We don't choose who we fall in love with. (97)
mollybabyCork City, Cork Ireland56 Threads 8 Polls 23,608 PostsDiscuss....
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Hiya Molly, 
just talking for me, I do to a certain extend.
I could never be reasonable and fall for someone who looked "right on paper".
However, if I met someone I liked or had a thing for and got the message that he isn't exactly the kind and caring type, I can wean myself off these feelings quick enough.
I don't think I could be with someone for any length of time who would be "bad" for me in some way.
just talking for me, I do to a certain extend.I could never be reasonable and fall for someone who looked "right on paper".
However, if I met someone I liked or had a thing for and got the message that he isn't exactly the kind and caring type, I can wean myself off these feelings quick enough.
I don't think I could be with someone for any length of time who would be "bad" for me in some way.
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KNenagh: Hiya Molly, just talking for me, I do to a certain extend.
I could never be reasonable and fall for someone who looked "right on paper".
However, if I met someone I liked or had a thing for and got the message that he isn't exactly the kind and caring type, I can wean myself off these feelings quick enough.
I don't think I could be with someone for any length of time who would be "bad" for me in some way.
I could never be reasonable and fall for someone who looked "right on paper".
However, if I met someone I liked or had a thing for and got the message that he isn't exactly the kind and caring type, I can wean myself off these feelings quick enough.
I don't think I could be with someone for any length of time who would be "bad" for me in some way.
Thanks KN
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Thread: We don't choose who we fall in love with.
It depends on the stage of our life, I believe.
1st. love is more emotioal than rational, after it could be a balance between emotional+rational and later in life it is more rational but there has to be a combination of those factors that make us fall.
In my case:
Why would I want to have a relationship with someone that is way too busy and has no time to enjoy life? when I have done it already in my life for 24 yr? no way I will repeat that scenario = rational.
mollybaby: Discuss....
It depends on the stage of our life, I believe.
1st. love is more emotioal than rational, after it could be a balance between emotional+rational and later in life it is more rational but there has to be a combination of those factors that make us fall.
In my case:
Why would I want to have a relationship with someone that is way too busy and has no time to enjoy life? when I have done it already in my life for 24 yr? no way I will repeat that scenario = rational.
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mollybaby: Discuss....
some things we have no control over, and sometimes that's the way it should be
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mollybaby: Discuss....
Well, my mommy and daddy chose each other and got together and made me. I had no choice about that but I loved them. 
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lifeisadream: Thread: We don't choose who we fall in love with.
It depends on the stage of our life, I believe.
1st. love is more emotioal than rational, after it could be a balance between emotional+rational and later in life it is more rational but there has to be a combination of those factors that make us fall.
In my case:
Why would I want to have a relationship with someone that is way too busy and has no time to enjoy life? when I have done it already in my life for 24 yr? no way I will repeat that scenario = rational.
It depends on the stage of our life, I believe.
1st. love is more emotioal than rational, after it could be a balance between emotional+rational and later in life it is more rational but there has to be a combination of those factors that make us fall.
In my case:
Why would I want to have a relationship with someone that is way too busy and has no time to enjoy life? when I have done it already in my life for 24 yr? no way I will repeat that scenario = rational.
I like this answer.
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It is true to an extent. Example: you are a teacher and the student is too young = hands off!
Or, you are Jewish, strong in the faith, but the hottie is not a Jew, and you've decided you can't cross that line. Which is a obviously a choice.
Or, we are married but suddenly the new post man is your soul mate! You must choose whether you want to break up your marriage or not.
We don't have total control over our chemistry/pheromones and who we end up attracted to, yet to some degree we have to remain open to those who are "appropriate" and closed to those who are not, so I think we do have alot of control.
Many people don't believe in love at first sight, or in chemistry and just find someone they believe they have compatibility with, common goals and interests. It might not be such a strong chemistry? But more of a common-sense decision?
Or, you are Jewish, strong in the faith, but the hottie is not a Jew, and you've decided you can't cross that line. Which is a obviously a choice.
Or, we are married but suddenly the new post man is your soul mate! You must choose whether you want to break up your marriage or not.
We don't have total control over our chemistry/pheromones and who we end up attracted to, yet to some degree we have to remain open to those who are "appropriate" and closed to those who are not, so I think we do have alot of control.
Many people don't believe in love at first sight, or in chemistry and just find someone they believe they have compatibility with, common goals and interests. It might not be such a strong chemistry? But more of a common-sense decision?
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I've never been in love in real life (dogs and mums/moms) excluded 
Being on the forums for many moons now
i have fallin in love so many times with various wimmin 
It hurts (god/whoever) bless my soul
...
when a man seems to be keen on the same woman 
Even though this is cyberland, it feels bad if i'm cutting s/one elses grass
.. so i just keep on keeping on 
Never know on here though maybe a woman will email me one day and say
FFS!! now my computer wants to crashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh%^$&(*(@%)-9gcvw590-0%^*()*$@#@ ............. eMaIl ME lOvEeeeeeeeeeee
Being on the forums for many moons now
i have fallin in love so many times with various wimmin It hurts (god/whoever) bless my soul
... when a man seems to be keen on the same woman Even though this is cyberland, it feels bad if i'm cutting s/one elses grass
.. so i just keep on keeping on Never know on here though
maybe a woman will email me one day and sayFFS!! now my computer wants to crashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh%^$&(*(@%)-9gcvw590-0%^*()*$@#@ ............. eMaIl ME lOvEeeeeeeeeeee
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galrads: Well, my mommy and daddy chose each other and got together and made me. I had no choice about that but I loved them.
