What is our experience of Emotional intelligence ? (116)
rainbowdream2017Melbourne, Victoria Australia13 Threads 1 Polls 2,486 PostsI wish to thank everyone here in your interest to share your wisdom /thoughts and contribution to this topic. Please try to be patient with my respond to each person,I am on the go and on my mobile,which takes more time in typing. 
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Rainbowwwww....my girl , where are you ? 
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rainbowdream2017: I wish to thank everyone here in your interest to share your wisdom /thoughts and contribution to this topic. Please try to be patient with my respond to each person,I am on the go and on my mobile,which takes more time in typing.
thank you for clarification , appreciated ( bad mobile I have ever see ) 
Just fun
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MsContessa: Great post Rainbow and interesting contributions. In my opinion, I believe that emotional intelligence is something that is learnt throughout life. Many will question the why, where, when, who, what, and how of an emotion that is causing conflict within themselves to gain extra knowledge and understanding in order to deal with it. Men for the most part inhabit environments geared to the macho male where emotions don’t exist (tongue in cheek). However, I found from research that men are far more vulnerable than women! Knowledge is power and emotional knowledge will ensure that the hurdles on life’s journey are so much easier to overcome. All of life’s coping skills should be taught in schools from an early age including emotional intelligence.
I wish to thank people like you for making this a great post.In almost all posts on this thread and others, I find some intriguing points to see as valuable treasure and it expends my opportunity to learn what ever I find useful for my needs of understanding ...is giving me a special insight, it's like discovering a gift within the comment and a joy in unwrapping process, discovering, before getting to it ...
Tottaly agree with all you stated. I love that part about 'an emotion that is causing conflict within themselves to gain extra knowladge and understanding in order to deal with it.'
I prefer to see that every emotion we experience within self and in interaction with others is a gift, as long is not a derogatory - undermining put downs but even from them, we learn about ourselves and others, because a person can't hurt you, unless we let it. It's often our reaction which teach us the most about ourselves, if there's aria that needs healing - until no longer is a trigger for us.
Nothing has any meaning until we give it meaning or maybe some times we add a bit of our own story, true processing emotional informations we receiving (in our mind or for real) ? It might be story of our different daily mood or how we feel under pressure of life or how we feel generally of ourselves.
We're all daily subjected to more put downs than we probably thought, they're everywhere, where ever we go, at work - stuff we put up with managing difficult people, everything we see on TV ads, movies we watch, different group of people trying to tell us that we're not good enough: if we don't follow latest fashion, if we don't think in a certain way that is preferable to majority for approval, or have a certain skills etc. and all this subtly attack our self easteem and our self worth.It's good to be aware of the subtle put downs,from where ever they might come from,put downs which try to destroy our sense of value, and learning how to emotionally detach from everything that doesn't feel right and good for our well being, including detachment from toxic poison criticism when is not made in an constructive way to support person in learning anything but to attempt questioning other person self worth -value.
We all make mistakes and have flaws but there's difference in given attitude and people who heavily criticize others, finding only faults and nothing to say positive, this people are probably unaware of how much pain they themselves are experiencing, pitful nature of the emptiness, frustrations ....
as happy people don't have the need to belittling target, to manufactor superiority, to manufactor arguments in their favour, to manufactor distractions, blame shifting, nitpicking our words and sentences, to end up with ridiculous discussions about the dictionary definition of kindness, consideration etc.
We all have something to learn ....
I've heard some scientist advise that, it would benefits us all to learn to speak in equations !
That was an new inspirational thought for me to process....
In mathematic, is a statment of an equality, solving the equation consist of determining which values of the variable make the EQUALITY TRUE.
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Things like alcohol, stress, and lack of sleep can impair emotional intelligence. Have to be aware of the state of mind your in and judge accordingly.
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ali110: thank you for clarification , appreciated ( bad mobile I have ever see )
Just fun
It takes ages ...my fingers are not made like a pan, which I lost it somewhere...Just fun
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Track16: Things like alcohol, stress, and lack of sleep can impair emotional intelligence. Have to be aware of the state of mind your in and judge accordingly.
... and also be aware of another person state of mind because apparantly, when you treat people the same way they treat you, they get offended.Lucky,we have a more pleasent civilized people ( like you and many others) to brighten our day.
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ali110: Rainbowwwww....my girl , where are you ?
