So there you are at the deli getting a ham sandwich, when that person you're attracted to comes and stands next to you at the counter. You've seen them over and over again, and you finally have the guts to turn and smile at them... and they do nothing in return. They almost look right through you like you don't exist. So you grab your ham sandwich and run out of there as quickly as you can, saying to yourself, "I will never do that again. This doesn't work." Is this the best way to deal with rejection? How do you personally deal with rejection? More importantly, are you someone who believes that if you become "good" at dating you will no longer get rejected? The dating truth is that being able to deal with rejection is the key to being successful at going out and meeting singles. It's also not the ultra-significant event so many make it out to be. So here are five essential tips on how to handle rejection, which you need to embrace if you are going to have a full and successful dating life: 1. Change Your Dating Expectations. One of the first and most important things to understand is that no matter what you do, not everybody is going to respond positively to you. Not everyone you smile at will smile back at you. Not everyone you say hello to is going to say hello back to you. “Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time.” Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time. Just because somebody did not smile back at you does not mean that you're not an attractive person or that you made a mistake by smiling. The only thing it means is that it did not work with that one person. 2. Life Is All About Rejection. Everything in life has rejection involved in it. If you're a salesperson who makes 10 sales calls, you may only get one or two people to say yes. A baseball player whose batting average is around 300 will likely end up in the Hall of Fame. A quarterback who can complete 55 percent of his passes is doing pretty well. Everything in life is about percentages. You don't quit simply because you experienced some rejection. Imagine if you stopped looking for work when your very first interview didn't result in a job offer. That would, of course, be ridiculous. Remember that you also need to keep going in your dating life when you're rejected, because you want to keep increasing your odds of success. 3. Focus on Increasing Your Dating Odds. When you feel like you are getting more than your fair share of rejections, instead of focusing on those rejections, focus on increasing your odds of success. The fact is that by playing the percentages as I mentioned above, you will be successful. “The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say hello, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it.” The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say hello, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it. If you're going to go out there and only talk to one person a day, then your chances of success are not going to be great. Increase your odds every single day and in everything you're doing.
4. Keep Things in Perspective. I hear some version of this from clients all the time: "What if I approach somebody, get rejected, and someone sees me? I'll never be able to go in that store again!" Get a little perspective here. Let me tell you something -- you're not front page news! When you're rejected, you need to just get over it. No one is talking about you. People are concerned about themselves and what is going on in their own lives, just as you are focused on what's going on in yours. So the fact that you get rejected in front of other people at the market, at the gym, or anywhere else is not a big deal to anyone but you. 5. Don't Overreact When Dating. The other thing I commonly hear from clients who have been rejected is some version of this: "I'm never going to talk to that person ever again now that I was rejected by them." This is not only a total overreaction, it is also absolutely the wrong thing to do. So you tried to talk to (or smile or look at) someone, and they didn't respond. As I mentioned above, there are a million possible reasons why that person did not respond to you. It doesn't necessarily mean that person wouldn't want to talk to you another time. If I smile at a woman and she doesn't respond, I don't play hide-and-go-seek the next time I see her. I am equally friendly to her the next time I see her, because you never know what will happen that second time. It's a different day. Put the last time behind you. These are some ways to help you get over rejection. Realize that in order to get good at interacting with potential mates, you are going to get rejected. In fact, you want to get rejected every single day, because if you're not, it means you're not trying. So ask yourself this: Did you get rejected today, and how can you go out tomorrow and make it an even better day than today? Learn to not only handle but to embrace rejection, and you will meet great new people and have an amazing social life.
Well I definitely get the point of the post... and it makes a lot of sense, there is just one big difference between sales, interviews, etc. The rejection is these cases is easily justified and not personal. They don´t need the product... my skills don´t match what they´re looking for...
Personal rejection and physical rejection are a whole lot more difficult to deal with... because it´s not your product or your skills being rejected... It´s you.
I know that not everyone is going to respond in a favorable manner to everyone else and we should be able to be more practical about dealing with rejection... but the fact remains...