Well my mum and dad made me ,, and made a dam job of me also 
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would a man ever consider marrying woman who is over the age of 35,,,,, nearer 50......(middle age spread)....(knee knockers)......whos powder puff...is replaced.. by polly.filler....sunken eyes....?????????
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truheart1941: would a man ever consider marrying woman who is over the age of 35,,,,, nearer 50......(middle age spread)....(knee knockers)......whos powder puff...is replaced.. by polly.filler....sunken eyes....?????????
Well i would,n dare marry any of them,,, but tell you what ,i know a few 50 year old ladies and i could offer them some mastic any time ...------ This thread is Archived ------
mollybaby: Discuss....
I think that attraction is one thing...we don't/can't choose that but at this age, I can most definitely choose who I fall in love with...love takes time to develop and I can and have stopped it before it got to that stage
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mollybaby: Discuss....
am no discuss i real love you
u ------ This thread is Archived ------
well first, I think a lot of folk here are talking about attraction. but attraction can leave to love so fine. I do not think we choose who we are attracted to, and if we have the chance to fall in love, I do not think we choose those feelings. What we chose is whether we will do what's needed to have the opportunity to develop those love feelings.
I have met a few men who I think, given the opportunity, I could fall in love with them....IDK that there will be that opportunity, however.
I have met a few men who I think, given the opportunity, I could fall in love with them....IDK that there will be that opportunity, however.
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mollybaby: Discuss....
maybe...maybe not....
i do think love is a choice. opening one's heart and being vulnerable with another is a choice.
keeping one's heart open...another choice.
folks fall in and out of love all the time. they're making those choices.
to love or be loved?...not to mention all the flavours and types of 'love'?
for me...it's too complicated. so i'd rather focus on just trying to 'be love'....
try to consciously act with kindness and compassion .....
It would be grand if we could all find that magic person and feel loved...but realistically...how likely is that? i can only be responsible for how i feel, other folks are responsible for how they feel. so i focus on me becoming more aware and treating others with kindness and compassion as best i can.
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jono7: maybe...maybe not....
i do think love is a choice. opening one's heart and being vulnerable with another is a choice.
keeping one's heart open...another choice.
folks fall in and out of love all the time. they're making those choices.
to love or be loved?...not to mention all the flavours and types of 'love'?
for me...it's too complicated. so i'd rather focus on just trying to 'be love'....
try to consciously act with kindness and compassion .....
It would be grand if we could all find that magic person and feel loved...but realistically...how likely is that? i can only be responsible for how i feel, other folks are responsible for how they feel. so i focus on me becoming more aware and treating others with kindness and compassion as best i can.
i do think love is a choice. opening one's heart and being vulnerable with another is a choice.
keeping one's heart open...another choice.
folks fall in and out of love all the time. they're making those choices.
to love or be loved?...not to mention all the flavours and types of 'love'?
for me...it's too complicated. so i'd rather focus on just trying to 'be love'....
try to consciously act with kindness and compassion .....
It would be grand if we could all find that magic person and feel loved...but realistically...how likely is that? i can only be responsible for how i feel, other folks are responsible for how they feel. so i focus on me becoming more aware and treating others with kindness and compassion as best i can.
lovely. I like a lot of what you are saying. I have never been able to choose not to love someone but I can think of times I have chosen to not show.....mistakes mistakes....fear of vulnerability.....it's like having no coat in the cold ...LOL :)------ This thread is Archived ------
jono7: maybe...maybe not....
i do think love is a choice. opening one's heart and being vulnerable with another is a choice.
keeping one's heart open...another choice.
folks fall in and out of love all the time. they're making those choices.
to love or be loved?...not to mention all the flavours and types of 'love'?
for me...it's too complicated. so i'd rather focus on just trying to 'be love'....
try to consciously act with kindness and compassion .....
It would be grand if we could all find that magic person and feel loved...but realistically...how likely is that? i can only be responsible for how i feel, other folks are responsible for how they feel. so i focus on me becoming more aware and treating others with kindness and compassion as best i can.
i do think love is a choice. opening one's heart and being vulnerable with another is a choice.
keeping one's heart open...another choice.
folks fall in and out of love all the time. they're making those choices.
to love or be loved?...not to mention all the flavours and types of 'love'?
for me...it's too complicated. so i'd rather focus on just trying to 'be love'....
try to consciously act with kindness and compassion .....
It would be grand if we could all find that magic person and feel loved...but realistically...how likely is that? i can only be responsible for how i feel, other folks are responsible for how they feel. so i focus on me becoming more aware and treating others with kindness and compassion as best i can.
Well said Jo.
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mollybaby: Discuss....
You can't choose to love someone because your head says so.
You can't choose not to love someone because your head says so.
You can love someone then choose whether to act on this feeling. And that's about it.
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It happens....sometimes in the most unlikeliest places, unlikeliest circumstances and unlikeliest times.
One then chooses to either explore it, enjoy it or ignore it.
One then chooses to either explore it, enjoy it or ignore it.
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