared to move in, you have it all your way at the moment,
You have to fly the nest sometime,your mam will get used to it,
Then who knows you may both settle back in Manchester,with a few kids,
Be the makings of you,
Go on make her day maybe fun trying anyway,
Where there is will there is a way.
Why wouldn't you end up with a lawyer better than a liar,
Lol,daft joke.
A hundred miles is not that far,
I think your scared to move in, you have it all your way at the moment,
You have to fly the nest sometime,your mam will get used to it,
Then who knows you may both settle back in Manchester,with a few kids,
Be the makings of you,
Go on make her day maybe fun trying anyway,
Where there is will there is a way.
After all you never know till you try ,
.
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Obstinance_Works: Yea, it's about 100 miles. And I'm much more able to move than she is because she's tied to her employer for the foreseeable whereas I can setup wherever(within reason). But it's still not beneficial for me to move.
Ideally I'd like to keep it long distance for the next couple of years, but her biological clock ticks faster than mine and it'd be more of a loss to her career to leave her job 3 years from now instead of in the next 12 months.
Ideally I'd like to keep it long distance for the next couple of years, but her biological clock ticks faster than mine and it'd be more of a loss to her career to leave her job 3 years from now instead of in the next 12 months.
What about a halfway mark for both of you, that way you're not too far from where you want to be?
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In response to: Discuss....
Ok.
You're young....26? I presume she is around the same age?
The facts:
You're trying to establish a career for yourself where you are.
She is asking you to move to where she is, due to her work.
You are speaking of the possibility of settling down with this woman.
You talk about her biological clock ticking(it will be ticking for many years yet, if she is around your own age)
If you can't bear the thought of losing this woman, then you go. If she is THE one for you, then you go. If there is no compromise, and you are absolutely besotted with her, then you go. If you are prepared to give up what you've built with your business, thus far, then go.
If you can see a future for yourself without her, then you stay. If you love her, but feel you're still young and she is not THE one for you, then you stay. If you feel establishing a career for yourself first is more important than starting a family now, then you stay.
Is this helping?
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Obstinance_Works: You and me both. I'm starting to feel like I'm dating a sprout now actually. Not that I don't love her, but she is wanting to make me do something I don't want to do(or, more importantly, when I don't want to do it)which is move in with her some 100 miles away nowhere near my family or where my customer base is.
My desire(or part of it)is to stay around Manchester making money, establishing myself, and gallivanting around like a lothario. My conscious, however, believes as she does in settling down and having kids at a healthy age and being respectable. My modern, degenerate self-interested half is warring with my noble and traditional pro-civilisation half and it's put me in a bad mood for about two weeks. I don't know, am I just refusing to grow up if I finish with her?
My desire(or part of it)is to stay around Manchester making money, establishing myself, and gallivanting around like a lothario. My conscious, however, believes as she does in settling down and having kids at a healthy age and being respectable. My modern, degenerate self-interested half is warring with my noble and traditional pro-civilisation half and it's put me in a bad mood for about two weeks. I don't know, am I just refusing to grow up if I finish with her?
Love the rhetorical self-questioning.
Best of luck as this is only between you and her, a ton of advice means nothing unless it is your advice to yourself and of course whether you take it.
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peachmelba: After all you never know till you try ,
.
.
Just to mention that what we know of ob don't think he be the type to sacrifice a career that means alot to him and what he has worked for and a that is important to a man ,
Hope they both work something out .
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JeanKimberley: Love the rhetorical self-questioning.
Best of luck as this is only between you and her, a ton of advice means nothing unless it is your advice to yourself and of course whether you take it.
Best of luck as this is only between you and her, a ton of advice means nothing unless it is your advice to yourself and of course whether you take it.
and how about You and I?
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peachmelba: Just to mention that what we know of ob don't think he be the type to sacrifice a career that means alot to him and what he has worked for and a that is important to a man ,
Hope they both work something out .
Hope they both work something out .
