I'll respond why I was at fault of my relationships breaking up.
In my last relationship I wouldn't bend to his order to talk only when he said it was okay to talk. He didn't like it that I was overweight and often criticized how I looked. He couldn't deal with me standing up to him so HE dumped me in a rant that was unexpected.
WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE TO STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP: If I had let him walk all over me perhaps it might have worked for awhile, but unlikely cause I won't let anyone press their thumb on me.
In the relationship before the last, I eventually realized that he was looking for someone to foot his bills. I also knew that his personal cleanliness and the way he lived was not up to my standard. In addition, he had a very bad temper and tried to intimidate me. The handwriting was on the wall so I left him.
WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE TO STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP: Feel sorry for him being in debt because he didn't pay his bills and write check after check. Not gonna happen!!
It doesn't matter who indirectly caused the breakup. There always mitigating reasons why it didn't work.
tomcatty: You don't get a real cross-section of women on CS some would have you believe butter wouldn't melt in their mouth only to plunge the knife in the first chance they get.
I've seen enough of them over the years, but they have drifted back at the first smell of blood.
Well now aren't you just the cheerful peach today.
Now where did I leave my favorite stabbin' knife......
Butterflygirl1: I would take responsibility for staying longer then I should have which increased arguments on both sides I would walk away quicker in future.
Butterflygirl1: I would take responsibility for staying longer then I should have which increased arguments on both sides I would walk away quicker in future.
Are we back to the topic of one night stands again ?
tomcatty: I've followed your career with interest over the years, John you are mellowing a bit, have they ground you down. There are a couple of ball breakers on CS, you have been talking to them today
I’m not mellowing . I just don’t want to get another ban .
Davlos64: While I have sympathy for you , I don’t understand how anyone could date an abusive alcoholic , especially when there are children involved .
When I married my husband I didn't know that he was an alcoholic. He hid is drinking for many years. When he no longer cared about hiding bottles or showing in front of me that he drank too much the relationship broke down.
Two years after we married our daughter was born. She was a big part of his life and I stayed with him for a long time because I didn't want to upset her life.
The time came (when she was four years old) that upsetting her life had to go on the backburner because he had put me down on the floor and shoved a shotgun in my face while being greatly intoxicated. Needless to say I was scared to death. The very next day when he went to work I packed essentials and walked out the door with our daughter.
All during the years that he drank I went to AA meetings with him hoping he would get his life under control. It was a learning experience about alcoholism. The average person doesn't understand what alcoholism is nor do they understand that you cannot change an alcoholic.
Davlos64: While I have sympathy for you , I don’t understand how anyone could date an abusive alcoholic , especially when there are children involved .
My children were grown and out on their own at the time.
I take fault in the old cliche...if I love him enough he will change...
But it's so much harder for her to accept that she is fat or to accept that if there was a Mr Right a Mr Big he would deserve Ms Right. Not Sarah Jessica Parker. She can't be the bad guy.
Davlos64: I hear many complaints about men & how their abusive nature &! other unsavoury exploits are to blame for the breakdown . It takes to to tango , so to speak , so why can’t women take some of the responsibility for the breakup. Why is the man always to blame ? Do women realise it’s their constantly nagging & whining that drives their men alway.
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In my last relationship I wouldn't bend to his order to talk only when he said it was okay to talk. He didn't like it that I was overweight and often criticized how I looked. He couldn't deal with me standing up to him so HE dumped me in a rant that was unexpected.
WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE TO STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP: If I had let him walk all over me perhaps it might have worked for awhile, but unlikely cause I won't let anyone press their thumb on me.
In the relationship before the last, I eventually realized that he was looking for someone to foot his bills. I also knew that his personal cleanliness and the way he lived was not up to my standard. In addition, he had a very bad temper and tried to intimidate me. The handwriting was on the wall so I left him.
WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE TO STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP: Feel sorry for him being in debt because he didn't pay his bills and write check after check. Not gonna happen!!
It doesn't matter who indirectly caused the breakup. There always mitigating reasons why it didn't work.