Little Confessions .. today and everyday ... ( Archived) (221)

I know I did the right thing but it´s still eating away at me..... Over the last few days I had to deal with a situation that many pet owners have to deal with... the decision to put a loved companion down.

My best friend had an amazing Alaskan Malamute dog.... I was Fonzi´s "second mom" ... he helped me get through my first no family Christmas last year... him and 2 little feral cats that were hanging out...

He was diagnosed with an infected prostate and was quite Ill, we had gotten him into the vets and they had doused him up with antibiotics and sent him home... several hours later my friend called and said that Fonzi had experienced a fit and that she couldn´t get him up... he was comatose. I went over and we managed to get him into the back of the car...he weighs 78 kilos... and back into the vets office.... on the way there he suffered 2 more fits.

The vet said that the infection had spread and was now in his central nervous system and put him on an IV to sedate him and control the fits as well as administer large doses of antibiotics. We went to check on him the next day and his white blood cell count had gone up even higher and he was semi comatose... we decided then that it was time to end it...only to find out that we would have to deal with the remains ourselves and our only options were to put him in the bin or take him home and bury him.

The bin was not an option and there was no way we could bury him on our own and it was almost night time. The vet agreed to keep him sedated until morning when we could make arrangements to dig the grave and said that he would probably pass through the night under sedation. I said my goodbyes to him and left Kate to say hers.

We arrived back in the morning and Fonzi was still hanging on... Kate couldn´t bear to go through the good bye again so i went in to hold him while they administered the final shots. I was cradling his head in my lap and talking to him when he began to wake up, he was alert for a few moments and I thought maybe...

The vet explained that even if he managed to beat the infection there was a strong chance that he had suffered brain damage and so I made the decision without Kate to continue the process of ending his life.

It was so awful... the shunt they had been using to administer the antibiotics had come loose and when they started to inject the final sedative it didn´t go into the vein causing Fonzi horrible pain... he jerked and let out a cry and I sat soothing him and talking to him and crying until they were able to replace it and finish the injection.

I didn´t tell Kate any of this, I just said that they were checking final bloodwork before they gave him the injection... I´ve never lied to Katie about anything... but I didn´t see the point in both of us going through the pain of Fonzi´s final moments.

I confess....

I was on here so late last night, I played hookey today from work. Told 'em I was sick... now I don't feel so well.....

No, Katie is my best friend... like my sister.