Does your pasion dictate that you must be right or can you agree to disagree? (26)
GregKeegan: So often in relationships I have found that what should be simple discussions or debates between my partner and myself, turn into full blown arguments because neither one of us would agree to disagree and just respect the others opinion even if we didn't agree to it. These days I like to think I have changed and am open to anyones opinion and are happy for them to have it through agreeing to disagreeing.
What are the things that you can't do this with? Is there any subjects or things that you are so passionate about that if someone else is not in agreeance with you that you just can't abide them or have them as a friend or contact?
I know that this could get heated as we all have different opinions on so many things but hopefully we can have good debate through it.
What are the things that you can't do this with? Is there any subjects or things that you are so passionate about that if someone else is not in agreeance with you that you just can't abide them or have them as a friend or contact?
I know that this could get heated as we all have different opinions on so many things but hopefully we can have good debate through it.
- about opinions, It's fun to argue;
- about beliefs.it's not so fun to argue
Debating ideas can be educational and entertaining, as long is done with people mature enough. Unfortunately we can only do it with 5% CS-
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Kaylana04: I would always look back a step - What is the belief driving the passion?
And then ask, what energy are you (or the other person) acting in : masculine or feminine?
A masculine energy is driven to reach a conclusion, a goal here say.
A feminine energy is cyclic and is never ending. The process is more important than reaching a conclusion.
To cause a female to act masculine results in fear and stress clouding judgement. (Why can't a woman decide what shoes to wear???)
So, in a passionate discussion, a person, if acting in the opposing biological position, may be making errors or exhibiting poor judgement... And even sabotaging themselves unknowingly....
If they are pulled into their correct energy, the stress resolves and clear thinking returns.
This works for both genders.
Regarding subjects: we have to go back a step and look at classification.
Are we using positive division or a Dichotomy?
Which method is the opposing person using and why?
It is almost impossible to debate with someone if they are using dichotomy. They believe there is only one side or the other.
And if we are talking about "beliefs"... There is no point to further the discussion.
By the way, I'm not saying that picking out shoes is a masculine task.
And then ask, what energy are you (or the other person) acting in : masculine or feminine?
A masculine energy is driven to reach a conclusion, a goal here say.
A feminine energy is cyclic and is never ending. The process is more important than reaching a conclusion.
To cause a female to act masculine results in fear and stress clouding judgement. (Why can't a woman decide what shoes to wear???)
So, in a passionate discussion, a person, if acting in the opposing biological position, may be making errors or exhibiting poor judgement... And even sabotaging themselves unknowingly....
If they are pulled into their correct energy, the stress resolves and clear thinking returns.
This works for both genders.
Regarding subjects: we have to go back a step and look at classification.
Are we using positive division or a Dichotomy?
Which method is the opposing person using and why?
It is almost impossible to debate with someone if they are using dichotomy. They believe there is only one side or the other.
And if we are talking about "beliefs"... There is no point to further the discussion.
By the way, I'm not saying that picking out shoes is a masculine task.
I like to think that I am in touch with both my masculine and feminine energies and act according to the influence of both. Unfortunately, not everyone understands that within all of us are both energies and both have a powerful influence over ones actions and beliefs. Shutting one down and refusing to accept and learn from it is detrimental to mind, body and spirit. I think that the more people realise this the more balanced society would become and istead of only having mainly grown adults we would have loads more mature adults in this world. There is a big difference between becoming a adult and becoming a mature masculine or feminine adult energy. I hope and like to think that I have become a mature masculine energy who is also in touch with his feminine side. :)
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GregKeegan: The one thing that i have learnt over the years is that if I had had the same life with all it's trials and tribulations, inputs and influences as another, without projecting my personal thinking and comparing them to me, the chances are that I would be exactly the same as them and act and behave in the same manner. I really do not like the way lots of people behave and will defend the weaker in most circumstances but something prevents me from judging another for their actions when they are so fare removed from my own in that situation.
I do understand what you are saying as I was not always like this. I guess my compassion and empathy for people has grown over the years and now I try to see things though open eyes and heart rather than straight up judgemental blindness when I see peoples behaviors that in the past I would have just gotten angry at and refused to consider the causes that made them the way they are. Not saying that you are being judgemental in any way, Just relating what you say to myself and doing a self analysis of the changes that has happened for me over time. Thanks for your input. :)
I do understand what you are saying as I was not always like this. I guess my compassion and empathy for people has grown over the years and now I try to see things though open eyes and heart rather than straight up judgemental blindness when I see peoples behaviors that in the past I would have just gotten angry at and refused to consider the causes that made them the way they are. Not saying that you are being judgemental in any way, Just relating what you say to myself and doing a self analysis of the changes that has happened for me over time. Thanks for your input. :)
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GregKeegan: I like to think that I am in touch with both my masculine and feminine energies and act according to the influence of both. Unfortunately, not everyone understands that within all of us are both energies and both have a powerful influence over ones actions and beliefs. Shutting one down and refusing to accept and learn from it is detrimental to mind, body and spirit. I think that the more people realise this the more balanced society would become and istead of only having mainly grown adults we would have loads more mature adults in this world. There is a big difference between becoming a adult and becoming a mature masculine or feminine adult energy. I hope and like to think that I have become a mature masculine energy who is also in touch with his feminine side. :)
Thats very well put Greg.
I agree 100% with this.
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GregKeegan: I like to think that I am in touch with both my masculine and feminine energies and act according to the influence of both. Unfortunately, not everyone understands that within all of us are both energies and both have a powerful influence over ones actions and beliefs. Shutting one down and refusing to accept and learn from it is detrimental to mind, body and spirit. I think that the more people realise this the more balanced society would become and istead of only having mainly grown adults we would have loads more mature adults in this world. There is a big difference between becoming a adult and becoming a mature masculine or feminine adult energy. I hope and like to think that I have become a mature masculine energy who is also in touch with his feminine side. :)
Yes, being aware is important.
I used to never understand why I was in competition with my ex when it came to cooking or other household tasks. Yet, he appreciated my ability to fix a toilet and trim the grass. Years later he admitted to being homo.
So, if I had known that the basis of our arguments was him acting in his feminine and me feeling in competition, my eyes would have opened long ago and I would not have felt so jealous or negative.
I am much wiser now and happier too!
Any disagreement or debate can be easily clouded with emotion, particularly if we are stressed.
Skills in helping our partners (or opponents) to lower their stress are indispensable.
Hindsight is 20/20....
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Children being the top of my list.
Empathy for child abusers rattles my cage and dont have time for it.
Misognyists annoy me...one in particular.
Im learning to accept peoples opinions on these topics.
The elderly and animals are also passionate subjects for me.
Everyone else in between can look after themselves..
The one thing that i have learnt over the years is that if I had had the same life with all it's trials and tribulations, inputs and influences as another, without projecting my personal thinking and comparing them to me, the chances are that I would be exactly the same as them and act and behave in the same manner. I really do not like the way lots of people behave and will defend the weaker in most circumstances but something prevents me from judging another for their actions when they are so fare removed from my own in that situation.
I do understand what you are saying as I was not always like this. I guess my compassion and empathy for people has grown over the years and now I try to see things though open eyes and heart rather than straight up judgemental blindness when I see peoples behaviors that in the past I would have just gotten angry at and refused to consider the causes that made them the way they are. Not saying that you are being judgemental in any way, Just relating what you say to myself and doing a self analysis of the changes that has happened for me over time. Thanks for your input. :)