So here are five essential tips on how to handle rejection, which you need to embrace if you are going to have a full and successful dating life: ... .Continued
I have to lead the league in being rejected. I e-mail the word"bipolar" to prospective dates and the rejection hits me in the face...
But I can understand why. So I have no problem with rejection.
So, you wanna go out sometime???
Well sweetie... that´s their problem not yours... it seems that ignorance is rampant in this world... if we lived anywhere near each other... like in the same country... we would have met by know, if I had anything to do with it.
It seems to me that you bring a lot more to the table then a lot of men that aren´t afflicted with a disease. You´re kind, but have a bit of mischieviousness about you, you´re intelligent and funny and damn good looking as well. Believe me.... I know a lot of men with out half those attributes...
mbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA16,449 posts
jbibiza: Well sweetie... that´s their problem not yours... it seems that ignorance is rampant in this world... if we lived anywhere near each other... like in the same country... we would have met by know, if I had anything to do with it.
It seems to me that you bring a lot more to the table then a lot of men that aren´t afflicted with a disease. You´re kind, but have a bit of mischieviousness about you, you´re intelligent and funny and damn good looking as well. Believe me.... I know a lot of men with out half those attributes...
I e-mail the word"bipolar" to prospective dates and the rejection hits me in the face... But I can understand why. So I have no problem with rejection.
So, you wanna go out sometime???
rejection doesn't hit YOU in a face, it hits this word - "bipolar" doesn't go farther than that reaching your face, does it?
I would definitely give it a try. There is much more to it: why it could work out beautifully for 2 of us or not at all.
If we lived in the same city, by now I would already knew
like I said, the first thing is first: getting past the point of self-rejection
...and no, I am not taking a trip - have 2 gorgeous little men here (2 and 4 year-olds) can't take long separation
Ken... here we are... a couple of meddling women... please don´t take offence for speaking about you... what I have to say is positive and just my opinion of you....
I don´t think that Ken suffers so much from self rejection as he rejects his illness which is only a small part of who he is. His interaction with others is far to healthy for someone who truly rejects himself.
Again only my perception.... Ken please forgive us for speaking about you as if you weren´t here. I spill my guts all over the forums and seem to take it for granted that others won´t mind. I hope you don´t.
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So you grab your ham sandwich and run out of there as quickly as you can, saying to yourself, "I will never do that again. This doesn't work." Is this the best way to deal with rejection? How do you personally deal with rejection? More importantly, are you someone who believes that if you become "good" at dating you will no longer get rejected?
The dating truth is that being able to deal with rejection is the key to being successful at going out and meeting singles. It's also not the ultra-significant event so many make it out to be. So here are five essential tips on how to handle rejection, which you need to embrace if you are going to have a full and successful dating life:
1. Change Your Dating Expectations. One of the first and most important things to understand is that no matter what you do, not everybody is going to respond positively to you. Not everyone you smile at will smile back at you. Not everyone you say hello to is going to say hello back to you.
“Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time.”
Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time. Just because somebody did not smile back at you does not mean that you're not an attractive person or that you made a mistake by smiling. The only thing it means is that it did not work with that one person.
2. Life Is All About Rejection. Everything in life has rejection involved in it. If you're a salesperson who makes 10 sales calls, you may only get one or two people to say yes. A baseball player whose batting average is around 300 will likely end up in the Hall of Fame. A quarterback who can complete 55 percent of his passes is doing pretty well. Everything in life is about percentages. You don't quit simply because you experienced some rejection. Imagine if you stopped looking for work when your very first interview didn't result in a job offer. That would, of course, be ridiculous. Remember that you also need to keep going in your dating life when you're rejected, because you want to keep increasing your odds of success.
3. Focus on Increasing Your Dating Odds. When you feel like you are getting more than your fair share of rejections, instead of focusing on those rejections, focus on increasing your odds of success. The fact is that by playing the percentages as I mentioned above, you will be successful.
“The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say hello, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it.”
The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say hello, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it. If you're going to go out there and only talk to one person a day, then your chances of success are not going to be great. Increase your odds every single day and in everything you're doing.
Continued