Do you choose freindship based on looks? (47)
shianne: Some people wil disagree of course but i start to think when I look at general websites like facebook and in general that people seem to be atracted to people who are similar in looks to them.
For example many atractive people have atractive freinds. Many slim people have freinds which are similar. Yes i know not all ! but lots of people do. Is this think that is psychological? I hope this is clear and want to know what people here think about this please.
For example many atractive people have atractive freinds. Many slim people have freinds which are similar. Yes i know not all ! but lots of people do. Is this think that is psychological? I hope this is clear and want to know what people here think about this please.
Afternoon Shianne - I only ever had two friends who, co-incidentally, looked similar to me. One was a work colleague, people mistook us for sisters. And another when I was older whom everyone thought was my daughter. Other than that, my friends are vastly different from me.
In fact, I dont choose my friends - friendships just happen - if I`m lucky enough. At the moment my best female friend is about 4 times wider than me,with very fair looks compared to my dark one, although we about the same height! My other good buddy is a Vietnamese girl, we dont even speak the same language, but still manage somehow to communicate! Next is a Morrocan girl, about half my height, and she speaks english.
I have noticed though, that most pairs of friends are usually opposite to each other - one thin and one fat?
Like a lot of married couples I see too - One is usually very plain looking opposed to the good-looking one!
smoky: Afternoon Shianne - I only ever had two friends who, co-incidentally, looked similar to me. One was a work colleague, people mistook us for sisters. And another when I was older whom everyone thought was my daughter. Other than that, my friends are vastly different from me.
In fact, I dont choose my friends - friendships just happen - if I`m lucky enough. At the moment my best female friend is about 4 times wider than me,with very fair looks compared to my dark one, although we about the same height! My other good buddy is a Vietnamese girl, we dont even speak the same language, but still manage somehow to communicate! Next is a Morrocan girl, about half my height, and she speaks english.
I have noticed though, that most pairs of friends are usually opposite to each other - one thin and one fat?
Like a lot of married couples I see too - One is usually very plain looking opposed to the good-looking one!
In fact, I dont choose my friends - friendships just happen - if I`m lucky enough. At the moment my best female friend is about 4 times wider than me,with very fair looks compared to my dark one, although we about the same height! My other good buddy is a Vietnamese girl, we dont even speak the same language, but still manage somehow to communicate! Next is a Morrocan girl, about half my height, and she speaks english.
I have noticed though, that most pairs of friends are usually opposite to each other - one thin and one fat?
Like a lot of married couples I see too - One is usually very plain looking opposed to the good-looking one!
dat means i am gonna likely end up with a very plain looking one in the future? hahaha
...and no, i do not choose people by looks neither.
but i have noticed that internal beauty is linked to what is shown on the outside. i befriend kind people, and to me, they are all pretty
but i have noticed that internal beauty is linked to what is shown on the outside. i befriend kind people, and to me, they are all pretty
Manolito: ...and no, i do not choose people by looks neither.
but i have noticed that internal beauty is linked to what is shown on the outside. i befriend kind people, and to me, they are all pretty
but i have noticed that internal beauty is linked to what is shown on the outside. i befriend kind people, and to me, they are all pretty
Yes, internal beauty is the most important part! I dont care what a person LOOKS like, its how they are that counts.
I don't think I've ever had a friend that looked remotely like me.
And the only 2 guys I ever went out with were quazimodo ugly. Never felt good about that until just now. Thanks Mano
And the only 2 guys I ever went out with were quazimodo ugly. Never felt good about that until just now. Thanks Mano
breezee: I don't think I've ever had a friend that looked remotely like me.
And the only 2 guys I ever went out with were quazimodo ugly. Never felt good about that until just now. Thanks Mano
And the only 2 guys I ever went out with were quazimodo ugly. Never felt good about that until just now. Thanks Mano
smoky: Yes, internal beauty is the most important part! I don't care what a person LOOKS like, its how they are that counts.