There's no need to sacrifice a career because you move in with someone. Unless he's going to be a "home Dad", which, I suspect would be highly unlikely in OW's case
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bungallow55: and how about You and I?
It's a long way for both of us to leave the sunshine and fly to Scotland.
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unlaoised: What about a halfway mark for both of you, that way you're not too far from where you want to be?
For me that would be a case of same difference(except a bit closer to my family). And for her it would be a lot worse. It'd be more of a loss overall to meet halfway.
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Obstinance_Works: For me that would be a case of same difference(except a bit closer to my family). And for her it would be a lot worse. It'd be more of a loss overall to meet halfway.
What do you think you have to lose if you move in,?
Is it that it's just more convenient for you living in greater Manchester career wise ie more potencial,
Sometimes sacrifices are worth making if you want it enough.
Yes only you can answer that and your inner voice will tell you ,,
And usually does in the quiet ,just put aside some time to have a think ,and even if that means no access to here for awhile,
No distractions,
Best luck .
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Obstinance_Works: You and me both. I'm starting to feel like I'm dating a sprout now actually. Not that I don't love her, but she is wanting to make me do something I don't want to do(or, more importantly, when I don't want to do it)which is move in with her some 100 miles away nowhere near my family or where my customer base is.
My desire(or part of it)is to stay around Manchester making money, establishing myself, and gallivanting around like a lothario. My conscious, however, believes as she does in settling down and having kids at a healthy age and being respectable. My modern, degenerate self-interested half is warring with my noble and traditional pro-civilisation half and it's put me in a bad mood for about two weeks. I don't know, am I just refusing to grow up if I finish with her?
My desire(or part of it)is to stay around Manchester making money, establishing myself, and gallivanting around like a lothario. My conscious, however, believes as she does in settling down and having kids at a healthy age and being respectable. My modern, degenerate self-interested half is warring with my noble and traditional pro-civilisation half and it's put me in a bad mood for about two weeks. I don't know, am I just refusing to grow up if I finish with her?
Ah, when one feels forced to do things he doesn't want or doesn't like, it is very rear to be happy after deciding to accept those changes. Speaking from my own experience I almost never agreed to do or accept anything that felt not right for me and when I did I turned into a person I couldn't recognise anymore and definitely did not like.
We do choose who to love, as "loving" somebody is not only the feeling we have for him/her, when two people share their lives there is much more to it then endorphins.
As for biological clocks and blah blah...I had my one and only child at the age of 38 and it felt soooo right I couldn't believe it myself. But then again everyone decides for themselves, you can't fool your guts for sure...
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KremaP: Ah, when one feels forced to do things he doesn't want or doesn't like, it is very rear to be happy after deciding to accept those changes. Speaking from my own experience I almost never agreed to do or accept anything that felt not right for me and when I did I turned into a person I couldn't recognise anymore and definitely did not like.
We do choose who to love, as "loving" somebody is not only the feeling we have for him/her, when two people share their lives there is much more to it then endorphins.
As for biological clocks and blah blah...I had my one and only child at the age of 38 and it felt soooo right I couldn't believe it myself. But then again everyone decides for themselves, you can't fool your guts for sure...
We do choose who to love, as "loving" somebody is not only the feeling we have for him/her, when two people share their lives there is much more to it then endorphins.
As for biological clocks and blah blah...I had my one and only child at the age of 38 and it felt soooo right I couldn't believe it myself. But then again everyone decides for themselves, you can't fool your guts for sure...
My mam had my youngest brother at 38 ,the other one at 37 ,the eldest brother at 27"
My nanna had one at 44 ,that's my aunt,
My dads dad was 60 wen he was born,I never got to see him tho,.
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Dragos1: Best that you get out there while you are still welcome and have a Heart. I bet you would not regret it.
is good for you.
is good for you.
.
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You won't start to feel better until you've made a decision.
Take time out for yourself.
That's my personal advice to you.
Talk it over with your girlfriend.
It's a decision to be made by you both.
Coming on here is just a distraction, procrastinating from dealing with it.
As much as we'd like to, we can't help you with this.