Why is it that good men finsh last?? (179)
Zellarrone1Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, England UK33 Threads 4 Polls 7,644 PostsPortiea: The men who continually whine about women not wanting a 'good man' are men who have no personality...they treat women like a 'queen.'
You are right there 
I've seen more personality in a "wrung out" dishcloth than in whining men. I can't be doing with being fawned over and treated like a queen either 
I'll allow them to do a bit of 
to me but only when I'm in the mood for it 
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Zellarrone1: You are right there I've seen more personality in a "wrung out" dishcloth than in whining men. I can't be doing with being fawned over and treated like a queen either I'll allow them to do a bit of to me but only when I'm in the mood for it
Nobody likes a door mat...simple...
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friendsfirst: Hi Joanne.
helloooooooooooooo
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Portiea: Maybe you think that attracting, having, and keeping a woman means you subject your personality to hers? I don't know. But I'll tell you one thing, a man who constantly goes around whining that women don't want good men is not very attractive.
I find this a lot... Men are so focused on getting the girl and then end up being TOO focused on her. They start to mold into this person that they think she wants them to be. They end up being dependent and losing their own identity and personality. It's quite unattractive. JMO.
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First Alan it's NOT the fact that a guy is "nice" that makes him unattractive to women. Being nice is a great personality trait and there's nothing wrong with being a nice person. So many men are under the impression that they were "too nice" and that's why they got stomped on and stepped over. Wrong !
The first and most crucial mistake a guy can make is to lie to himself about the REAL reason that woman got scared off. Most of the time he is just too needy and attempts to build his entire existence and happiness around being with her. Alan this is TOO MUCH pressure and feels suffocating. Men don't like overly needy women and women don't like overly needy men. Do NOT build your life around her or anyone else, for that matter. Have your own interests and activities. Build a happy and healthy life for yourself so that when you do find a good woman she compliments the good life you already have rather than creates or completes your life. Every good and quality relationship includes time away from each other and room for each person to be an individual as well as part of a couple.
Another mistake so many nice guys make is to devote all of their time into doing things for other people to the point where they aren't taking care of themselves. Learn to say no when you need or want to say it. It's okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of doing things for others that they could do for themselves. If you don't take care of yourself first you won't be worth a damn to anyone else. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.
Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you MUST love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many "nice guys" mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on and idolizes her that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These are what I like to call "Unrealistic Expectations". More often than not, these kinds of expectations go unmet and lead to pain, frustration and sometimes anger. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentments. This isn't healthy behavior and what it boils down to is a heavy dose of self inflicted suffering. Never set yourself up for this kind of disappointment. Treat yourself better than this.
Finally...if a man spends all of his time catering to the whims of others, how can he find the time to have a full and rich life? He can't, and his life is spent helping others to make their lives more interesting while his life becomes more and more dull and boring. He has little energy left for his own adventures and excitement and his love life suffers as a result. Women don't like boredom and stagnation.
The first and most crucial mistake a guy can make is to lie to himself about the REAL reason that woman got scared off. Most of the time he is just too needy and attempts to build his entire existence and happiness around being with her. Alan this is TOO MUCH pressure and feels suffocating. Men don't like overly needy women and women don't like overly needy men. Do NOT build your life around her or anyone else, for that matter. Have your own interests and activities. Build a happy and healthy life for yourself so that when you do find a good woman she compliments the good life you already have rather than creates or completes your life. Every good and quality relationship includes time away from each other and room for each person to be an individual as well as part of a couple.
Another mistake so many nice guys make is to devote all of their time into doing things for other people to the point where they aren't taking care of themselves. Learn to say no when you need or want to say it. It's okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of doing things for others that they could do for themselves. If you don't take care of yourself first you won't be worth a damn to anyone else. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.
Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you MUST love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many "nice guys" mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on and idolizes her that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These are what I like to call "Unrealistic Expectations". More often than not, these kinds of expectations go unmet and lead to pain, frustration and sometimes anger. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentments. This isn't healthy behavior and what it boils down to is a heavy dose of self inflicted suffering. Never set yourself up for this kind of disappointment. Treat yourself better than this.
Finally...if a man spends all of his time catering to the whims of others, how can he find the time to have a full and rich life? He can't, and his life is spent helping others to make their lives more interesting while his life becomes more and more dull and boring. He has little energy left for his own adventures and excitement and his love life suffers as a result. Women don't like boredom and stagnation.