I beg to differ. Don't say I am negative. I am not. I try hard to be positive. It doesn't happen the way you describe it. And I am speaking from experience. Not one isolated instance, but regular occurrence. Most people do not like gentle, kind characters. They have the perception that such characters are fictitious, make-believe and unrealistic. Or worse, they think such people have hidden agendas. I have had this told to me directly and hinted at too. The result? They avoid you like the plague. Sorry to put a damper on your fine thoughts. I didn't mean to, but I cannot stand hearing such cliches any longer when I know the truth, my truth at least, to be different. Love you all
Lionheart1211: I beg to differ. Don't say I am negative. I am not. I try hard to be positive. It doesn't happen the way you describe it. And I am speaking from experience. Not one isolated instance, but regular occurrence. Most people do not like gentle, kind characters. They have the perception that such characters are fictitious, make-believe and unrealistic. Or worse, they think such people have hidden agendas. I have had this told to me directly and hinted at too. The result? They avoid you like the plague. Sorry to put a damper on your fine thoughts. I didn't mean to, but I cannot stand hearing such cliches any longer when I know the truth, my truth at least, to be different. Love you all
So you don't like gentle, kind characters either, I'm assuming...
Kindness is the only thing that has ever made me 'fall in love'.
I had a very kind father growing up and frankly, I don't understand anything else, let alone want it.
There are people like me scattered all over the place. They just stay in their houses because often this world is not to their taste.... possibly you have only come across a certain 'type' of female.
breezee: So you don't like gentle, kind characters either, I'm assuming...
Kindness is the only thing that has ever made me 'fall in love'.
I had a very kind father growing up and frankly, I don't understand anything else, let alone want it.
There are people like me scattered all over the place. They just stay in their houses because often this world is not to their taste.... possibly you have only come across a certain 'type' of female.
Apologies if I gave wrong impression. On the contrary, I like the gentle, kind characters. I can relate to your childhood experience. My mother was a very kind woman and like you that is how I was brought up. But in today's world kindness doesn't cut any ice. In contrast to what you state, kindness has been a handicap when it came to falling in love. People just think you are a wimp, false. They think you are 'sweet', but not real. That has been my experience.Kindness is the only thing that has ever made me 'fall in love'.
I had a very kind father growing up and frankly, I don't understand anything else, let alone want it.
There are people like me scattered all over the place. They just stay in their houses because often this world is not to their taste.... possibly you have only come across a certain 'type' of female.
Lionheart1211: Apologies if I gave wrong impression. On the contrary, I like the gentle, kind characters. I can relate to your childhood experience. My mother was a very kind woman and like you that is how I was brought up. But in today's world kindness doesn't cut any ice. In contrast to what you state, kindness has been a handicap when it came to falling in love. People just think you are a wimp, false. They think you are 'sweet', but not real. That has been my experience.
I believe I'm a kind and gentle person but I agree there are situations where one may be seen as "weak" - more so in the workplace, particularly if you hold a management position.
My kindness and patience has been seriously abused by one man in the recent past. He used my loving nature to exert his obsessive jealous nature to the extreme, knowing that I would accept/forgive. Unfortunately he didn't realise that I would only accept this for so long so he burnt his bridges and I know he regrets this but cannot change his personality. By the way, he was also the kindest man I've ever met in some ways and not physically attractive in the traditional sense.
Inherent kindness is something that we learn in time about people. New relationships are not usually formed on the basis that somebody is a kind person, we don't really know the true nature of another initially, they are formed first on physical attraction and grow in a positive way when we learn this person also has qualities, such as kindness for example, that we are naturally attracted to.
As for platonic friendships, I don't believe we choose our friends based on their appearance at all and my best female friend and I are like chalk and cheese in many ways, appearance included.
shianne: Some people wil disagree of course but i start to think when I look at general websites like facebook and in general that people seem to be atracted to people who are similar in looks to them.
For example many atractive people have atractive freinds. Many slim people have freinds which are similar. Yes i know not all ! but lots of people do. Is this think that is psychological? I hope this is clear and want to know what people here think about this please.
For example many atractive people have atractive freinds. Many slim people have freinds which are similar. Yes i know not all ! but lots of people do. Is this think that is psychological? I hope this is clear and want to know what people here think about this please.
Nope,it's usually by the qualities I perceive in those persons.
What's the use of Beauty when the person is so shallow,they can't gather a single serious thought.
Jan1305: I believe I'm a kind and gentle person but I agree there are situations where one may be seen as "weak" - more so in the workplace, particularly if you hold a management position.
My kindness and patience has been seriously abused by one man in the recent past. He used my loving nature to exert his obsessive jealous nature to the extreme, knowing that I would accept/forgive. Unfortunately he didn't realise that I would only accept this for so long so he burnt his bridges and I know he regrets this but cannot change his personality. By the way, he was also the kindest man I've ever met in some ways and not physically attractive in the traditional sense.
