Ramblings of a Retired Mind ( Archived) (12)

Aug 17, 2008 12:51 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

yay
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Aug 17, 2008 1:08 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
tipaly81
tipaly81tipaly81Moscow, Idaho USA56 Threads 15 Polls 950 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing For you, he just might grade on a curve. tongue
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Aug 17, 2008 1:13 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
Don216
Don216Don216Cocoa, Florida USA1 Threads 463 Posts
TheresMyFriend: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.


A+

cheers

thumbs up
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Aug 17, 2008 1:15 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
tipaly81: For you, he just might grade on a curve.


Thanks...the "curve" might be my best chance...keeping fingers crossed!
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Aug 17, 2008 1:17 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
Thanks Don!cheers
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Aug 17, 2008 1:35 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
mastic55
mastic55mastic55Long Island, New York USA167 Threads 6,859 Posts
That is really good stuff.thumbs up
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Aug 17, 2008 2:56 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
arabella
arabellaarabellaNear Farmington, Maine USA98 Threads 1 Polls 6,199 Posts
TheresMyFriend: You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.


That one's mine sigh rolling on the floor laughing
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Aug 17, 2008 3:04 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
An excellent commentary my friend.Did you get any or all from someone or is it your creativity?Either way,enjoyable post.
Thanks.handshake














lips
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Aug 17, 2008 3:33 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
cherokeemoon2
cherokeemoon2cherokeemoon2grove, Oklahoma USA15 Threads 545 Posts
TheresMyFriend: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
Its aways funnier when u can relate to the subject.rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Aug 17, 2008 10:49 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
mastic55: That is really good stuff.


Thanks!
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Aug 17, 2008 10:51 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
nomindgames: An excellent commentary my friend.Did you get any or all from someone or is it your creativity?Either way,enjoyable post.
Thanks.


No...I can't take responsibility for this piece of work...as much as I'd like too! I can truly relate!
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Aug 17, 2008 10:53 PM CST Ramblings of a Retired Mind
cherokeemoon2: Its aways funnier when u can relate to the subject.


That's very true! Been there, done that!
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