It's labour day, holiday, I've done my shift this morning and now enjoy freeeeedom in nature, and yet can't get away from my addiction with phone. ------ This thread is Archived ------
rainbowdream2017: ... and also be aware of another person state of mind because apparantly, when you treat people the same way they treat you, they get offended.
Lucky,we have a more pleasent civilized people ( like you and many others) to brighten our day.
Lucky,we have a more pleasent civilized people ( like you and many others) to brighten our day.
People love to get offended
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HexagonKeySet: :rofl: Yeah, yer may well be a big daft NITDDA but yes ... take a small sample of words, drop em into google search, find the original source and hey presto, there's your question answered ... it's a CnP from an intelligent and literate write ... ewuarly taht can sepll as well ! :rofl: as I know you'll take that 'as intended' Lookin'!
Anyway, I see you are already ejected and 'In the bar' so, I've no doubt that my simple kindness in pointing out that you're actually correct in your observations will result in my early ejection so, order me a pint of Guinness and Ploughman's Lunch (Heavy on the pickles please)
I'm sure my parenthood, genetics, upbringing and sanity will be discussed at length ... and a full and proper diagnosis will be given?
Thank you for sharing your 'gift' of view, arrogant condensending act of manufactured superiority of Nacissist.Anyway, I see you are already ejected and 'In the bar' so, I've no doubt that my simple kindness in pointing out that you're actually correct in your observations will result in my early ejection so, order me a pint of Guinness and Ploughman's Lunch (Heavy on the pickles please)
I'm sure my parenthood, genetics, upbringing and sanity will be discussed at length ... and a full and proper diagnosis will be given?
Some times you might have a charming exterior effect....until you find something deep personal in another person general discassion post that enraged you to become bully who feels entitlement to control the dialogue, which is really false sense of power.
I don't know what triggers your emotional problems but what ever it is, I suggest, don't get upset with the mirror but fix the reflection !
Thank you, I can't accept your gift.
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DoubleFantasy: You did what you had to. I think he is ok really up until this point where he "threw a wobbly" / tantrum, and not sure where it all fell down. He is hurting as he started a thread on it but i think its been taken down and we should hope he will bounce back, back to his usual jovial self, and not be disgruntled
Yes, all this bullies /serial provocators are hurting, they are experts at seeking easy going target and when target essentially put them in their place, they continue to play games on another thread to discuss about me being 'sensitive snowlake' or what ever ...in shifting blame, in the enhancement of their pathetic ego. Possible to boost their own missing confidence ?
I think this type missing acknowladgent of their own importance, to seek reaction from me - while they dont realise, how much is obvious that they give me (unwanted) importance, that they care to take notice of what I post, which suppose to be irrelevant for someone who doesn't care ! There's something definitely wrong with this people who wants to intentionally insoult with rudeness, who are determent to try picking what's wrong about me and can't handle whats right about me or my views ... Someone may not like what I say but one can always know where he/she stands with me, I don't do fakness, my nature is naked.
I enjoy if someone respectfully provocks my mind to invoked in me seeing things from a different angle of perspectiveness, which so far I find that in you....and in different way with some other people.
It was not so long ago that bilingual people where treated as mentaly impered, specially when someone like me make mistakes in spelling or some times feeling limited in expressions...(depending how state of mind at the time effects me ) and while some people shows much thoughtful understanding, overlooking small mistakes and rather focusing on what's at hand with topic, which is part of INCLUSION, some bullies prefer to pick everything wrong in how I express myself and multiply it, with intention to make me feel badly about myself, to sink to that person level and it's tempting ...
The difference between me and disrespectful provocators is, I can feel remorse but this weak emotionally immature bullys, does not show any remorse and sympathy, even worse,they secretly hope that they will brake my spirit - which is type of crup that cowards do, that shouldn't be taken to heart as it's everything to do with them and nothing to do with me. I don't tolerate crup.
From what I've learn, emotional intelligence is not agreablness, it's not optimism, it's not happiness, is not calmness, and as important as all this qualities are, have little to do with emotions, and almost nothing to do with emotional intelligence.
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rainbowdream2017: I didn't make this thread for the purpose to judge anyone, nor I want to be judged by others but to discuss and learn from each other...
American Psychologist article (and I am sorry not to remember his name but I might find later ) states that:
" ...group of widely studied personalities traits, including motives such as the need for achievement, self related concept such as self -control, emotional traits such as happiness, and social style such as assertiveness should be called what they are, rather than being mixed together in haphazard - seeming assortments and named emotional intelligence."
There's lot's of misconception about EI.
