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So I made a sincere study of the situation and here are the results. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together:
1. A nose ring and bifocals,
2. Spiked hair and bald spots,
3. A pierced tongue and dentures,
4. Miniskirts and support hose,
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads,
6. Speedos and cellulite,
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar,
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor,
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge,
10. Bikinis and liver spots,
11. Short shorts and varicose veins,
12. In-line skates and a walker.