Alan_50501: I can not for the life of me understand why. You take a man that treats a woman like a lady or queen eventhough you may not have a lot to offer you still make them feal that way just for them to leave you. Now you take a man that is physical or mentaly abusive to a woman and they wont leave them for the world. I have always treated them the best that I can and the way that I wanted to be treated and they leave. Can someone please explain this to me
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horselady5: First Alan it's NOT the fact that a guy is "nice" that makes him unattractive to women. Being nice is a great personality trait and there's nothing wrong with being a nice person. So many men are under the impression that they were "too nice" and that's why they got stomped on and stepped over. Wrong ! The first and most crucial mistake a guy can make is to lie to himself about the REAL reason that woman got scared off. Most of the time he is just too needy and attempts to build his entire existence and happiness around being with her. Alan this is TOO MUCH pressure and feels suffocating. Men don't like overly needy women and women don't like overly needy men. Do NOT build your life around her or anyone else, for that matter. Have your own interests and activities. Build a happy and healthy life for yourself so that when you do find a good woman she compliments the good life you already have rather than creates or completes your life. Every good and quality relationship includes time away from each other and room for each person to be an individual as well as part of a couple.
Another mistake so many nice guys make is to devote all of their time into doing things for other people to the point where they aren't taking care of themselves. Learn to say no when you need or want to say it. It's okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of doing things for others that they could do for themselves. If you don't take care of yourself first you won't be worth a damn to anyone else. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.
Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you MUST love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many "nice guys" mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on and idolizes her that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These are what I like to call "Unrealistic Expectations". More often than not, these kinds of expectations go unmet and lead to pain, frustration and sometimes anger. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentments. This isn't healthy behavior and what it boils down to is a heavy dose of self inflicted suffering. Never set yourself up for this kind of disappointment. Treat yourself better than this.
Finally...if a man spends all of his time catering to the whims of others, how can he find the time to have a full and rich life? He can't, and his life is spent helping others to make their lives more interesting while his life becomes more and more dull and boring. He has little energy left for his own adventures and excitement and his love life suffers as a result. Women don't like boredom and stagnation.
Another mistake so many nice guys make is to devote all of their time into doing things for other people to the point where they aren't taking care of themselves. Learn to say no when you need or want to say it. It's okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of doing things for others that they could do for themselves. If you don't take care of yourself first you won't be worth a damn to anyone else. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.
Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you MUST love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many "nice guys" mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on and idolizes her that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These are what I like to call "Unrealistic Expectations". More often than not, these kinds of expectations go unmet and lead to pain, frustration and sometimes anger. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentments. This isn't healthy behavior and what it boils down to is a heavy dose of self inflicted suffering. Never set yourself up for this kind of disappointment. Treat yourself better than this.
Finally...if a man spends all of his time catering to the whims of others, how can he find the time to have a full and rich life? He can't, and his life is spent helping others to make their lives more interesting while his life becomes more and more dull and boring. He has little energy left for his own adventures and excitement and his love life suffers as a result. Women don't like boredom and stagnation.
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Portiea: There are variables....oftentimes men who claim to be good guys, who actually believe they are good guys, are not...they may not be obviously aggressive, but they are passive aggressive, etc. These men are not flawless...and their idea of a 'good guy' is very subjective and often extremely self-serving.
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horselady5: First Alan it's NOT the fact that a guy is "nice" that makes him unattractive to women. Being nice is a great personality trait and there's nothing wrong with being a nice person. So many men are under the impression that they were "too nice" and that's why they got stomped on and stepped over. Wrong ! The first and most crucial mistake a guy can make is to lie to himself about the REAL reason that woman got scared off. Most of the time he is just too needy and attempts to build his entire existence and happiness around being with her. Alan this is TOO MUCH pressure and feels suffocating. Men don't like overly needy women and women don't like overly needy men. Do NOT build your life around her or anyone else, for that matter. Have your own interests and activities. Build a happy and healthy life for yourself so that when you do find a good woman she compliments the good life you already have rather than creates or completes your life. Every good and quality relationship includes time away from each other and room for each person to be an individual as well as part of a couple.
Another mistake so many nice guys make is to devote all of their time into doing things for other people to the point where they aren't taking care of themselves. Learn to say no when you need or want to say it. It's okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of doing things for others that they could do for themselves. If you don't take care of yourself first you won't be worth a damn to anyone else. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.
Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you MUST love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many "nice guys" mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on and idolizes her that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These are what I like to call "Unrealistic Expectations". More often than not, these kinds of expectations go unmet and lead to pain, frustration and sometimes anger. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentments. This isn't healthy behavior and what it boils down to is a heavy dose of self inflicted suffering. Never set yourself up for this kind of disappointment. Treat yourself better than this.
Finally...if a man spends all of his time catering to the whims of others, how can he find the time to have a full and rich life? He can't, and his life is spent helping others to make their lives more interesting while his life becomes more and more dull and boring. He has little energy left for his own adventures and excitement and his love life suffers as a result. Women don't like boredom and stagnation.
Another mistake so many nice guys make is to devote all of their time into doing things for other people to the point where they aren't taking care of themselves. Learn to say no when you need or want to say it. It's okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of doing things for others that they could do for themselves. If you don't take care of yourself first you won't be worth a damn to anyone else. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.
Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you MUST love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many "nice guys" mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on and idolizes her that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These are what I like to call "Unrealistic Expectations". More often than not, these kinds of expectations go unmet and lead to pain, frustration and sometimes anger. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentments. This isn't healthy behavior and what it boils down to is a heavy dose of self inflicted suffering. Never set yourself up for this kind of disappointment. Treat yourself better than this.
Finally...if a man spends all of his time catering to the whims of others, how can he find the time to have a full and rich life? He can't, and his life is spent helping others to make their lives more interesting while his life becomes more and more dull and boring. He has little energy left for his own adventures and excitement and his love life suffers as a result. Women don't like boredom and stagnation.
Nicely said!
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Bump for nice guy!
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Thank you!
DaisyChick: Bump for nice guy!
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RillyNiceGuy: Thank you!
Your welcome!!
I posted that article... I'm hiding!------ This thread is Archived ------
Alan_50501: I can not for the life of me understand why. You take a man that treats a woman like a lady or queen eventhough you may not have a lot to offer you still make them feal that way just for them to leave you. Now you take a man that is physical or mentaly abusive to a woman and they wont leave them for the world. I have always treated them the best that I can and the way that I wanted to be treated and they leave. Can someone please explain this to me
This isn't a one way street you know.... Men seem to prefer B!tches.
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Still looking for the "good man" Or at least one who stays good for the long haul 
My personal opinion...most women like to be treated like you said "like a queen" but sometimes men can take that to extremes which can get very annoying after a while. Most of us women do not like to be put on a pedestal so high that we are in danger of falling off...nor do we like to be treated like china dolls either.
A good happy medium is what I'm looking for...treat me with respect and love and that is what you will get in return
JMO, btw
Or at least one who stays good for the long haul My personal opinion...most women like to be treated like you said "like a queen" but sometimes men can take that to extremes which can get very annoying after a while. Most of us women do not like to be put on a pedestal so high that we are in danger of falling off...nor do we like to be treated like china dolls either.
A good happy medium is what I'm looking for...treat me with respect and love and that is what you will get in return
JMO, btw
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Portiea: I disagree wholeheartedly. Good men do not finish last. This is a misconception. Most of the women I know have good men in their lives, they are their partners or their husbands. They are valued by these women for being good, decent men. However, they are also men of character, will, personality, etc. The men who continually whine about women not wanting a 'good man' are men who have no personality...they treat women like a 'queen.' I don't want to be treated like a queen or a princess. I am a strong, thinking, independent, individual and I want a man who is all those things too. I don't want someone who is weak emotionally or intellectually. I want an equal, a peer. I don't need someone to cater to me or take care of me.
There are some women, mostly younger or older who are immature, who are still attracted to the 'bad boy' thing; but most mature women have gone past that stage. Maybe you are, for some reason, only interested in immature women? Maybe you think that attracting, having, and keeping a woman means you subject your personality to hers? I don't know. But I'll tell you one thing, a man who constantly goes around whining that women don't want good men is not very attractive. I love good, decent men...they are the ONLY kind of men I am interested in.
There are some women, mostly younger or older who are immature, who are still attracted to the 'bad boy' thing; but most mature women have gone past that stage. Maybe you are, for some reason, only interested in immature women? Maybe you think that attracting, having, and keeping a woman means you subject your personality to hers? I don't know. But I'll tell you one thing, a man who constantly goes around whining that women don't want good men is not very attractive. I love good, decent men...they are the ONLY kind of men I am interested in.
Says it all!
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rwantin: I used to wonder the same thing, but have more-or-less abandoned this notion. Experience has taught me that some of this is self-inflicted, and that perhaps we sometimes we don't know what is good, or for that matter, not good, for us.
Sometimes not getting what we want is not necessarily finishing last.
Sometimes not getting what we want is not necessarily finishing last.
Very true, Robert.
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bump!
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Alan_50501: I can not for the life of me understand why. You take a man that treats a woman like a lady or queen eventhough you may not have a lot to offer you still make them feal that way just for them to leave you. Now you take a man that is physical or mentaly abusive to a woman and they wont leave them for the world. I have always treated them the best that I can and the way that I wanted to be treated and they leave. Can someone please explain this to me
They don't... it just seems like it cause they don't get to enjoy the short term (but empty) hits of gratification that the bad boys get... nice guys are more likely to find a long term happy relationship and a secure family life based on the things that matter such as love and commitment...
Hang in there!!
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Aries01: They don't... it just seems like it cause they don't get to enjoy the short term (but empty) hits of gratification that the bad boys get... nice guys are more likely to find a long term happy relationship and a secure family life based on the things that matter such as love and commitment...
Hang in there!!
Hang in there!!
Absolutely agree...well said...
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moonfoxinthesnow: This isn't a one way street you know.... Men seem to prefer B!tches.
Excellent point! Have seen this over and over again....------ This thread is Archived ------
Alan_50501: Can someone please explain this to me
You're picking the wrong women.
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