American Psychologist article (and I am sorry not to remember his name but I might find later ) states that:
" ...group of widely studied personalities traits, including motives such as the need for achievement, self related concept such as self -control, emotional traits such as happiness, and social style such as assertiveness should be called what they are, rather than being mixed together in haphazard - seeming assortments and named emotional intelligence."
There's lot's of misconception about EI.
I think I need a little work
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rainbowdream2017: Definitelly not ! Indeed, naturally curious and if I really meant to hide everything that's said, I wouldn't show that in my replay to that person.Hope that makes sense.
It tickles my funny bone
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PPC18: I could answer this question but I'm emotionally unavailable at the moment
That's ok. If you change your emotional settings, you're welcome to make input.
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Track16: It tickles my funny bone
I hear that almost every day, in this or that discrete ways ...
It seems that women biologically advences with their interests in social emotional studies - while Man seems to be less interested to discuss about EI and more interested in practical exams.
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JoyCrest: One side of emotional intelligence can be the ability to care and connect or emphatise with the loved one, which is an enriching experience. But not easy to control negative emotions because this is a part of being human... we can try to be always positive but this means fighting and faking our emotions. Perhaps we should learn to tolerate pain, but acceptance cannot be always good for our system.
Now, the post that for some, not complitely explained self - reason to me, touch me deeper... I like youre revolutionary spirit and compassion with empathy.
You also dealt with lot's of battles when you expressed your political views, many where fighting against anything you said, and you survived and learned how to deal with them. It's always going to be those that project in you something that they want to take under control and destroy you, but people that you inspire and encourage to open their eyes will always be appreciative to learn ...
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rainbowdream2017: I hear that almost every day, in this or that discrete ways ...
It seems that women biologically advences with their interests in social emotional studies - while Man seems to be less interested to discuss about EI and more interested in practical exams.
It seems that women biologically advences with their interests in social emotional studies - while Man seems to be less interested to discuss about EI and more interested in practical exams.
Its how we are programed. Men are simpler in nature and require more practical hands on.
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rainbowdream2017: Now, the post that for some, not complitely explained self - reason to me, touch me deeper... I like youre revolutionary spirit and compassion with empathy.
You also dealt with lot's of battles when you expressed your political views, many where fighting against anything you said, and you survived and learned how to deal with them. It's always going to be those that project in you something that they want to take under control and destroy you, but people that you inspire and encourage to open their eyes will always be appreciative to learn ...
We can't and shouldn't give up to be organic self, no matter who will accept us or not, and if that means loosing 'friendship' that seeks only what they want to hear, let it be...it wasn't meant to be honest friendship anyway if I have to compromise, hide or surpresed my true self, my views and facts.You also dealt with lot's of battles when you expressed your political views, many where fighting against anything you said, and you survived and learned how to deal with them. It's always going to be those that project in you something that they want to take under control and destroy you, but people that you inspire and encourage to open their eyes will always be appreciative to learn ...
If we want an easy way to recognize differences between pretending empath manipulators from genuine empathetic people, it's important to pay attention to the way someone speak about others or us and manipulators are certainly experts in engineering chaos.
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Track16: Its how we are programed. Men are simpler in nature and require more practical hands on.
I wonder if by encouraging expression of emotions in childhood could change that ?------ This thread is Archived ------
Let_Us: #1. I APPRECIATE the courtesy, Rainy! But (with ME, anyway), you NEVER "need" permission to state your thoughts/feelings. It makes MY life easier, IF I don't have to ASK for them!
#2. I DIDN'T KNOW you worked with children! What age group? And in what way?
#3. I'm NOT familiar with any work, on eye contact. But it's VERY OLD news about "quality time" improving the development of children. (At least, primate and mammalian children.) SOME LONG time ago (I can't dredge up the date, or even the study, off the top of my head, now), a study was done with both human and primate babies. And it's a documented fact that children who aren't held and interacted with, show poor development, and adjustment to "social norms". And, with primate babies, it was shown that if a child was removed from contact with other entities (it's own species, or others) at an early enough age, even though it received food and water, it would die. Humans and primates, at least, REQUIRE "emotional" sustenance, just as much as they do food and water! And I SUSPECT that THAT is true of many OTHER animals, as well. ESPECIALLY the higher mammals, ie: whales, porpoises, bears, elephants, etc.
