It the reason that men often let the woman make the first move because of fear of rejection? (87)
thewall2montreal, Quebec Canada61 Threads 10,499 PostsI was a PART time BOUNCER,I'm not used to making the first move.
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kitty01: no I do not find it natural to say I love you, even to my kids, they are always saying I never tell them. I was never brought up like that, no one ever said it me so I do not remember to say it to them.
My mom would always say she wished I was never born, or why did I let your dad talk me into having a child.
My mom would always say she wished I was never born, or why did I let your dad talk me into having a child.
Kitty you are soooo very fortunate that your children tell you that they wished you would tell them that you loved them.
I am sure you do love them.
Force yourself to say to them that you really do love them.
You don't want them to pass this further on to their kids do you?
So it is up to you to stop it and stop it now Kitty.
Start by leaving them a note where you tell them you love them.
I guarantee you will be very happy and surprised at their reaction.
I was not brought up with hugs and kisses either nor do I ever recall it was said to me that anyone loved me.
My mother would let me know I was not her favorite and told me one time, "you irritate me" Yeah so I noticed mom!
I found out later that I was not her first born but her second, she was forced by my dad, who would otherwise not have married her, to give that child up.
So later I did understand but often by then the damage is done.
I am grateful I did not pass things on but am very able to say how I feel.
Please for your kids and your grandbabies tell them or write okay?
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kitty01: I feel the same way, I do not like rejection, but then who is to make the first move if both are scared. I think that is why I have never told anyone I love them, I made the mistake when I was 17, said it to my boyfriend and he freaked, said why are you saying that, I have never told you I love you, have I. Never again.
heck....not even talking about saying I love you to anyone. That will never happen. I'll never allow myself to be put in that position. I was just talking about initiating contact!!...lol
You mentioned being scared....not me. Just don't want the hassles
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Four reasons come to mind not to approach a woman...
1) Possibility of rejection.
2) Have reason to believe she is not interested.
3) Not THAT interested.
4) Am DIS-interested.
Being approached by the woman may override all but number four.
1) Possibility of rejection.
2) Have reason to believe she is not interested.
3) Not THAT interested.
4) Am DIS-interested.
Being approached by the woman may override all but number four.
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Ocee35: Four reasons come to mind not to approach a woman...
1) Possibility of rejection.
2) Have reason to believe she is not interested.
3) Not THAT interested.
4) Am DIS-interested.Being approached by the woman may override all but number four.
1) Possibility of rejection.
2) Have reason to believe she is not interested.
3) Not THAT interested.
4) Am DIS-interested.Being approached by the woman may override all but number four.
Dutch saying; There is not a pot sooo crooked that we can not find a lid to fit it.
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hollandgirl: Dutch saying; There is not a pot sooo crooked that we can not find a lid to fit it.
......
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...and the result of all those fears of rejections is 
How many of you do play lottery each week??????? Ok, we risk our money with the hope to win....do you follow that far
Now, once we took that risk, we can win a bit or a lot or loose what we risked, but.....if you do not risk, you never will know if you were right and found your dream come true...be it love or money
Same happens when you drive your car....you never do know for sure if you come out alive again....we all hope and pray so, but.....is that granted?????
If you don t risk....impossible to win, so mark my words and go for this girl or boy you can t stop thinking about....at least you might win a friend
How many of you do play lottery each week??????? Ok, we risk our money with the hope to win....do you follow that far
Now, once we took that risk, we can win a bit or a lot or loose what we risked, but.....if you do not risk, you never will know if you were right and found your dream come true...be it love or money
Same happens when you drive your car....you never do know for sure if you come out alive again....we all hope and pray so, but.....is that granted?????
If you don t risk....impossible to win, so mark my words and go for this girl or boy you can t stop thinking about....at least you might win a friend
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spending a dollar on a lottery ticket is a lot different than putting your feelings at someone elses disposal. The comparison isn't even close
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hollandgirl: Dutch saying; There is not a pot sooo crooked that we can not find a lid to fit it.
Oh dear thats as bad as 'theres someone for everyone' nonsense.
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I don't even consider it rejection, if the person doesn't even know me, why do I care if they respond or not? Even if we've gone out, and I never hear from them again, it's not a rejection of me personally, it's just not a fit. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me, just that it's wrong for us. My feelings are just that, mine. They're no one else's responsibility, I decide if I want to feel bad or good. I can decide to feel bad, it's not their fault. When I'm over it, I can decide to feel good again. But I never feel bad about myself, not anymore. 
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vonney: Oh dear thats as bad as 'theres someone for everyone' nonsense.
You know,...I'm starting to like you!! Glad you live so far away!!
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shipoker58: You know,...I'm starting to like you!! Glad you live so far away!!
Only starting Ship???
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kitty01: I feel the same way, I do not like rejection, but then who is to make the first move if both are scared. I think that is why I have never told anyone I love them, I made the mistake when I was 17, said it to my boyfriend and he freaked, said why are you saying that, I have never told you I love you, have I. Never again.
I feel sad for you.
There is a song that always comes to mind when I want to say 'I love you'.
I don't quite remember the name of it but is sung by Lou Rawles. The only part I remember is "Nothing says I love you like "I Love you".
You are such a pretty lady. Your friend just could not deal with the situation at the time. I remember my first relationship around that age. I woke up one day and was really afraid that I would/may be spending the rest of my life with my then girlfriend. It freaked me out.
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alabamabebe: I don't even consider it rejection, if the person doesn't even know me, why do I care if they respond or not? Even if we've gone out, and I never hear from them again, it's not a rejection of me personally, it's just not a fit. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me, just that it's wrong for us. My feelings are just that, mine. They're no one else's responsibility, I decide if I want to feel bad or good. I can decide to feel bad, it's not their fault. When I'm over it, I can decide to feel good again. But I never feel bad about myself, not anymore.
Sis that is a very good way of looking at it, food for thoughts for sure.
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yes it is
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I think it is.
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and, refusal to deal with mood swings
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i'de like to think i was just being a gentleman 
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I never liked making the first move but have found that men are more afraid of rejection.
Hey had that happen to me too but never blamed the next guy for what the last one did wrong.
I always start over.
Hey had that happen to me too but never blamed the next guy for what the last one did wrong.
I always start over.
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I think after your heart gets stumped on afew times you become gunsky and sometimes place a shield up so you don't get hurt.
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