I have a dilema... (82)
I've just recently been in a similar situation.I datyed a guy for a year and a half.Then he tells me he never wants to get married again.He knew from the get go that I wanted to get married someday.It really hurt me to have been strung along.Then 4 months later he calls and says he's changed his mind.So we did go out again but my feelings weren't the same.He was ready to sell his boat to give me the wedding I wanted.It was really hard but I had to let him go because I just didn't feel the same anymore.
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well i have an idea matey stop talking about the dilema stop taking the piss out of her and talk to her i think the word is honesty... also matey i think you seem to take a bit too much this girl is obviously generous and kind her personality is giving so well matey she too good for u plenty of others would love to be spoilt. so whats the problem no dilema as i see it.
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uk_man_31: ok Ive been seeing this lady for what 6 weeks, she has fallen in love with me and I havent with her... Shes always buying me stuff I have asked her to stop... Now the thing is I have to chill this out a bit or finish it and I dont know what to do or how to do it any ideas...
OK what's wrong with this picture? man finds woman. woman showers him with gifts, and we all know what else. maybe she is not attractive to you? maybe you jumped the gun? maybe you should take caution next time, to really know if the woman is for you. sad part about dating, is we find it so easy to MOVE ON, when everything is going SO RIGHT.
but here is the killer question.
COULD IT BE YOU SAW SOMEONE ELSE, THAT STIRRED UP YOUR CURIOSITY? hhhhmmmmm the plot thickens! JMO
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An opposing view
6 weeks to fall in love? 12 weeks to fall in love, 6 months, 12 months?
question is is the thrill gone for you with this woman, or is it simply the "gift giving" trait she has that brings about your decision to chill or end it.
I can think of other characteristic of a woman that are annoying
but if it a matter of the thrill /attraction is gone cut her loose.
6 weeks to fall in love? 12 weeks to fall in love, 6 months, 12 months?
question is is the thrill gone for you with this woman, or is it simply the "gift giving" trait she has that brings about your decision to chill or end it.
I can think of other characteristic of a woman that are annoying
but if it a matter of the thrill /attraction is gone cut her loose.
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possible remedy ,everything she gives you ask for the receipt then return it. Or give it away to someone else in her presence.... harsh but effective.
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chrissy87: I've just recently been in a similar situation.I datyed a guy for a year and a half.Then he tells me he never wants to get married again.He knew from the get go that I wanted to get married someday.It really hurt me to have been strung along.Then 4 months later he calls and says he's changed his mind.So we did go out again but my feelings weren't the same.He was ready to sell his boat to give me the wedding I wanted.It was really hard but I had to let him go because I just didn't feel the same anymore.
I have a similar situation at the moment. I know exactly what you mean.
Now he wants it all.. and I don't feel the same way any more.
Bit bloody late now! ..
We have remained good friends all along.. (after a bumpy start).. but it's been a few years now .. and we still get on brilliantly... I stay there when I am near his place and him here etc..
I just don't see him like 'that' any more... and I'm very doubtful I ever would again. We still talk on the phone/text/emails .. send BDay cards etc..
But the trust I had in him.. and 'Free-ness' of it all has gone for me.
I see him differently now really.. he bores me in the relationship department. 
He keeps saying we will get engaged next May at a festival thing here..
and makes lots of little jokes here and there about it.. like 'Oh well we will be married by then' (yeah.. I think NOT)I said.. 'People should marry for LOVE.. not because they can't find anyone else' .. he said 'But you know.. I've always told you.. I think about you all the time'.. I said.. 'Yeah.. that's called boredom' ...
I know I don't feel the same way for him any more.. because I don't care where he is or what he is doing.. (like I used to) .. If I text/mail/call him .. and he doesn't reply for a a few days.. I completely forget about it.. and never wonder why he hasn't. Sometimes.. I can't be arsed to reply to him.. so I don't.. So I know it's not there any more.. not more than friends anyway. It's not in me to give 100% any more.
Though .. that said.. he is meant to be coming this weekend for a Festy.. and he is a beautiful kisser.
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Oo.. how did I end up with the snorey faces?... 
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Claayer: Oo.. how did I end up with the snorey faces?...