Inherent kindness is something that we learn in time about people. New relationships are not usually formed on the basis that somebody is a kind person, we don't really know the true nature of another initially, they are formed first on physical attraction and grow in a positive way when we learn this person also has qualities, such as kindness for example, that we are naturally attracted to.
As for platonic friendships, I don't believe we choose our friends based on their appearance at all and my best female friend and I are like chalk and cheese in many ways, appearance included.
Hi Jan. What you say is spot on. You cannot find out about a person's inherent qualities unless you get to know them. However, as you rightly point out, unless you have the physical appearance that attracts the other party there is no way that you are going to be given a chance and therefore you remain undiscovered as it were. So, yes, external appearance can be a barrier to forming lasting and rewarding relationships. This topic always brings to mind the tragic story of the Phantom of the Opera.My kindness and patience has been seriously abused by one man in the recent past. He used my loving nature to exert his obsessive jealous nature to the extreme, knowing that I would accept/forgive. Unfortunately he didn't realise that I would only accept this for so long so he burnt his bridges and I know he regrets this but cannot change his personality. By the way, he was also the kindest man I've ever met in some ways and not physically attractive in the traditional sense.
Inherent kindness is something that we learn in time about people. New relationships are not usually formed on the basis that somebody is a kind person, we don't really know the true nature of another initially, they are formed first on physical attraction and grow in a positive way when we learn this person also has qualities, such as kindness for example, that we are naturally attracted to.
As for platonic friendships, I don't believe we choose our friends based on their appearance at all and my best female friend and I are like chalk and cheese in many ways, appearance included.
Lionheart1211: Hi Jan. What you say is spot on. You cannot find out about a person's inherent qualities unless you get to know them. However, as you rightly point out, unless you have the physical appearance that attracts the other party there is no way that you are going to be given a chance and therefore you remain undiscovered as it were. So, yes, external appearance can be a barrier to forming lasting and rewarding relationships. This topic always brings to mind the tragic story of the Phantom of the Opera.
Yes, it also brings to mind the story of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.....
Go back a few posts and you may notice that I've been Esmeralda TWICE!!
This is generalising....
Of course there are people who fall in love with kindness as opposed to physical attraction.....
breezee: Yes, it also brings to mind the story of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.....
Go back a few posts and you may notice that I've been Esmeralda TWICE!!
This is generalising....
Of course there are people who fall in love with kindness as opposed to physical attraction.....
Go back a few posts and you may notice that I've been Esmeralda TWICE!!
This is generalising....
Of course there are people who fall in love with kindness as opposed to physical attraction.....
---no
Lionheart1211: I beg to differ. Don't say I am negative. I am not. I try hard to be positive. It doesn't happen the way you describe it. And I am speaking from experience. Not one isolated instance, but regular occurrence. Most people do not like gentle, kind characters. They have the perception that such characters are fictitious, make-believe and unrealistic. Or worse, they think such people have hidden agendas. I have had this told to me directly and hinted at too. The result? They avoid you like the plague. Sorry to put a damper on your fine thoughts. I didn't mean to, but I cannot stand hearing such cliches any longer when I know the truth, my truth at least, to be different. Love you all
Okay, so you disagree. I just stated what attracts ME to a person. I dont care what a person looks like ... its more the aura they give off, or a mysterious "something"..... Physical appearance has no meaning for me, its what the person is like, how they convey their thoughts, their moods, their disposition towards others, and how they relate to their surroundings, their empathy for others, their hygiene standards, their attitude to life.
You certainly do not put a damper on any "fine thoughts" of mine - my thoughts and feelings are mine, after all, and have nothing to do with how others perceive life.
For me it has to be a combination of both beauty and character, without one or the other i'd not look romantically on the woman.....
Guess you stepped on a dew ducks in heaven then.
Lionheart1211: Apologies if I gave wrong impression. On the contrary, I like the gentle, kind characters. I can relate to your childhood experience. My mother was a very kind woman and like you that is how I was brought up. But in today's world kindness doesn't cut any ice. In contrast to what you state, kindness has been a handicap when it came to falling in love. People just think you are a wimp, false. They think you are 'sweet', but not real. That has been my experience.
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For example many atractive people have atractive freinds. Many slim people have freinds which are similar. Yes i know not all ! but lots of people do. Is this think that is psychological? I hope this is clear and want to know what people here think about this please.