#4. I can understand you statement "the key is consistency", Rainy. But I have some thoughts of my own, on that topic, that you might want to consider. Consistency is good, in that it provides a framework within which, one can "build" a/their life. But, as I'm sure you're aware of, life can toss you curve balls. Even though you've got your life well "organised", you've have created a satisfactory "routine", life has a tendency to throw monkey wrenches into the BEST well oiled machines! We, here in America, have what we call "Murphy's Law". And Murphy's Law states that "If something CAN go wrong, it WILL go wrong! And USUALLY at the WORST POSSIBLE moment!" and a person needs to be prepared to deal with those "emergencies". And, if one has become USED TO/DEPENDENT on that routine, the "consistency" of their life, dealing with life's EMERGENCIES can be problematic. So a person NEEDS to learn how to "ad lib". "Think on your feet", as the old saying puts it. NOT be constrained in their thinking, by the "consistency/organization" they've created, in their life. So, while I agree that having a consistent format, in/to their life, they ALSO need to experience BREAKING the rules! Consistency teaches moral values (among other things). But life is FULL of "judgement" calls. Where there ISN'T any clear cut choice. So a child ALSO needs a little "chaos" in their life, in order to prepare them for those UNSCRIPTED moments, in life. To get them USED to making those judgment calls. So that they won't be stuck, trying to figure out what to DO, when ACTION is required, RIGHT NOW! it's all about LEARNING HOW to make choices, and MAKING those choices! One problem I perceive, in a LOT of people, NOT just children! They DON'T KNOW HOW to make choices, for themselves! So they get dragged along by the weight/momentum of OTHERS! INSTEAD of choosing what BEST FITS THEIR circumstances! And THAT will OFTEN land them in trouble. Out of letters!
#2. I DIDN'T KNOW you worked with children! What age group? And in what way?
#3. I'm NOT familiar with any work, on eye contact. But it's VERY OLD news about "quality time" improving the development of children. (At least, primate and mammalian children.) SOME LONG time ago (I can't dredge up the date, or even the study, off the top of my head, now), a study was done with both human and primate babies. And it's a documented fact that children who aren't held and interacted with, show poor development, and adjustment to "social norms". And, with primate babies, it was shown that if a child was removed from contact with other entities (it's own species, or others) at an early enough age, even though it received food and water, it would die. Humans and primates, at least, REQUIRE "emotional" sustenance, just as much as they do food and water! And I SUSPECT that THAT is true of many OTHER animals, as well. ESPECIALLY the higher mammals, ie: whales, porpoises, bears, elephants, etc.
#4. I can understand you statement "the key is consistency", Rainy. But I have some thoughts of my own, on that topic, that you might want to consider. Consistency is good, in that it provides a framework within which, one can "build" a/their life. But, as I'm sure you're aware of, life can toss you curve balls. Even though you've got your life well "organised", you've have created a satisfactory "routine", life has a tendency to throw monkey wrenches into the BEST well oiled machines! We, here in America, have what we call "Murphy's Law". And Murphy's Law states that "If something CAN go wrong, it WILL go wrong! And USUALLY at the WORST POSSIBLE moment!" and a person needs to be prepared to deal with those "emergencies". And, if one has become USED TO/DEPENDENT on that routine, the "consistency" of their life, dealing with life's EMERGENCIES can be problematic. So a person NEEDS to learn how to "ad lib". "Think on your feet", as the old saying puts it. NOT be constrained in their thinking, by the "consistency/organization" they've created, in their life. So, while I agree that having a consistent format, in/to their life, they ALSO need to experience BREAKING the rules! Consistency teaches moral values (among other things). But life is FULL of "judgement" calls. Where there ISN'T any clear cut choice. So a child ALSO needs a little "chaos" in their life, in order to prepare them for those UNSCRIPTED moments, in life. To get them USED to making those judgment calls. So that they won't be stuck, trying to figure out what to DO, when ACTION is required, RIGHT NOW! it's all about LEARNING HOW to make choices, and MAKING those choices! One problem I perceive, in a LOT of people, NOT just children! They DON'T KNOW HOW to make choices, for themselves! So they get dragged along by the weight/momentum of OTHERS! INSTEAD of choosing what BEST FITS THEIR circumstances! And THAT will OFTEN land them in trouble. Out of letters!
I think I answered on most of your questions true dialogs with other posters and don't wish to be a parrot as well you didn't left me enough space to say much. Yes, I did study children development, & disability / special needs, worked with all age from birth to adulthood. Don't expect from me too much personal details, all I can say, I do have a many years of experience in different field's connected with empowering people.
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