Claire I love you, saying that I'm going to keep my advice to you about this to myself 
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sxc666: Claire I love you, saying that I'm going to keep my advice to you about this to myself
hahaha
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mrsmiles4444: Can it be, that being he feels this way, he may be giving her the signals of not being happy already? It is quite easy to let someone know when you are not enjoying your time together, is it not?
yes be honest, but first be honest with yourself. are you leading her on? are you being real when in her presence?
Inquiring minds want to know.
yes be honest, but first be honest with yourself. are you leading her on? are you being real when in her presence?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Yes true, but you know the old adage, people only see what they want to see, some people need words , after all you cant do anothers thinking for them , you can be very wrong !!
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mastic55: Before you break it off try to get a set of spinning rims....
You should be honest and tell her the truth
btw you also should offer to return the things she has bought for you
as it will help her not to think in her mind that she was a fool for buying you things
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livinglarge: Yes true, but you know the old adage, people only see what they want to see, some people need words , after all you cant do anothers thinking for them , you can be very wrong !!
can't say I agree with you there, as for people only seeing what they want to see. if he continues to spend time with her when she wants. is he not sending the wrong signal? has he turned her down to be with her, or is he really enjoying his time with her, and gifts?
Or even maybe even the love making?
things that make you go hhmmmmmmm!
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mrsmiles4444: can't say I agree with you there, as for people only seeing what they want to see. if he continues to spend time with her when she wants. is he not sending the wrong signal? has he turned her down to be with her, or is he really enjoying his time with her, and gifts?
Or even maybe even the love making?
things that make you go hhmmmmmmm!
Or even maybe even the love making?
things that make you go hhmmmmmmm!
Thats why it would be better to finish it. I think I said that though. Obviously he is not enjoying the relationship
Thats a no brainer , by what he has said , IMO.------ This thread is Archived ------
livinglarge: Thats why it would be better to finish it. I think I said that though. Obviously he is not enjoying the relationship Thats a no brainer , by what he has said , IMO.
do see how you could make a decison that he is not happy, yet for him to come out and ask for advice on a BREAKUP? seems a bit odd to me. I do know we are all different, yet don't paint a picture with watercolor, because first sign of rain it will ALL wash out, and your true colors revealed.
if he is not happy...well damit, there is just ONE thing to do. but if you are asking what you should do, maybe you really are not unhappy...... that is all I am saying. jmo
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mrsmiles4444: do see how you could make a decison that he is not happy, yet for him to come out and ask for advice on a BREAKUP? seems a bit odd to me. I do know we are all different, yet don't paint a picture with watercolor, because first sign of rain it will ALL wash out, and your true colors revealed.
if he is not happy...well damit, there is just ONE thing to do. but if you are asking what you should do, maybe you really are not unhappy...... that is all I am saying. jmo
if he is not happy...well damit, there is just ONE thing to do. but if you are asking what you should do, maybe you really are not unhappy...... that is all I am saying. jmo
Yeah grand!! I am not debating today
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livinglarge: Yeah grand!! I am not debating today
ditto!
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mrsmiles4444: ditto!
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walk away but keep the door open if you want to return------ This thread is Archived ------
fireliter: An opposing view
6 weeks to fall in love? 12 weeks to fall in love, 6 months, 12 months?
question is is the thrill gone for you with this woman, or is it simply the "gift giving" trait she has that brings about your decision to chill or end it.
I can think of other characteristic of a woman that are annoying
but if it a matter of the thrill /attraction is gone cut her loose.
6 weeks to fall in love? 12 weeks to fall in love, 6 months, 12 months?
question is is the thrill gone for you with this woman, or is it simply the "gift giving" trait she has that brings about your decision to chill or end it.
I can think of other characteristic of a woman that are annoying
but if it a matter of the thrill /attraction is gone cut her loose.
Well at last someone seeing things from my perspective! why is it her falling in love or the gifts that is sooooo bad?
has she actually said she loves you? and what did you reply? because that would have been a good coversation to have then :]
I think firelighter is right you just don't want the committment anymore or don't fancy her???
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Well its seems to me you are a little confused...
Becos you said chill this thing out a bit or finish it...
Do you enjoy her company???
Do you like to do things only as a friend???
Its sounds to me you are not really sure urself...
Be honest with urself then you can be honest with her...
All the best in the decision you make