jac_the_gripper: Very occasionally I hear my own heartbeat in my ear and it leaves me squirming.
Well done for the positive mental attitude there Jono, and I hope all goes well with your upcoming appointment.
thank you, jac.
initially, it was very isolating...a kind of loneliness i hadn't experienced. i am grateful for the kindness of friends, including CS members (which has played an important part in my healing several times). and i want to add, that BB has been absolutely critical to me getting this far. there were some dark times in my mind at the beginning. He provided me with resources, instructions, cd's, taught me some meditation methods...he even made waves cd's (white noise) so i could fall asleep. He also introduced me to solfeggio vibrations which i listen to as well. any pressure on my head (like head on a pillow, a hat...) intensifies the pounding. with time, and practice with my breathing i've learned to cope with it, and sometimes i can breathe under it...if that makes sense. i can pretty much go most places now, although art openings and pubs catapult me back to isolation.
i think you will understand...lotsa folks don't. the thing i miss the most, is the silence in my head. but as i said, i'm stoked about this appt. and i have had maybe half a dozen moments of silence this year.
I think the important thing is hearing experience. There are times when I've been driven to distraction with pain, noise I don't want to hear, noise I badly do want to hear, but can't, etc.
I've said earlier the more I understand my hearing experience, the easier it gets.
When I first had my hearing tested, I was rather quickly bundled into an MRI scanner. It was all very anxiety provoking because no one explained to me why, other than 'just checking'.
They then they lost my results and I had to chase around the NHS...on the phone. I was eventually directed to the Ear, Nose and Throat receptionist who gabbled at me.
"I'm sorry," I said, "I didn't hear any of that."
"Oh," she replied, "the problem must be at your end. I can hear you perfectly well."
I then had an appointment with a specialist who gabbled on about technicalities, gave me the all clear (from what I don't know), but couldn't explain any of my issues. He was rather surprised when I quickly left, struggling to hold back my tears.
It was the medical technicians I saw later who understood hearing experience and could provide some useful information.
I kinda hope that this thread can bridge some of the gap between hearing experiences, fully hearing and not.
Just trying to remember to face others with hearing difficulties, or recognising that sounds we can't hear can cause pain instead, helps.
Let us know how your appointment goes, Jono. I for one, am all ears.
Hiya Jac I've never paid much attention to the sound a light bulb makes but now that you've asked, I just had to go take a listen to an led bulb in my kitchen and yep, I can hear it faintly. There are just so many different background sounds going on all the time that I think we tend to tune them out.
SingleGuyInOzMelbourne, Victoria Australia1,043 posts
jac_the_gripper: That's interesting that you say your tinnitus masks external noises. I asked that question earlier in the thread.
Do you lipread to supplement your hearing, Sing?
I try my best to lipread but really not much good at it, especially when there's lots of movement going on and not sure where to look . Probably partly explains why i'm much less social these days and tend to keep myself to myself.
Yeah, I'm not overly sociable, particularly in groups for the same reason, Sing.
It's one of the reasons I like the forums - I get to interact in a group setting.
Lipreading is tiring, I think most people find that. I'm pretty unabashed with being a deaf old granny, though. I've no qualms about telling people I can't hear them unless they look at me.
Interestingly, I find children often cotton on and adapt to my needs much more quickly than adults. I suppose they must lipread in the process of learning to form words.
lifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico16,713 posts
jac_the_gripper: I'm astounded that so many people can hear light bulbs.
I can understand how it's possible because I can hear the ancient strip light in my kitchen rumbling away in a most irritating manner.
It just sounded so preposterous to me at first - surely the whole idea is that you see light bulbs, not listen to them! I must be getting cu-cu just like some CSrs because I had to check the light bulbs noise
PS. Please refrain for falling asleep on my interesting thread. I can not hear you
It was the medical technicians I saw later who understood hearing experience and could provide some useful information.
I kinda hope that this thread can bridge some of the gap between hearing experiences, fully hearing and not.
i hear ya...... (grin)
like you, i went through several drs, specialists, till finally...one of them not only knew what i was trying to explain...but had other patients with same or similar issues (not only can i not hear what i want to hear, i 'hear' stuff that ain't there...thought i was going crazy). not that a label is important, but i was relieved to find out it was physical. and i also can feel your pain...there were times in the beginning i had some pretty dark thoughts when the pain wouldn't stop. having information and a belief that there's help has made a big difference.
i loved "the problem must be at your end".....hilarious...would be great as part of a comedy routine in a dr office..
i will let you know when i know....(it's been years now, trying to get it sorted, so don't be going and holdin' yur breath yet... )
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